I did it!

I didn't know if I could but I did it. I posted everyday for 30 days! Wow! It seemed like it would be hard, and though most of my posts are pretty dull and not entertaining like some bloggers out there, I did it! Yeah NaBloPoMo!

how does he know it is candy?

It very ceases to amaze me how Lance knows that candy is candy despite him seeing something for the very first point. Last week he was at my mom's house and he saw a Milky Way. He made a fuss and wanted it. I was stunned how does he know that shiny wrapper is something to eat, or something he would want to eat. I don't eat Milky Ways and we don't have candy with the exception of M&Ms occasionally here. Then some friends brought over Hershey Kisses, guess who wanted some? How does he know? And yesterday I was putting out the Christmas decorations and I put on candle holder that I made on an end table. It has candy canes on it and I figured Lance won't bother it since he had never had candy canes before, but I was wrong. I was in the playroom and Lance walked into the living room, he returned a few minutes later with the curve part of the candy cane in his mouth. I was impressed that he figured out that candy canes were something that he wanted to eat. How did he know? It could have been plastic and though he puts a lot of things in him mouth he doesn't put everything in there. How is it that toddlers have a candy internal radar system? My little one has definitely got quite the sweet tooth.

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful for:

1- getting up 30-45 minutes before lance to have time to myself (lance is sleeping later in his own bed and I am getting up earlier)

2- a quiet morning just playing at home, errands need to be run, but we just played this morning

3- a fridge full of food, it is nice to have options when trying to decide what to eat for lunch and dinner and I don't have to run to the grocery store before cooking

4- Christy for uploading the pictures she had taken at the beach, she always has good pictures

5- cordless telephones, how did I ever stay in one place to talk to someone?

picture slacker

I finally uploaded the pictures from my camera and there are some really cute ones from the last two weeks.

Lance blew me a way last week when he was sitting in the driver's seat and motioned for my keys and then tried to put them in the ignition. It never ceases to amaze me how he picks up on little things like how the key goes where, I have never shown him how to do that.


We make a family calendar every year and I wanted a few Christmas pictures for the calendar so I put Lance in his santa pjs and took some shots. This one I thought was very cute.
Daddy lets lance play with very expensive toys- the church's sound equipment. Lance loves to play with the sound board. I shouldn't put all the blame on daddy, that is Justin (who is in charge of sound) standing beside lance in the picture, so he lets him play too.

Yesterday we went to the park to play. Last week I finally remembered to put the sand toys in the car for lance to play in the sand pit. He had a great time until some older boys came and used all the toys and threw sand at .
Who loves macaroni and cheese?
He had three helpings. And yes, that is the homemade kind, I don't like the box stuff.

It is so funny how Lance copies what we do now. Here he is standing on the dishwasher with the oven mitt on. It was funny to watch as he would lift up the casserole lids up just like I do when cooking. The game was lots of fun until he dropped one on his foot.

Lance is crazy about his wind-up train, one of the hand-me-downs we got. And here he is copying how daddy sits when he plays with the train. As you can see he loves to derail the train.
I need to go get my family calendar done while Lance is still asleep and put away more of our new toys.

it was Christmas for Lance last night

Robert called last night because he was getting rid of some of the boys' old toys in preparations for new toys coming in with Christmas and wanted to know if we wanted any. I told him we would take anything he didn't want so he came over last night and it was Christmas for Lance. Lance got a Fisher Price farm (the older version that doesn't make noises), a cashier register (with all the parts and works), a never been opened Home Depot Tool Set, Mega Blocks Car ramp set, lots of puzzles, Candy Land, a swim vest, and some kind of building thing called Zoob. Oh, I almost forgot, he got a tractor that when you press down on the farmer it makes a sound and moves, he loves it! I can't wait for Christmas when he will unwrap some more toys and enjoy playing with everything for the first time.
Also, I was worried that the pictures that we had taken on Sunday won't give us any good ones we could use for gifts and our holiday photo but they did. I am so excited there are a lot of good ones and some funny ones too. Now I have to decide what I want to get for everyone. Becky did a great job and I want one of a lot of them.
Another exciting aspect of today: Lance and I went grocery shopping and were able to get a lot and not go way beyond what we wanted to spend. Grocery shopping has gotten very stressful. I try to be very careful with what I buy, but if I don't buy enough or everything that we need we are stopping by the store every other day and spending more money then I would like. Also, I try to keep a running tab on what I have in my cart, but when I am adding and putting back, entertaining lance, and trying to find what I need it makes it hard. So we finally have food and don't have to eat out anymore, yeah!

