the snow that never came

The national weather service predicted 3-5 inches. 
Local news said 2-4. 
An amateur meteorologist I followed said 1-2. 
What happened?
A half an inch if you round up.

The ground is somewhat covered, the sidewalks 50/50, and the roads are wet, but there's no school tomorrow for the kids.
It is suppose to get cold tonight, 4 degrees Fahrenheit and the wet will freeze and it will be nasty in the morning, but two hours delayed sounds appropriate.
Wednesday is my cleaning day and I will have kids at home, not good.
It has been a very disappointing day.
When the weather people predict snow a week out it never turns into anything.
When they decide it is going to snow a day or two ahead of a storm it usually does, except for days like today when it doesn't.
It was suppose to start at 6 am, at 6, nothing.
Then they said mid-morning, still nothing.
Then it was 1-2, and it continued to do nothing.
Finally a little before 3pm some very fine wintery stuff fell and kept falling, but it was so fine and dry that it really didn't accumulate.

Overall today was a total snow bust.
What makes things even worse, it isn't suppose to get anywhere close to 50 degrees in the next 10 days.
Ahhhhhhh!  I want my global warming back.

back to the grind

So tomorrow is my first day and evening class of the spring semester. I am dreading it.  I have gotten spoiled in my four weeks off.  I love routine and schedules and being busy so why am I dreading going back to work?  Is it because my schedule kind of stinks, an 8 am and a 7 pm on the same day so I start the day early, but I still have an evening class hanging over my head all day?  Is it because I am a morning person and by 9pm I am beat yet I still have 30 more minutes of class?  Is it because I am just adjunct which means I work really hard for not a lot of money and benefits and it doesn't seem worth it anymore?  Is it because I hate not being able to take the kids to school or tuck them in two days a week?  Is it because it is winter and so I am currently hibernating and don't really want to go anywhere?  Regardless, my alarm is going to go off pretty darn early tomorrow morning and my day won't be over until 9:30 tomorrow night.  Yes I do have a lot of time in between, but I work best in the morning and early afternoon, I am ready to relax at 8:30.  So, ready or not, a new semester is starting.   16 weeks, I can do this. 

the gas log disaster

Lance really wanted Santa to bring him a gas log fireplace.
How can one say no to something that would last for years and would be something the whole family could enjoy. 
Lance got his Christmas wish, even though right now I wish he hadn't.
The Friday after Christmas we had someone come by and put in the gas line and install the logs.  The logs were on and everything seemed perfect, we were so excited.  After about 5 minutes, before the installer had even pulled out of our driveway the logs went off.  I immediately ran outside and asked why the logs went out.  He came back in and examined the logs.  He showed me something on the fireplace and told me to contact the company and tell them I needed a replacement thermo couple limit and it would be easy to install.  He had a customer with the same fireplace and the same problem and it should be an easy fix.  Immediately I called the company that makes the fireplace and after waiting on hold for a few minutes I spoke to a customer care specialist and explained the part I needed as described by our installer.  The woman for the company didn't seem to know what I was talking about and was flipping through the manual and asking me if I saw the part I needed in the manual. I kept explaining that the part I needed wasn't labeled anywhere in the manual and that my professional installer told me I need a thermo couple limit.  After being on hold while she consulted someone else, she came back on and told me the part  I need was -------- and it was item number --------.  She recorded by name and address and said that my part would arrive in 5-7 business days not counting weekends and holidays. 
Bummer.
So it has been a week and a day and the part hasn't arrived and it is really cold outside.  We were told that thermocouplers are parts for gas logs that are sold at Lowes for about $12.  I went online today and looked and the thermocouplers that Lowes sells does not look like the part our installer said needed to be replaced.  I started getting confused, so we pulled out the manual, pulled out the gas logs and started to investigate.  The thermo couple of my installer doesn't match the thermo couple of lowes.  There is a part in our gas logs that looks like the thermo couple online so I started to wonder, which part do we really need?  The one the installer pointed to or the one googled?  Of course the manual mentions a thermo couple in the troubleshooting section of the manual but never mentions what it is or where it is.  Then from studying the manual I realized that the name of the part the customer service representative is sending me is not right, it is the pilot light for propane. 
When I made this discovery I was ready to cry, we have a nonworking gas log fireplace with a replacement part coming in the mail that probably isn't right and it is cold outside and I don't know when we are going to get this fireplace working when no one seems to know what is going on. 
I was extremely frustrated because I can't fix anything nor communicate to anyone else what the problem is.
For all I know the problem could be something totally different, like the oxygen sensor, who knows. I know that I am just frustrated because it is going to be 20 degrees on Tuesday and we have a good looking new fireplace that doesn't work sitting our living room and I hate the cold! (I should note, do to the wiring in our house, we can't really run space heaters or we will blow a fuse so the gas logs was a welcomed alternative).
So everything is out of my control which is really driving me crazy because I can't fix it.