rainy day

Ahhh, it is so gross out right now. It is cloudy, raining, and feels like the sun doesn't exist. It would be a good day for napping and reading, but we have no food and I have to go to the grocery store today. Last night we watched "Everything is Spiritual." It was very interesting and entertaining. He (Rob Bell) explained about different dimensions by giving the example of what a three dimensional object passing through a two dimensional world would look like and related it to God. A ring passing through a two dimensional world would look like a dot, then two small lines that move away from each other and then the lines moving towards each other and then a dot. Two people who might see this could have different opinions on what just happened, one could believe it was a ring, though they have no real proof and someone else could say it was just dots and lines, similar to how two people could explain God. Anyways, I enjoyed the DVD and it just excites me how much good stuff is out there today to learn from.
Also last night I was offered an opportunity and I don't know what to do. Paul and Karen are having a baby in a couple of weeks. Karen financially supports them because Paul does not have a salary (he's our pastor). The ideal situation is for Karen to stay at home with Ella, but they don't know if that can work, so they need a babysitter for Ella and they asked me. I have mixed feelings about this. I am excited because I would be able to make a little money, I would be able to take care of a baby girl (I would love to have a baby girl), and I could have another baby without having another one (though I would still love to have one). The downside is: our house is small now with only one, two will make things even more cramped, it will be at least 40 hours each week, it will be hard, it will change Lance's schedule and world, I feel bad because another baby will take away from him, but all of the downsides would be the equivalent to us having another one. I would love to do this for Paul and Karen I just don't know if this will be too much. The crazy thing is, I really want to have another baby, but I have reservations about taking the job. If I am honest, I have a fear that we won't have anymore children, and this is the best I will get. I have been praying for another baby, so is this opportunity my answered prayer? The money even though it won't be very much will help pay bills and save for the future, but will I fall victim once again to ownership and holding it over Jeff's head. Will I resent him for not being able to provide for us without me pitching in to help? Will it ever give him the opportunity to solely provide for us? Then a selfish question: why can't I be a stay at home mom who just stays at home and doesn't have any other responsibilities other than her children and home ie, bring home the bacon? Is this the best decision for Lance, I want the best for him, is this it? So many questions, I wish I could get a billboard kind of answer from God so I would know I am making the right decision. I know that not all opportunities are the ones we are suppose to take, is this one we are or aren't? I do know that this could be good. I have a lot to think about.

the weather turned out okay

This morning it looked like it could snow, but it was above freezing so I was worried about rain, but it cleared up this afternoon, thank goodness. For Christmas presents we wanted to get our picture taken to give to the relatives. We did it last year, but we wanted to do it again since lance has changed so much in a year. The only problem is, now that he is mobile and getting him to stay in one place is impossible! I hope that we got some good shots, we will see either later tonight or tomorrow when Becky puts the proofs up. Then comes the hard task of deciding which pictures.
Tonight we have small group, but we have invited some extra people because we are going to watch Rob Bell's new DVD, Everything Spiritual, i hope it is good. Only 29 more days until Christmas!

Thankful Day 7: Final Day
1- for our church, I love that I don't have to be anybody, but myself

2- that someone else is bringing dinner tonight so I don't have to cook

3- Becky for coming into town to take our pictures

4- for our Sunday small group- i look forward to going and don't dread it

5- for the olive garden, their salad and bread sticks are so good (despite our lack of funds we went last night and it was worth it, you gotta splurge every now and then)

Thankful for a fun night

I use to be a nanny for a family and every year this family has a large party for their families. Both sides of the family come, it ends up being like 50 people. Well we were privileged enough to be invited since we are kind of family to these families. Back in the day I was the official babysitter when the adults would go out over the Thanksgiving holiday, I worked at the store the family owned, I was their nanny, I continued to work at the store, I babysat for all the kids on both sides of the family at one time or another, anyways, we are the adopted part of the family. Guess who delivered Lance- one of the doctor's in the family, who delivered me? his dad. Okay, the illustration was made. I wasn't going to go to the party because I was tired and didn't feel very good, but I knew that some family members would be upset that they didn't get a chance to see Lance so we went. We arrived early because we weren't planning on staying very long, but we ended up staying through dinner. It was so nice to be accepted into this family and be a part of their family tradition. We don't quite fit in, since all of these people are loaded, but despite the fact I shop at Old Navy and they probably have never set foot, they accept and love us anyways. Lance had a great time, he was the youngest and all of the cousins had a blast trying to entertain him. He also loved their Thomas/Brio trains that hopefully we might inherit a few when the time comes. Jeff came after work and he really enjoyed the yummy meal: shrimp and cheese grits, it sounds interesting, but it was divine! It was nice to be around people we haven't seen in a long time and marvel at how quickly children grow up. Everyone couldn't get over how cute Lance was and asked when the next one was going to come along. I used my usual response: ask jeff. Even though I probably can't express how nice the evening was, it was so nice and what is sad, I enjoyed my time with this family a bit more than I do with mine and my in-laws. I sometimes wished I had a large family and I miss the large family get togethers we had when I was younger. I hope one day I can talk Jeff into several more kids so we can have a large family, because bigger is a lot of fun, but can be stressful.

Thankful Day 6:
1- for being accepted to a family gathering when you aren't technically family

2- for jeff getting off early (or at least he says he is)

3- for children's books- there are so many books that i love and can't wait to share with Lance

4- new clothes- they just make you feel so much better, less frumpy

5- hand-me-downs, though they aren't always what I would like, they are free and someone obviously cares enough about me to share what they have (i am learning to swallow the pride)

What I am learning:
-that though we don't have a lot, material things don't really matter, the world wants us to think they do, but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter

i can't believe i went shopping

but I couldn't pass up Old Navy jeans for 14.75.  I have had a hard time finding jeans that I liked and fit well and I was shocked to discover Old Navy's jeans of all places fit and looked the best.  Thirty dollars isn't bad, but 15 is even better so I got up at 6 this morning and headed out to Old Navy.  I got there by 7 and the crowds weren't too bad, the only bummer, I only found one pair in my size.  I was also shocked to discover that the flare in the style fit perfectly, but the boot cut version was too small?  Same size and same style but they didn't fit, how come?  I also got some shirts for myself and lance.  We then headed over to Target which was swamped, I need shampoo, soap, etc.  It was really the day to buy essentials, but I was over the in the area and figured why not?  Despite being strongly against shopping with the throngs of people the day after we did it.  I did not however go to the mall, I do have standards and there really isn't any shops I would want to go to there anyways, are small stinks.  After hanging out with Lance for a bit I headed to the store to help Jeff with the Christmas rush.  It was steady for awhile, but now it is pretty slow and I am ready to go home, but Jeff has to wax some snowboards so I need to stay.  

Our Thanksgiving was really nice and quiet.  We got up late, made blueberry muffins for breakfast and since it was so warm out headed to the park.  Jeff had never been to the nursery school park before and he now understands why nursery school parks are a lot more fun than city parks (lance can do a lot more by himself).  We then headed home and while Lance napped Jeff took a bike ride.  When he got back from his ride I headed to my mom's house to help with the cooking.  Dinner was uneventful, Lance wasn't too interested in eating, I think too many people.  After dinner we had to run out to the shop for a customer to buy some snowboard boots.  We then headed home and got in our pjs and watched Ratatouille.  I don't normally let Lance was tv, but since it was a holiday we let him, but he really wasn't interested.  The movie was not bad, a little too long and predictable, but cute.  So overall, it was nice being able to hang out with Jeff and not have to worry about bills, the store, life in general.   

Thanksgiving Thankful Day 5:

1- for my mom being up for shopping at 7 in the morning and babysitting so lance can get a good nap

2-  for Christmas shoppers!  

3-  for yesterday's day off and warm temperatures

4-  cold turkey sandwiches (though I haven't had one yet)

5- for digital cameras- i never took any pictures before

Thanksgiving Thankful

I am thankful for:

1- lance- he is the cutest, funniest, best little kid I could ever have

2- electric heaters- that warm air blowing on me when the room is chilly just feels so cozy

3- blueberry muffins- they are so yummy, especially when they come right out of the oven

4- not adhering to a schedule- i use to be a strict scheduler, but I have slacked off a bit and I have enjoyed the rewards- for example, letting lance run around the skatepark instead of bath and bedtime- he had a blast!

5- Beth Moore- her books are so good, easy to read, gets me motivated to grow and learn and love

6- my mom, she is my lifesaver, need a babysitter she comes through, need chicken to make dinner, she has it, need anything, she gets it

7- Pop- though he has been gone for five years, I miss him and he showed me how to love people, love life, and to drop everything for those you love

8- a clean car and clean house- a clean, organized life has much more peace then a messy one

9- Thanksgiving- one of the few days off for Jeff and since almost everything is closed he gets to spend time with me!

10- stuffing- my favorite thanksgiving dish (bread, butter, spices, simple but so good)

Happy Thanksgiving! I can't believe it is Thanksgiving. Where has the year gone? I got a little freaked out at the grocery store on Tuesday because I purchased milk with a December 1 expiration date, DECEMBER 1, that is almost the end of the year? How can it be December already? Well I hear the boys stirring, I got some time to myself this morning, so nice, but now I need to go enjoy them.

Thanksgiving Thankful Day 3

I am thankful for:

1- spider solitaire- it is relaxing, but also gets me to think a little

2- itunes and podcasts, i enjoy listening to podcasts of different churches

3- warm sunshine- being outside and absorbing the warm sun

4- laptop computers- that I can sit on my couch and use the internet or play spider solitaire

5- living off the avenue- rivermont is a great area to walk, i can't wait for lance to get up from nap so we can cruise down to magnolia and pick up some chicken breasts for dinner

Thanksgiving Thankful Day 2

I am thankful for

1- warm days in the middle of November (warm is above 70 degrees)

2- the flip and fold (the as seen on tv gadget which is a retail store's dream when working with t-shirts)

3- jeff for vacuuming out the car

4- that jeff has a job that allows us to come and hang out with him

5- leaf blowers because raking leaves is for the birds and really hurts the arms (I raked and raked and made very little progress so we are going to bust out the blower tomorrow)

Thanksgiving Thankful Day 1

Since this week is thanksgiving, I am going to be thankful every day for all that I do have:

1- that I don't have to teach anymore

2- naptime

3- a library where I can read books for a small fee (i usually have overdue books)

4- monday morning small group because everyone is real we don't pretend like we have it all together

5- ginger ale because it yummy

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

Busy Sunday.
Church.
Clean up house.
Worked our booth at the skatepark during the skate contest.
Had a Thanksgiving dinner with our small group.
Played Spider Solitaire.
Busy.