So I need to let go and just be grateful for what I do have.  A relatively warm house, two healthy kids, and a heated mattress pad on my bed that does work.  I am grateful it got above freezing today which allowed the kids and I to take a 2 mile walk down the avenue.  I tried a new recipe tonight, 1 hour dinner rolls, a recipe I discovered on Pinterest and finally got around to making.  I am grateful for the two weeks the kids had off from school and I am sorry that they have to back on Monday, I can't wait for summer.  I am thankful for food in my kitchen, we have been trying to eat at home and I know there are many people who don't have the food options that we do.   

I am thankful that Lily wants me to go cuddle in bed with her because she won't always.  So there maybe many mistakes because I am not proofreading.

the perfect day, followed by a not so perfect day

Yesterday was perfect, today, not so much.
Yesterday morning, got up made breakfast (eggs, bacon, and muffins).
We logged onto northpoint online and had church over breakfast and on the couch in our living room.  It was really nice to do "church" from home with the kids sitting with watching or playing quietly nearby.   We then got ready for the day, packed a picnic lunch, and headed to the mountains to go hiking.

almost to the top

taking in the view at Buzzard's Roost

 We hiked 1.5 miles up to the summit of the Sharp Top and had a picnic lunch.
The day was warm and sunny and absolutely beautiful. 

the view at the top

Abbott Lake below, where we got married

 After the hike we walked around the lake at the bottom of the Peaks and then headed to a nearby city for an early dinner at our favorite restaurant, Chipotle.  After dinner we walked over to the Fresh Market and grabbed some goodies before heading home. 

Sharp Top in the background, can't believe Lily made it all the way up there

we strolled along the lake after hiking 3 miles, we decided we need to come back and explore more on a day when we weren't tired from hiking

It was the perfect day.
Today was not that day.
This morning Lance did not want to go to school, he said he was sick, he said his throat hurt, his head hurt and he couldn't go to school (he was sick on Friday with fever, headache, and sore throat).  We told him he was not sick and he was going since he didn't have a fever.  He then complained that he was very itchy and we then looked down at his legs and realized he wasn't going to school, at least not right away.  He looked like he had leprosy, his legs were covered in pink welts, it looked awful.  We first thought it was poison ivy from our hike yesterday, but then we discovered some welts on his back and shoulders where he would not have had contact with poison ivy.  I did a quick google search of hives and poison ivy and neither really looked like his rash, then I read about scarlet fever and got a little nervous (sore throat, headache, rash, all his symptoms once again the rash didn't match).  I called the doctor as soon as the office opened since we needed to find out what to do about his rash, he couldn't go to school and it looked too awful to wait it out, we got an appointment 45 minutes later.  We took Lily to school and headed over to the doctor.  By the time we saw the doctor at 9:45 his rash had practically disappeared, we were very frustrated, how was the doctor suppose to figure out what was wrong if there was no rash to show him?  The doctor did look at the few spots that remained, took his blood pressure, listened to his chest, and did a thorough exam and then gave us the typical doctor answer: Hives with unknown cause.  Hives caused by a virus, an allergen, or just a fluke.  Since he hadn't had any new medication or new food, there was no way to tell what caused the hives.  He said that they would come and go for the next couple of days or they might stay gone, no telling, not the answer I was hoping for.  I shouldn't say that, I am thankful that it wasn't something serious like scarlet fever, but it is never fun either to get the "it's just a virus" response.  So we left the office and took Lance to school.   That morning Lily had been complaining that her tongue hurt and that she was sick and could not go to school.  We hadn't really paid much attention to her because we just thought she was copying Lance like she does, but when I picked her up from nursery school, I noticed she felt warm and after taking her temperature I soon discovered she was running  a low fever.  I wasn't surprised Lily was ill since Lance was just running a fever Thursday and Friday.  So I now have one child with hives and one with a fever.  The good news is we might be able to find out if the hives is caused by a virus if  Lily breaks out on Thursday or Friday or we may never know.  So today was not the perfect day Sunday was, but then days like today make days like Sunday perfect.

feline foe

I have never been a "cat" person, but now I am on the brink of being a cat hater.
The neighbor's cat has lost all sympathy, cool points, any emotion other than disdain from me.  It has crossed the line and it has got to go, and the neighbor too.
Let me start at the beginning.  Back in February, back when it was really cold, one Sunday night there was a poor little kitten sitting in front of our door shivering and whining to come it.  We had seen the kitten hanging around for a few weeks and we was starting to get concerned that the kitten was a stray and not going to survive the cold.  We got a cat carrier, caught the cat, and kept it inside overnight with the plan to take it to the Humane Society the next morning.  Unfortunately the Humane Society is closed on Mondays so we let it out the next morning with the plan to get catch it again that night and take it in on Tuesday.  The kitten was so cute and sweet, we thought about keeping it and just getting it spayed.  Well Monday night I went outside to find the kitten and right when I stepped outside the neighbor two houses down arrived home and I noticed the cat followed him in his house.   We didn't know if the cat was his so we waited until the next morning and asked him as he was fetching his newspaper if the cat was his.  He said it was and at that moment a cat that looked similar but larger ran around the side of the house so we realized that there were two cats hanging around not just one.   (we had been hearing a cat at night whining, I think under our house)
Flash forward two weeks ago, Lily and I decided to have a picnic lunch in the fort on the swing set.  As I was climbing in I noticed that there was poop on my shoe, I walked all around the yard looking for the pile and then I discovered the pile was actually in the mulch under the monkey bars of the swing set.  I didn't realize at the time it was cat, but I was still quite upset that our yard despite being pet-free has lots of poop in it. 
Flash forward one week ago, the kids were playing in the sand box and we went in to eat, after dinner we came back out and noticed one of the neighbor's cats (the one with one ear) was in the lid of the sandbox circling around, we quickly shooed him out. 
Then on Saturday, at about 8 am, we heard two cats fighting out on our deck, we immediately went out and one eared cat was on the deck stalking birds trying to come to our feeder.  It was then we noticed that it also vomited on the deck railing, not cool, we chased it off immediately and were starting to get irritated that this cat was quickly becoming a pest.
Saturday the kids and I planted strawberry plants in the yard.  Sunday afternoon I went out to show Jeff our new plants and I bent down to see how they were doing; I noticed one plant was kind of covered up with dirt, I thought the kids had done it in planting so I tried push away the dirt and quickly discovered I had raked my hands through cat poop.  I was MAD.
I should also note that Saturday afternoon the kids and I were playing on the swingset and I had to remove poop that was buried in the mulch. (I then realized the other mulch by the swing set was also cat poop).
So the total is 3 poops, 1 vomit, and who knows how many urines.
Monday, Jeff and the kids were playing outside, they went in to get something and when they came back (within 5 minutes) they discovered the cat had peed in the opened sandbox and pooped in the mulch by the swingset.
That was the last straw, when I got home from book club Monday night it was about 8:30 and since the neighbor was home I went down to his house and rang his doorbell.
I told him we were having a major problem with one of his cats, it was peeing, pooping, and vomiting in our yard and it was unacceptable. 
I should note that in the last couple of weeks we had not seen the kitten and our next door neighbor thought both cats were gone because bad neighbor was kind of getting back with his wife and never home.
The neighbor apologized and said he would keep the cat inside during the day and not let her out all day like he had been. 
I should also note that neighbor has been gone for days at a time and left the cats out the entire time, but I digress.
He also mentioned that the kitten had just had kittens a week ago.
I was livid, the guy who can't take care of 2 cats, now he has 5.
How I wish the Humane Society was open on Mondays, that cat would have been spayed and our neighborhood would have 3 less cats. 
The conversation ended with the neighbor saying that he would not let the cat out during the day and he was sorry for the problems.
Well I quickly found out how sincere he was.
Next morning, Lance and I left for school and what should we see in the backyard?
Yup, you guessed it, the cat squatting beside the sandbox peeing.
I was so angry, the neighbor's car was gone, he had already left for work, so much for not letting the cat out all day.
Last night Jeff went for a bike ride and what did he discover when he got home, the cat, stalking some poor cardinals trying to build a nest in our bushes.
Today when I got home from work, guess who I saw in the corner of our yard?
The cat.
So frustrated.  What do I do?
Do I catch the cat and take it to the Humane Society of someone who will take a cat missing an ear?
Or do we use the cat for BB gun practice?
Do I buy the expensive cat deterrent spray and pray it works?
Do I eat a bunch of oranges and leave the rinds all over since cats supposedly don't like citrus?
Do I scoop up all the bodily fluids and return to neighbor on their front porch?
Something has got to change, I hate that we can't play outside without worrying about what lovely gifts the cat has left for us and then what do we do about the sandbox?  Dump the sand and start over or what?

those carpool moms

Fortunately today Lance rode the bus home so I didn't have any encounters with those annoying carpool moms and maybe dads, but yesterday I did have an encounter with the worst of the worst.  I really wish I could know what is going through some of these women's heads (men too, but it seems to be mostly women). What makes them so special that they can totally disregard the guidelines for carpool pickup?  I should note that I consider the rules really to be guidelines since no one obeys and no one enforces, kind of like the whole dog poop ordinance that no one obeys or enforces.  The sad thing is there isn't just one mom or dad, that get under my skin but quite a few, it is sad that there are so many special people who rules or guidelines or whatever don't apply.  There are three major guidelines breakers which come into play every morning and afternoon:
the Park-where-I-want-to
the Turn-around-where-I-want-to
the Stop-carpool-line-so-everyone-can-see-me
there is also the
I'm-going-to-jump-in-line which is annoying too but this is usually a result of the stop-carpool-line mom.
So to explain these individuals better you should understand the lay of the land and the "guidelines".

think I have a future as mapmaker?