Christmas shopping

My mom and I went to Toys R Us this morning to do some Lance Christmas shopping. It was nice not having to sneak around to go shopping for him yet since he doesn't understand Christmas, presents, surprises really. We also went to breakfast at Cracker Barrel this morning with some friends and I won't be doing that again. It took 30 minutes before we were seated. It took 30 minutes to get our food. An hour is way to long to entertain an 18 month old. Also, everything breakable was down low where Lance could reach and sure enough, Lance grabbed an ornament and threw it on the floor and broke it. The food wasn't bad, but the stress of entertaining Lance was not worth the effort.

we had a morning

Jeff decided to take the morning off and I am so thankful he did. All three of us slept in, I don't think I have slept past 8 am in a very long time. Since Jeff wasn't headed anywhere I was able to clean my bathroom- it was nasty- and take a shower all by myself! We then headed to the mall because I really wanted to go to the gap and see if they had any nice clothes for lance for Christmas pictures. We ran into a guy we knew over ten years ago and he gave us a 30% friends and family discount so we all got sweaters (jeff's and lance's match!). We then checked out Pac Sun to see what shoes they were carrying and to scope out the christmas competition. We then decided to go to Victoria's Secret and splurge on a no longer nursing/ have no boobs and need something sexy bra. I tried on a whole bunch and found two I liked. At 40 dollars I wasn't going to buy both so I chose one of the two to purchase. The poor salesgirl who was trying to ring up people as well as open up dressing rooms couldn't scan the bra I had picked because the tag was messed up, I ran to grab another, but when I came back she was helping someone else and Lance was screaming. Lance was done with the mall and my time had expired. I told the sales lady I had to go and I was sorry and we left. I am kind of bummed, but we really didn't need to spend that much on me anyways and I can go to a department store and get more simple ones for less. I do keep thinking about the one episode I saw of Tim Gunn's guide to Style about how important under things are, but I don't know if VS is ideal, but it looked better than my current choices. We then headed to the shop and since Jeff was busy I ran to the bank and grabbed lunch while lance and him stayed at the shop. It was a nice morning and though I do have a bit of buyer's remorse since I got a shirt and a sweater today for myself, I am happy about my purchases because I haven't gotten anything for myself in awhile and I won't feel as frumpy as I do. It was nice to actually go out and do something as simple as shopping with Jeff. I enjoyed every moment of it because I know next week is when the craziness starts or at least I hope and pray it does!

beginning to feel a lot like winter

No smooth transitions into different seasons here. A cold front is moving through and the sixty degree temperatures of yesterday are gone. It is cold, well cool, and very windy which makes it feel cold. I decided that I need to get off my bum and get walking. I walk everyday in the summertime, but I hate being cold and become a hermit in the winter and I know that exercise helps me feel better so I said I was going to start walking. Well, I sure picked a nice one to get started. We took a brisk 2 mile walk this morning and I feel quite refreshed. Lance and I went with Ashley and Will and we were polar opposites walking buddies. Lance was in his jogging stroller and we both had on our winter coats (we were ready for winter). Will was in an umbrella stroller and he and his mom were wearing only sweaters (they use to live in Vermont). We looked pretty silly walking down the street together, but we didn't care, I was warm and getting some exercise. Our reward for our brisk walk was a hot chocolate for me and a bag of pretzels for Lance at Magnolia. I hope that Ashley will hold me to my plan to walk on a regular basis even if it is cold outside, I am going to toughen up. One day down, many more to go.

growing up way to fast

Enjoying chocolate peanut butter ice cream, mommy's favorite because Daddy wasn't sharing his pumpkin pie ice cream.


Saturday night Jeff got some ice cream for dessert and just like his momma, Lance loves ice cream. I don't know why I busted out the camera, but I did and when I was looking at the pictures I noticed how old he looks. What has happened to my chubby little baby. He losing all of his chub and getting so tall. We are having problems find pants that fit, 6-12 months are high waters, but 12-18 are too large in the waist and a bit too long. Everyone said in the beginning "they grow up so fast," I didn't believe them, I thought the newborn, no sleep thing, would last forever, but it is and he is growing up so fast. We still aren't talking, but he is so close. I can't wait for Christmas it is going to be so much fun this year.
Things are better I guess money/store wise. We borrowed some money and hopefully that will cover us until the Christmas shopping season kicks in. I am frustrated because we never seem to be able to get ahead and it doesn't ever seem like we will be able to be successful, that we will always be treading water. Despite ridiculous gas prices I am praying that everyone will buy lots of snowboards and skateboards! Only a week until Thanksgiving, thank goodness!

just when i think it can't get any worse

It does.
I don't know how we are going to make it.
When it rains it pours.
We have negative money in the shop account.
Lots of bills to pay.
Ten boxes of shoes and snowboard boots on a UPS truck waiting for a cashier's check to pay for them or they get sent back which means we won't ever get them and won't be able to order product from this company again.
Very little money in our checking account.
Bills to pay.
and no light at the end of the tunnel.

Is it worth it anymore?

how many cops do you need for a rabid fox?

Five.

How many police officers does is take to actually do something to remove the fox?
Two.

What do the other two do?

Watch with the rest of us.

It is sad that when there is a real emergency it takes forever and you get one, maybe two, but a dying fox, five.

Then again, it was noon on Sunday, for them, it was probably the most excitement they would get on their shift.

Why was a rabid fox so entertaining? That is the real mystery. Church let out a little after noon yesterday and a guy headed out to the parking lot to go home. He saw what he thought was a cat staggering around the parking lot, he then noticed it wasn't a cat, but a fox. He went back inside the conference center where we meet to alert everyone else about this staggering fox in the parking lot. Someone called the police and officers started arriving immediately. I was not ready to leave yet so I wasn't too worried about the situation, but when I had packed up and was ready to go I got curious. I looked outside and noticed that half of the church was watching the parking lot and there was a cop car blocking the entrance to the parking lot. Lance and I went out to investigate. Several people had a fit at me because I had Lance with me and it would be traumatic for him to see this fox get shot, but I went out anyways. One police officer had a large rifle and the others were mulling around trying to decide what to do. The fox was sitting between two cars and that was when I realized I didn't want the officers to shoot the fox from where they were because if they missed they would hit my car! Go figure, of the 12 cars in the lot, the dying fox parked himself next to my car. At that moment I was thankful that someone had seen the fox, it would have been quite freaky to walk out to my car and see a fox sitting beside my driver's side door. The fox was very beautiful and not very big. He was obviously sick and hurt, he laid down between two cars (one of them being mine) and just laid there. The officers continued to deliberate I guess on what to do. My question: where was animal control don't they know how to handle this situation? I also leaned over to Jeff and asked him (as though he would know) why didn't they get out a hook contraption that they place over the neck of the animal and then tightened, and just then they found one. I think at that point the fifth cop had just pulled up and he might have had one. A cop got into the car that was the barricade to the parking lot and hung out the window with his restraining device and scooped up the poor fox. The fox was obviously ill, it didn't get up, run, fight, anything. The cop eventually got out of the car and took it to the far side of the parking lot and shot the poor animal (on the opposite side of the car so we couldn't see). Some people were very upset that they killed the animal, but it was obviously very sick and tired, possibly rabid and put out of its misery. They carried the fox back over and put in it a car to transport it somewhere (they scary thing was they didn't know what to do with it, i thought they have to have it tested). Though it was sad because an animal died, and scary because there was a wild animal in the parking lot, it was the most excitement we have ever had at church. It was a scary reminder that there are lots of wild animals closer than we realize. The conference center where we meet is downtown, granted our city is not large, but it is still downtown and foxes are something you associate with woods, large amounts of woods.

sunday afternoon

This afternoon Jeff wanted Lance to get a chance to play in the woods and tromp through the leaves so we headed out. Lance enjoyed running down the trail and crossing over the bridges.

He had a blast exploring.




I was amazed that this tree could grow on a rock.

Lance thought he was hot stuff walking across this little bridge.

why life is so predictable for other people

There are people that I know and know of and they are so predictable. Am I that way too? I hear about someone life and make a call about what I think will happen next and usually it does. It kind of gets to me because usually the call I make is the best case scenario for that person and something that I would like for myself and seeing other people get what I want over and over is hard sometimes. So if everyone's life is so predictable what is in the cards for me next? The other thing is, these other people have the God is a genie thing down pat, or to sound better, ask and you shall receive.