 The school's elevation is below the road and the students for the carpool line wait at the bottom of the steps until their parents pull up to the top of the steps.  If you are looking at the school, the entrance to the neighborhood is on your left, the neighborhood leads to several streets, but it is basically a dead end, so most traffic is coming from the left into the neighborhood or school.  The parking lot is suppose to be for buses only as well as parking for staff, though that only applies to some people.

the friendly teacher assistant also has a bullhorn to call students up the stairs though maybe she should use it on some parents

At the top of the stairs are two friendly teacher assistant that loads students into their vehicles.  You pull up to the steps, the teacher assistant calls child (if necessary), opens door, loads kid, closes door, and you are one your way.  There is suppose to be no parking across the street, but of course there are several individuals who believe that guidelines/rules don't apply to them and why should they have to wait in any kind of line?
The Park-where-I-want-to:
One species of the Park-where-I-want-to pull up on the opposite side of the street, park, get out, cross the street, get their kid, cross back across the street, open the car doors to get back into their vehicle All of that of course impedes traffic because due to their parking, street crossing, and door opening, traffic can no longer go both way down the street and buses can't get through so Mr. or Mrs. Park-where-I-want-to stops the flow of traffic and slows everything down.
Another species of Park-where-I-want-to also don't feel like waiting in line so they turn around then park in front of the carpool line and then get out to get their kids.  They don't always impede traffic and stop carpool line, but they are just annoying, once again, they are individuals who feel that they should not have to wait.  These individuals making getting back into the flow of traffic difficult because many don't believe in turn signals and just dart out.
There is also a really rude species who will turn around, park in front of the carpool line, then back up so they are first in carpool line.  Jeff picks the kids up on Mondays and he has gone from being first in line to 2nd and I think once 3rd since he didn't pull up far enough.  The entitlement these people feel sickens me.
The last species of  Park-where-I-want-to are those that park in the parking lot. Some do find spaces, but some make their own and block others in or make navigating through the parking lot difficult.

those two cars are parked in a no parking area blocking other spaces and those yellow blocks are suppose to be buses

This is mildly annoying, it kind of gets under my skin how these individuals can't wait in line like the rest of us, but it really irritates me on Wednesday mornings when I can't find or get into a parking spot when I go into volunteer in the library because individuals can't use the carpool line.  For some reason they must park, most of these individuals aren't even walking their kids in, they are just pulling in I guess so their kids don't have to walk as far, though the distance seems to be the same.

The Turn-around-where-I-want-to:

According the handbook, drivers are suppose to go to the bottom of the hill to turn around.  Of course that 1/10 of a mile (6 house lengths really) is much too far for many people so they use the school parking lot to turn in around in which impedes buses, stops traffic as they wait to turn left into the parking lot, and most of the time they can't make it because it is narrow so they block traffic coming in and out of the parking lot as they do a 3 point turn.  Some individuals understand how the school parking lot is not an ideal place to turn around because so many people are coming and going so they go down two house lengths and do a 3 point turn, once again, blocking traffic.  

There also a bold species of  Turn-around-where-I-want-to.  I have seen some do a 3 point turn right at the steps in the morning to block traffic and jump in drop off line, but the boldest of them all are those who use other people's circular driveways to turn around in.  Some poor soul has a circular driveway right across the street from the school and I have seen many "fine folks" pull in and around to turn around.  I am floored by the gall, this one driveway goes right up to a front door.  Using the circular driveway is not nearly the same as turning around in some one's driveway where you maybe use a fourth or half of some one's driveway, this is pulling right up to the door and around, tacky, tacky.

The Stop-carpool-line-so-everyone-can-see-me

This is the most annoying and irritating of all carpool species.  This is the one I encountered yesterday and wish I was bold enough to say something, but it probably wouldn't make any difference since this mom is one of the "popular" moms.  So yesterday I got into carpool line about 5 minutes early, I was probably like 10 cars back,  so I was near the school driveway.  Mrs. Stop-carpool-line-so-everyone-can-see-me, jumped out of her Honda Odyssey mini van and grabbed a booster seat from the seat behind her and put it in the trunk.  My first thought was she was getting prepared and it would be a grab and go, but I held back a little more than usual just in case because I seen her as a Park-where-you-want, bypass the line, park in front of the carpool line, and get out of your vehicle in the past.  School ended and the kids started pouring out the school and the carpool line started moving.  I was about five vehicles away from the start of the carpool line aka the proper loading area when Mrs. Stop-carpool-line-so-everyone-can-see-me, turned her van off, got out, walked around to the opposite side, opened the door, stood beside the door while her flock loaded up, then count the kids (there were quite a few), realized that someone was missing, and walked to the sidewalk to look for missing kid.  

my arrow is ghetto so my me looks like wine

As she was walking around the car, the four cars in front of her were gone and the carpool line was stalled.  Fortunately, I had suspected that she might be a problem and had not pulled too close behind her so I was able to see the gap in the line and go around.  I pulled right up to the friendly teacher assistant,  got Lance, waited for him to buckle, and pulled away.  I saw in the rear view mirror the Stop-carpool-line mom was making sure everyone was buckled.  As I was pulling away I noticed Mrs. Stop-carpool-line-so-everyone-can-see-me, had successfully stalled the carpool line and made herself visible to all individuals in the immediate area.  