feel a bit better

Yesterday whatever was wrong turned from manageable to miserable. I don't know if it is allergies or a cold or what, but I am feeling better today, or should I say this moment. I took a Claritin and it seemed to help on and off yesterday, it was really strange. I would be feeling good one moment and then, my nose would be runny and my head congested and I would be feeling horrible, but then it would stop and my head would be clear. It was kind of like the allergy medicine was working, but not consistently. I was feeling not so great this morning, but I feel pretty good right now and I have my moments. Lance seems to be better than he was, but he does have a bit of a cough. So this week has been not very exciting. Earlier this week I didn't feel good thanks to the dreadful days, then Lance didn't feel good, and now I don't. It has also been very cold out and I realized I am so not ready for winter especially with a little one who LOVES to be outside. It is suppose to be the sixties next week which will get us outside a lot hopefully. I am really torn, I am hoping for a mild winter for Lance (so we can play outside), but also a cold winter for Jeff (so snowboard business will be good). I guess a cold winter would be better because better business means less stress and we can pay the bills and I could buy warmer clothes to keep Lance happy.
Speaking of the store. I can't believe the day is here. The day we have been waiting for, for six years, we now have a skatepark. It seems to good to be true. We have been waiting for the skatepark to open for years and hopefully business will finally be steady. When things are rough business wise we always say, let's keep going until the skatepark opens, well now it is here and hopefully we will see an increase in business and be able to be successful. I keep waiting for the hammer to drop though, because it seems to good to be true: we finally have a skatepark and with the exception of Play-it-again, we are the only place in town that sells skateboards. So now that things seem to be good I am waiting to here of some corporate large store coming to town (though I don't think there is one), or some larger store from another city, or just another shop opening up to take away from our business. I know that I should see the glass as half full and not half empty, but in times past when we think we were going to get a break and finally have this kind of moment something has happened. For example, a large sporting goods store that carried snowboards closed their store we were all excited because we were going to be the only snowboard shop, well a large store opened up in town and took away a lot of our business, then we got news that they were closing, but they didn't close until a year after their announcement, then we got excited and then found out that Play-it-again was expanding. Anyways, it just seems that whenever we might get a break a new roadblock comes in. I hope and pray that another store won't open and that someone won't see the potential because we have been trying for six years to get a park, and be a successful store and I hope now if finally our chance. Also, Jeff was worked so hard to support the skatepark and get it open as well as support the scene here by having events and it would be a shame if someone came in right when it got easy and use the excitement that Jeff has generated for their benefit. So hopefully this weekend is the start of something and not the end.

haircut, sneezing, cool perspective, christmas music,

This morning Lance got a haircut because he was getting a bit shaggy and now he looks so different. He now looks like a little boy which makes me sad, he is growing up too fast. Anyways, the haircut was not easy, for some reason Lance did not want to sit, have his hair touched, have his hair combed, anything. His favorite candy, M&Ms didn't even work to make him happy. We finally got his hair trimmed and then I tortured myself by getting my eyebrows waxed. This normally isn't bad, but I have been sneezing a lot today and the waxing made the sneezing worse and for some reason it hurt a lot more than it usually does. Speaking of sneezing, I am miserable today. My nose is running, I am sneezing quite a bit, my head is slightly congested, my eyes itch and are swollen, and my face is tender. I don't know whether it is a cold or allergies, but I took a Claritin and hopefully that will give me some relief soon. I feel bad, but I know it could be worse and I am praying it doesn't get worse. Lance seems a bit better today, he is still congested, but his nose isn't as gross and he is still drooling a lot. Here are Lance's before and after haircut shots:
Before haircut:
It doesn't look bad, but it is getting kind of shaggy.


From this view it is starting to get a bit like a mullet and girly.
and after:

He looks so old and thinner. I think the haircut also makes him look more like his dad though he is the splitting image of him, but I notice more now.


He would not stay still so I could get his picture so this is the best closeup I could get.

A cool perspective:
I feel a majority of the time like a goober, but I realized this morning that I am cool, maybe only cool by association, but I am. How many people get to say that they own a snowboard and skateboard shop? We get to meet cool people and sometimes get to go to cool places. Though life seems pretty dull sometimes, it has the potential for coolness. Last night we watched a snowboard movie that was really cool ( i am so overusing the word cool). It was called bikecar and these guys built a bike-car and traveled over 600 miles to several ski resorts. It was good because it was about snowboarding and wasn't just a bunch of rail slides and party scenes. And you know it is good if I like it, I don't like many. Anyways, watching bikecar made me think about how lucky those guys were that they could just build a bike-car and travel for several weeks. Then I thought about all the neat experiences that we have had from owning the business and how Jeff is a mini-celebrity because of the shop and that our life is not dull as I think it is. I realized that I need to start living in coolness and not dullness. Did that make any sense? Probably not.
Finally, I have done it, I have busted out the Christmas music! I love Christmas music and why wait until Thanksgiving when you only have 30 days to listen to it, I want to enjoy it for a longer time period so I broke bad and started playing the Christmas playlist. That reminds me, I should look on itunes and see if they have a new happy christmas album. Do you call them albums anymore? Who knows.