The I'm-going-to-jump-in-line

Though it didn't occur this time, I have seen in the past that the Stop-carpool-line species enable the I'm-going-to-jump-in-line species to jump because the further back you are from the Stop-carpooler the better view you have of traffic and the gap in the carpool line and the easier it is to jump in line.  

I never thought carpool would be so petty and ridiculous.  It is so sad that people are so self-entitled that they are only concerned with themselves and oblivious to anyone else.  I wish someone would say something to these individuals, but how do you tell Mrs. Stop-carpool-line-so-I-can-load-up-the-whole-neighborhood-before-I-reach-the-start-of-the-line a.k.a the PTO president to obey the rules?  

I wish we lived a bit closer to school so the bus ride wouldn't be so long, 40 minutes on the bus is so long considering we are home 10-15 minutes after school lets out even with the drama of carpool line.

So now that I got that off my chest maybe I can handle drop off line next week. Maybe, just maybe.

worst summer ever

Lance has been a bit of a drama king lately and when something he happens he calls it the "worst ______ ever." Well this summer is starting to seem like the worst summer ever. The summer started off badly, Memorial Day weekend, Lily was running a fever. Then the following weekend Lance had a fever and the following weekend we were healthy, though I had just gotten over a cold/allergies the days before the weekend. The next weekend I was sick, pink eye and a sinus infection, last weekend everyone was healthy, and now this weekend, I am sick, I thought it was just allergies, but this morning I woke up achy and with a low grade fever.
Weekend illness would not be that big of a deal if I wasn't in class Monday through Friday from 9 to 12, which for the kids is the main part of the day since Lily naps in the afternoon and many days it is too hot to play outside.
So it is 4th of July weekend and I am sick in bed, not the way I was planning on spending the holiday weekend, there is still one more day of the weekend and I hope and pray I will be better tomorrow.
There is a lot of summer left and hopefully this summer won't really be the worst summer ever.

why can't things just be simple

Everything seems to be so darn complicated these days.
For example:
1- Last night we went to Toys'R'Us to buy party supplies because I had a 25% off coupon, well of course they didn't have enough plates so I went to the party store close by and finished getting what I needed.  Well I thought I had a pretty good deal until we went to Target and discovered that Target was at least 50 cents cheaper then the sale items at Toys'R'Us and the party store so that meant another trip to return everything when I had hoped to be done shopping for that kind of thing last night.  The return saved me at least $5 and I had to go back to the party store anyways to get the coloring books I decided to use as party favors so I didn't necessarily lose my savings from the gas and time, but it was still annoying. 
2-  I went to the party store this morning and of course the coloring book I wanted to buy didn't have as many copies as I need.  I ended up purchasing two copies of the one I wanted and 6 copies of the more expensive one.  Then when I went to pay for the coloring books I noticed that the expensive books rang up $4.99 although they were marked $3.99 so I had to wait for a manager to come and override and system and do a whole bunch of changing all the while trying to keep Lily from getting to the candy and pulling off all the disposable cameras off their hooks, not fun.
3- This morning Lily and I also got our bangs trimmed.  I pulled into the parking space in front of the salon, got Lily out, and as I was walking around the car I heard a hissing sound coming from the tire.  Knowing that I had more errands to run I had to call Jeff to come and change my tire.  I know how to change a tire, but I lack the strength to loosen the lug nuts and I don't want to even try and change a tire and wrangle a 20 month old.  So twenty minutes of solo child time was lost getting a tire changed since it took the twenty minutes we were getting our hair done for Jeff to get to us. Too bad we went close to home or the tire could have been changed while we were in the salon, but the way life goes, Jeff arrives right when we were finished.
4- Tuesday I had to go pay for my summer graduate classes, and right before I headed over to the school, but after I had run several errands I realized the credit card I was going to use to pay for the classes was missing.  I searched the car, searched my bag, and retraced my steps and after wasting 30 minutes of driving around to all my previous locations I realized it had slipped down between the seat and the door, though I thought I looked there multiple times.
5- Yesterday at Food Lion I didn't have with me my MVP card and after trying to use my phone number the cashier who was of little help asked the lady behind me for help, fortunately she was able to put in her number and I was able to get my savings, though it would have been a whole faster had the lady just swiped an MVP card many cashiers have on hand, or at least the ones at my regular Food Lion do.  Well to pay for my purchase I had wanted to use my gift card, but it is a bit peculiar and the last two times the cashier had to punch in the number.  I tried to explain this to the cashier after swiping it once and receiving an error message, but she didn't seem to believe me and repeatedly tried to get the card to swipe.   I was irritated at the cashier for her insistence that the card should be swiped and finally gave up and wrote a check.  After all this I realize that both of my children are kneeling by the candy and Lance is starting to unwrap a package of gum.   What should have taken a minute ended up taking 5 minutes and I was thoroughly annoyed, why couldn't the lady just punch in the gift card number so I could move along like I tried to tell her?

Things have just been extra complicated and difficult this week and I don't know what is going on, why can't things just go simply or smoothly, does everything have to be an ordeal?

give me a break

lately it has just been one thing after another.
last week the kids were all congested, cold or allergies, i don't know, but enough mucus to make life no fun
well yesterday Lance woke up from nap crying and holding his ear, so I called the dr brought him in and confirmed what I suspected, another ear infection
so there goes another $100 for an appt with the dr and medicine- I have bills that need to be paid, and no money is coming in
the best part, since this is the 2nd ear infection in a month in the same ear the dr says that he may have damage to his e tube and every time he gets a cold he might get an ear infection and might need tubes put in, how are we going to afford to do that? 
can I just get a break? just one?
I wish I had a fast forward button so I could fast forward life until it gets better, I am tired of being stressed about how we are going to make it every month and the kids being sick and looking for a job for jeff or I and trying to just get by. 

i'm just so tired of struggling and it is hard because there doesn't seem to be any end in sight.  So the only thing going for us as my mom always says "we have two beautiful children," it is just that my heart breaks that right now we aren't the best for them because we are letting the stress get to us and Jeff is never around because he is working all the time, yet bringing in no money, something has got to give, I just don't know what

what happened to global warming?

I would sure like some global warming about now.
I has been so cold all week with highs only around 30 degrees (F).
I think I might like some global warming about now so we could have playtime outside, walks down the avenue, and the ability to go outside without layers and layers of clothes.
It's too darn cold outside.
Okay, done complaining.

is naptime over?

This is the third afternoon in a row Lance is not interested in napping.
BUMMER! 
This won't be a big deal if he would play without me in the same room, but he is my shadow following me around and makes it hard to get stuff done.
The upside is he goes to bed early.
The other downside is, he get very mischievous when he needs a nap, so by 4 or 5pm he is into all kinds of trouble.

I wish it would warm up because not getting outside I think is part of the problem, but I am too chicken to spend anytime outside when it is windy and 28 degrees.
Temps in the 40's I can deal with, in the 50s is great, the 60's and above, wonderful, but anything below 40 is difficult, especially when it is paired with wind of any kind.

The only exception to my outside cold rule is when it is snowing, I love snow, but right now we have cold and no snow.

So now I have to find a way to get stuff done and spend quality time with Lance, especially since that was my new year's resolution.

not fan of november

I dislike November, I really do.
It gets dark early, which is noticeable because the time just changed and every evening it get darker earlier and earlier, which I dislike, i love the sun.
It gets colder, I am a spring and summer girl.
The germs seem to come out and play.
We spend more time indoors because I am not acclimated to the colder weather yet and can't handle the colder air, by January, I will be outside no matter what, but now I am a chicken.
We have the least amount of money and get behind on the bills, this is the third year in a row that we have no money and unfortunately we are at the mercy of our customers who don't seem to be buying.  Most money that comes into the shop gets turned around for inventory for Christmas because Christmas makes us or breaks us.  We have been barely treading water and right now we are drowning and praying that Christmas will get us out of the water.

My allergies are horrible, it is as bad as pollen season since now it is mold and mildew from the fallen leaves and rain.  I have been sinus yucky for weeks now.
I don't like fallen leaves, more specifically the two willow oak trees in my neighbors yard that blow litter our yard and gutters with their thin leaves that are difficult to rake and blow and get everywhere including the house and car.
and that is why I don't like November, well until Thanksgiving, then I like it because it is almost Christmas.  Only a few more weeks to go!

monday confessional

Some days I strongly dislike my 3 year old, that's not right.
I love him dearly, but some days I strongly dislike being around him and just want to be far, far away.
Today has been a very trying day and I am so thankful that both kids are napping at the same time because I just don't think I could handle another minute.
I know that this stage will pass, one day.
Why I want to pull my hair out:
This morning Lily had my digital camera and had it on, Lance tried to grab it away from her and since he came at her with force the poor camera went flying in the air landed on the hardwood floor with the lens open and now doesn't work.
Before nap we went for a walk, Lance insisted on taking his lawnmower with him, after five minutes he didn't want to walk anymore. Lily wanted to walk and push the lawnmower, but anytime she touched it he would jump up and hit her. The whole possessiveness is very difficult to deal with.
Then there is the whole sleeping situation, I don't know how it happened, but Lance has gotten into some bad sleeping habits and I don't know how to resolve them. He has to have someone in the room in order to go to sleep and if he gets up at all in the middle of the night he won't go back to sleep in his bed, so most nights he ends up in our bed. I know we should be stricter, but we are so tired and can't deal with the battle of wills at 3 am.
And I could go on about how the little guy has been terrorizing his sister and irritating me, but I need to let it go and enjoy the quiet while I have it. Some days I am ready to find a job and go back to work and away from the chaos, at least for a few hours.

on a rant

Yesterday the cell phone bill arrived and whoever took my phone racked up almost 400 dollars in downloads, they were very busy in a very short amount of time. Four hundred dollars in downloads plus at least a hundred dollar phone is five hundred dollars someone stole and guess what is going to happen?