cold for month of November, check

The doctor said at his 18 month check up that Lance would get a cold a month, so far Lance is living up to those odds. He had a cold at the beginning of October and he appears to be coming down with another today. Yesterday he kind of had a runny nose, he sneezed more than usual, and coughed more then usual, drooling a lot, and then last night he was up a lot. Today we have a yucky nose, some sneezing, and a lot of drool. I don't know whether it is a cold or some more teeth coming in, or both. I realized this morning that I never appreciated sleep until I had Lance. I forget how nice it was to go to sleep and not wake up until morning most nights, this does happen some nights, but not at the frequency they use to. Lance has been getting up a lot and sleeping with us in our bed which is not a good habit I want to create, but also because he is a bed hog. Last night I got rolled on, head butted, kicked, hit, and drooled on, and this is what I can remember while half asleep. I feel worse for Jeff because he was more awake and trying to deal with Lance then I was, I was not fully awake and not much help to the two of them. I did suggest at one point that we give Lance some medicine which gave him the relief he needed because he went to sleep shortly thereafter and sleep until morning.
So because we are a little under the weather we are hanging out today in the house and trying to get stuff done around here, but it is not easy. For everything one thing I do (fold laundry) Lance messes up two things (pulls out all his socks out of the sock basket and takes everything out of the drawer in the bathroom). We are going to go shortly to my mom's house to play, she is home sick from school (she has bronchitis) so we will have a change of scenery, but we are laying low today.
Last night Jeff and I talked and he wants to change things at the shop, but he doesn't know how. We went to the library and he got two books that will hopefully give him some ideas and suggestions on how to run the business smoothly and give him some more free time. The marketing book is quite entertaining because it was written in 1997 (not that long ago), but it can get quite dated in some of its ideas. For example: try e-mail your customers instead of calling, a lot of people prefer e-mail to the phone, now instead of e-mailing there are websites, blogs, myspace, etc that is easier than e-mails because customers come to you. Another suggestion was to get a cell phone as though cell phones were a new concept and not everyone had them, but there were some good ideas too.

i really am in a holding pattern

Last week I was frustrated because I was in a holding pattern, which in that sense I am not anymore, but I realized I really am in a holding pattern when it comes to life in general. I am just waiting and waiting, and holding for things to get better. I am not doing everything I want to do now because I am waiting. Things aren't the way I would like them to be, but I think that in the future this won't be the case so I will wait, but what if I am waiting forever? For six years now I think that the shop will be more successful and Jeff won't have to work as many days and hours, but he is working more now then ever it seems. I keep thinking one day we will be able to go out-of-town every now and then, but we haven't yet, so do I just keep waiting? I keep thinking one day Jeff can have a weekend and we will be able to do things together, but when, when Lance is in high school? I keep thinking things will get better financially and we will finally be able to get ahead, I am waiting for the day when we have a little extra money to buy things that we need, but aren't absolutely necessary. I have been waiting for things to get better for four or five years now and they aren't, if anything they are worse so what do we do know? For years I have watched other women with these great friends and social lives and I think, one day that will be me, but will it be? Is this as good as it gets? I don't think so. Why do I feel that I grabbed the short straw? or missed the boat on boat leaving for friendship clique island. Why can't I have the dream that I see everyone living? When is it going to be my turn?

getting ready for Christmas

Yesterday I was invited to help the store I use to work at get ready for Christmas by decorating and putting out all the Christmas inventory. It was so much fun trying to arrange the Christmas goodies and picking out what I might be interested in buying. There were boxes and boxes and even more boxes of every kind of chocolate you could want including four or five different types of peppermint bark, my Christmas favorite. There was so much stuff and because we wanted to put out all of the inventory it took several tries to get the tables arranged so they look nice. Some of the employees were new and I hope that they don't hate me, I got a little bossy at times because I knew some tricks that would work on displaying items with maximum space efficiency. It was a lot of fun to be a Christmas elf and the reward was even better- a fifty dollar gift certificate which is awesome because there is a whole list of stocking stuffers I want to buy, Jeff is excited because he wants to use it on dinner a couple of nights and he feels entitled to some since he did take the boys to the park since their dad got called in to the hospital, but it really made his time with Lance easier because they entertained Lance. So after decorating Magnolia I am in the Christmas spirit and can't wait to decorate the house and have a little money to work on Christmas projects here.

why I hate daylight savings time

It is 6:30 and Lance is ready to go for the day and it is still pretty dark out. I can't blame him, I was awake to and ready for the day at 6, this is going to be a long winter if this keeps up.
So today is Sunday, all the running all over town for supplies is over. Today is a celebration service as church and we are expecting lots of new people and new kids. Since we don't have a children's service this Sunday we wanted to have quiet activities they could play with during the service so the last three or four days I have been running all over the place looking/buying/returning/buying all kind of games/coloring books/puzzles/etc. It has been extremely stressful trying to figure out what activities kids would enjoy, not fight over, stay relatively quiet, not have a lot of pieces, won't be messy, and also the best deal for the money. In the process, I did find some things that I want to buy for Lance for Christmas and I was very good about looking without buying. Also I learned that if you are pregnant then Target is the place to be on a Friday night, there were so many pregnant people you would think they were having a special sale or something, but it was just an ordinary Friday night. We also just got a new craft store which I checked out, wasn't impressed. It was so bright, the shelves weren't very high so I felt very exposed, and it just felt empty and very not creative. I get frustrated because we keep getting new stores, but they are more of the same, why can't we get something new like a Fresh Market? that's different. I also sat and began organizing the bills for this month, we are almost caught up, praise God. We also have almost made it a month with no overdraft fees! I am embarrassed to admit we got overdraft fees, but the problem was we would spend the money, put in money to cover the expenses and like all good banks, charges go through faster than credits, we should have disputed a few, but I thought it would force me to keep better track and thanks to Quicken it has! (actually thanks to Andy Stanley's take it to the limit series that convicted me to use Quicken). So we still have very little money, but I think we are in better control of it and with the grace of God, we may get a handle on things, we had two really good days at the shop, and I pray slowly but surely we can get out of debt and use money wisely.