Nothing!

The phone company fortunately removed the charges and said to contact the police.
The police well they aren't going to do anything because it was probably a juvenile, the juvenile system is so messed up nothing will happen so they won't bother to even investigate situations like this because nothing will show for it and it wastes their time.

And we wonder what is wrong with kids today?

Here's another one.

Someone I know was charged for DUI twice, in two different locations so two different court systems. They basically got off on both. One was dropped for lack of evidence (though they confessed to drinking and smoking an illegal substance) and the second one was considered a first offense since the 1st was dropped. So they are getting off with barely a slap on the hand, what kind of lesson is they learning?

No wonder people steal, drive while under the influence, do whatever they want with no regard for other people, there isn't aren't any consequences.

It is really frustrating, we have had a rough year and have hardly gotten a break, we lacked insurance and our store burns down and we were left with very little, a consequence of bad judgement and timing. But, here are two examples of people being selfish and lacking judgement yet walking away free, sometimes life is just not fair.

Done ranting right now.

it's bad enough you steal my phone

but you answer it when I call? really?
two weeks ago, or was it 3, yikes, it was 3 weeks ago I lost my cell phone, well I thought I lost it.
it was practically dead when I lost it so I couldn't call it to find it.
I have searched all over the house, the store, my car, jeff's car, everywhere and anywhere and didn't couldn't find my phone. I really did think it was somewhere in the house, Lily is the queen of taking something and hiding it, I thought it was show it self any day now. Well I don't know what possessed me to do so but I called my number yesterday and I got someone.
Someone answered my cell phone!!!!!
I was so shocked I hung up.
And immediately they called back, I was even more stunned.
me "hello."
them "who is this?"
me "this is my cell phone, what are you doing with my phone?" i then recited to them my cell phone and told them once again, in case they didn't know that they were answering my phone and they shouldn't have it.
they of course hung up
I was floored, I thought for sure it was somewhere in the house and it would show up any day, one reason I hadn't suspended the service. Well I immediately when to my mom's house and suspended the service. I also found out that whoever has my phone had used 110 minutes and sent and received 30 text messages, so not a lot, I was expecting a whole lot more, if I was evil like that I would rack up the bill. I was tempted to call the number before I suspended the phone and tell them next time they use a cell phone that isn't there's they should keep the numbers in the contact and list and don't answer when someone familiar calls!!! Oh well, I am curious though whether they were surprised or not when the phone was unusable 15 minutes after my phone call. The crazy thing is the phone was practically dead when it was taken/found so they either found a charger from a friend or paid the thirty dollars for one, hope it was the latter.
So now I have given up the hope that I am going to get my phone back, bummer, it was a nice phone, I just got it in July, and now someone will probably just throw it away, since they would not do the decent thing and return it.
Part of me wonders if the kid who has stolen two ipods and two ipod car adaptors and who knows what else out of our car took it. How do I know it is a kid? Well a police officer came by the store this week and returned Jeff's old ipod, the one that was stole in April of 2007. A minor got in trouble for something, the police asked his mom if they could search his room, found all kinds of stuff including Jeff's ipod (it was engraved). According to the police, this kid and maybe some friends go around checking cars on a regular basis and if you forget to lock the car they go through and take anything valuable. This kid grabbed something from someone just a week ago, but he is getting to be quite the professional since he took our stuff in 2007 and didn't get caught until now. We asked the officer if my cell phone was found in his room and unfortunately it wasn't, well now we know why, he didn't have it, but that isn't to say he didn't take it, since he did take my ipod and that wasn't recovered. I don't know why he didn't want to keep something that had "princess" engraved in it?
So now I am out a cell phone and someone has mine, but fortunately no one can use my phone right now.
Just one question: how much stuff am I going to have deal with? life is just too crazy, I am ready for the easy life right about now.

some days

I really want to have more kids, I don't feel "done" with two.
Today, I am content with two.
Lily is sick again! Ick! She has a cough and runny nose. I don't feel that great myself, scratchy throat and some congestion- is it spring allergies or a cold, who knows? time will tell.
I feel bad because I have little patience for either child right now and with their bodily fluids.
Saturday both kids managed to pee on me. Lily got poop on me and all over herself too. Last night Lily coughed until she spewed not once, but twice. And now today my left shoulder is her own personal tissue. I know it could be worse, Lance could be throwing up and having a runny nose so I should focus on the positives, but I just want to whine a little bit. It feels like Lily just got over her cold and now she is sick again. I think we may have to become hermits if this continues. Bottom line, I am ready for the summertime when colds are rare.

grumpy house

I love naptime and I am grumpy when naptime is taken away!
Lance hasn't been napping very well lately, he seems to wake up to every little sound. Yesterday it was the phone ringing, today the wind blowing and rattling his windows. He woke up after an hour and came in my room where I was comatose (both kids were up multiple times Tuesday night and the lack of sleep hit me today). Usually Lance once getting up will come in my room and fall back asleep, not today. I was trying to wake up, but I must have been in deep sleep and had a hard time waking up fast enough so Lance not wanting to be up alone woke up Lily. Argh! What did he do that for? I was trying to wake up and I would be able to get some naptime chores done with just one kid, but then he had to go wake the babe who is now grumpy because she didn't get enough sleep. I am grumpy, well more like frustrated, because I don't have time to get some stuff clean and Lance is making a mess faster than I can clean up a mess. Also, I am at my limit for his sounds, why oh why will he not just talk? The speech therapist says that he is making progress, but not fast enough for me, I want words, not just sounds. I don't know whether he can't say or just doesn't want to or a combination of the two, but I am just so frustrated and don't know what to do. Lance is grumpy and getting into everything due to be overtired. Then to top it off, the direct-tv doesn't work which is usually my escape when I am frustrated, a few minutes of some bravo show, usually Real Housewives and I am entertained enough to be entertaining.

halfway

I have made it to the halfway point. Hurray!
Only a day and a half left, hurray!!
These is a lot harder than I thought it would be.
Lots of sitting around and waiting, actually more like standing around and waiting.
VERY LONG DAYS! we get going at 7:30 am and get to the pool around 8:30-9 then the prelims begin at 11. Prelims end around 1 and we head back to the hotel and have lunch and rest. We head back to the pool around 5:30 for warmups and the finals start at 7 and end around 9. At nine we get dinner and head are done for the night around 11. It has been rough.
Lily's schedule is completely off and I am exhausted.
Only a day and a half left, I can do it.
As though I have a choice.

focusing on the dyson

I know I have lamented about my lack of a decent vacuum before. We have a vacuum that sucks, not in the good way, actually we have two vacuums that don't really work that great and I really want one that does. This weekend is the final weekend of swimming, praise God, I don't think I can take it anymore, really burned out and I just don't have the patience to deal with the drama anymore. Anyways, some drama has been unfolding in the last 24 hours and part of me just wants to say screw it and quit, but the clean freak in me wants to hold out because I promised myself that I was going to use my last paycheck for a big purchase for myself and I have my hopes set on a new vacuum. Not just any vacuum, the Dyson ball, it is small, lightweight, supposedly always sucks in a good way, and just looks so darn cool. So my eye is set on the prize, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.
oh yeah, i know i have said it before, don't let me coach again next year, i hate drama!

bitter-sweet

Bitter-Sweet
this describes a situation we are in right now though bitter might be to strong a word, i am not bitter more like disappointed, but there is also a sweet side too. i am not suppose to say and know anything, but i don't think anyone who isn't suppose to know will read and find out so i am safe, i hope. okay, too much rambling. first off, there is a Christian organization (church and other entities) that owns the property where my church and three other organizations meet and use for church, classes, etc. We have been blessed with not having to pay any rent for the space, which is good because there isn't modern heating and cooling, it is a horrible location, and several other reasons that I can't think of right now. This Christian organization owns a lot of property and a business is interested in the spot that we currently occupy (and probably additional space too). This business offered a good price for the spot (fair market value), the groups (my church included) offered a price to stay, well the money was better from the business and we are getting the boot. Why I am disappointed, for this Christian organization, money is more important than supporting other Christians. It frustrates me because our church supports their students, we also are trying to make the surrounding neighborhoods better by loving them, helping out where we can, doing service projects for neighbors, etc. We want to make the area a better place and not just occupy space in the area. We also can bring traffic to nearby business which need traffic because there are always people coming and going every day of the week because one of the four groups is meeting in the space every day. So I am disappointed that money is more important then loving people, but there is a very sweet side to the story and I may be glad that this Christian organization cares more about money in the long run. Because of getting the boot, a new home needs to be found and a location has been found, but there are spaces that need to be filled to pay the rent for this spot. One space is perfect for Jeff's shop. With money being non-existent, we can't really afford to stay in the high rent space that we are in and want to move to somewhere cheaper, but most cheaper places are not in great locations and not looked promising. This space is the same size as what we have now plus it has some warehouse space where Jeff could put ramps and have events, his own mini-skatepark! I haven't seen the space yet, I will this morning, but it already sounds perfect. Because the space isn't finished he will be able to kind of custom fit it with the builder so it will be just the way he wants it without a lot of work on his part. Did I mention he would get more space for half the price? Also, it would be in the same building as a coffee shop, a dance studio, and our church. It is also centrally located, easy to get to off of the expressway, and easier to find. Though I haven't seen it, it sounds like it has everything both of us wants! I am excited to see the space and hope it works out, so it is sweet and in a way I am glad that the Christian organization loved money more, it may help us out a lot, we will see. So there you have it, my bitter-sweet tale, that in the long run will hopefully be all sweet, but I am still disappointed when money is more important than making a difference.