saturday morning

We played a game of jumping into the pillows this morning. We would count 1-2-3, jump! Lance would kind of count and put out his fingers.


Getting ready to launch himself into the pillows.


Daddy had to go help at the skatepark so we waited for him at the window so we could wave good-bye.

Watching daddy's car leave.

in a holding pattern

Though it makes absolutely no sense because we have such little money, I would love to have another child. I really want Lance to have a sibling close in age. I have tried not to bug Jeff about it because the idea of a baby stresses him out, he doesn't enjoy newborns, he likes toddlers and up. A customer at the shop told Jeff that he shouldn't wait too long between kids because once you get use to sleeping and not crying the harder it is to adjust again to lack of sleep and all that crying. Jeff decided it wouldn't be the end of the world if we had another, which is what I have been waiting for. So this first month didn't happen, which makes me a little bummed since I fear that Jeff will change his mind and like the over thinker that I am I had it all planned out, and it would have been perfect. So I have pretty much gotten over my disappointment, but I haven't started those dreadful days which puts me in a holding pattern. I am so frustrated, Jeff says it is because I like to control things and I obviously don't have control over my body or things wouldn't be the way they are. I am frustrated because I don't know what is wrong and I just want to be normal and then there is that little fear that is creeping back in, that I can't have more children. I know that it takes time and beginner's luck is rare, but I hoped and prayed that I could be the exception to the rule, but I am not. I have realized this week that though I know in my head that God has a plan for my life which is better than any plan I could create, there is some part of my soul that doesn't believe it, and I, like Eve, feel like God is holding out on me.


These pictures are from the park on Tuesday, Lance enjoyed running in and out of the giant tube until he fell over and bumped his head. This boy loves to be outside and I don't know what we are going to do this winter because I hate being cold, I guess we need to invest in some really warm clothes.

light up the night

I have never been much of a Halloween person until now and it wasn't because Lance is old enough to dress up and go trick-or-treating. Lance did dress up, but we were having too much fun at our house so we didn't go trick-or-treating. Our small group "lighted up the night" and it was a lot of fun. A lot of churches have harvest festivals, don't celebrate Halloween, or want people to come to them, but we wanted to go to people and light up the night. Wednesday morning the guys set up lights in the front yard and raked a leaf pile. We had three games for trick-or-treaters and hot chocolate and cider for the adults. The kids were able to get a whole lot of candy at our house. We gave them 30 second to find as much candy as they could in the leaf pile (sometimes it was tough to find a single piece because it was quite a big pile and it all sunk to the bottom), they could throw glow-in-the-dark necklaces around pumpkins of different point values and how many points determined how many pieces of candy they could win, and finally they tried to get a glow stick in a bottle to win candy. The families from the neighborhood really enjoyed the games and families passing through the neighborhood would stop in the middle of the street to come over and play. Having games was a lot more fun than just handing out candy. We didn't know if we would get many kids coming by because we did not hand out candy the last two years and our neighbors had gotten pretty burned out and no longer handed out candy, but we go a good turn out. We had stopped handing out candy in the past because we got frustrated by the rude kids with lack of costumes the first year we lived here. This year the lack of thank yous, the large number of kids that aren't from our neighborhood, and the lack of costumes didn't bother me at all, I guess it is from the change in attitude, I had more of a serving attitude and wanted to give kids candy regardless of what they did and hoped that they had a good time. Before yesterday I wasn't sure how we were going to celebrate Halloween, but now I hope we will be able to go all out again and light up the night.



I did make sure that Lance got plenty of use of his Halloween costume, we wore it all day! He loved the costume and would dance around in it, it was very cute. I was worried that he wouldn't keep it on, but he did great. He was afraid of people in masks, we went by the Cooks, and he was very leery of John in his sheet and Thomas when he had his mask on. I got some funny pictures of the three of them and in both shots Lance looks terrified. So Halloween was a lot of fun and I can't wait for next year.


Oh yeah, and that first picture is Lance on a sugar high thanks to Paul giving him as many Sour Patch Kids as he could eat!