the calendar says March

but the weather says January.
So we had a snowstorm or a wanna be snowstorm on Monday.
The polar vortex returned with two inches of snow and temperatures in the teens.  It came one day after a day in the sixties.  My respiratory system is killing me, sore throat in the morning, a cough all day, occasional sinus headache, ick.  I am tired to feeling bad.  I am tired of sweaters and winter jackets.  I am so ready for spring. I am ready for flowers and green grass.
I am tired of hibernating.
I am so ready for change.
Something new.
Something different.
and not just a change in the weather.
Today is the Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent. 
The start of something changing I hope. 
I am ready for change, for new birth, for new life. 
I am so ready.

a week of warmth

So this past week has felt more like March than February and it has been wonderful.  Unfortunately nine inches of snow leaves lots of soupy soil that has made playing outside very limited. It is also a little strange to see piles of snow when we are walking around with just long sleeve shirts.  We have taken several walks on the trail, played on the playground, climbed trees, played in the tree house, and anything else that keeps us outside because unfortunately cold weather is returning this week.  I can't wait for spring to come, March is almost here, the end of winter is in sight, thank goodness.  This has been a long, cold winter and I hate my house in the winter.  It feels so small in the winter.  In the winter, I fantasize about bigger houses and I have a hard time being content with ours.  I love our house, we have been here for almost 10 years.  It is very little, but it has a great yard, it is in a great neighborhood, it has a lot of natural light, we have worked so hard in and out and I would hate to leave it.   I have quite a few friends who have recently moved to larger homes and part of me is envious, but part of me is not, because I really love our house, it is small, but I haven't come across another house that I would give up this one for yet.  I guess I just need to add on to this one that way I can get a new and bigger house but keep what I love about this one.  One day, just like one day it will be summer again.

a quiet day

Today was the first Wednesday in weeks that the kids went to school, Jeff went to work, and I have no where to go.  It was nice.  I changed the sheets on all of the beds and picked up the house.  I did 6 loads of laundry and got them put away.  I got the pork chops for dinner marinaded.  I got bills for the month organized.  I worked on my lecture notes for tomorrow.  I put on some music really loud and enjoyed the cleaned up living room.  I sat down and read my current book and didn't feel guilty just sitting down and reading.  Today was kind of a lonely, but it was the quiet day I needed.  When I was 16 I never would think that I would get enjoyment out of cleaning and organizing, but I love taking chaos and bringing order to the world, even though it only lasts for an afternoon.   Today was uneventful, boring, but good.

A battle

There's a battle, unplug or plug in.  I want to step away for awhile from social media, at least Facebook and Twitter, I have been sucked into it too much, time to let go.  I dont want to leave Pinterest, all my recipes are there, and tomorrow I want to  bake bread.  I need to find balance and figure out what that looks like.  Do I go big or just little baby steps? iPhones and iPads are the best devices and the worst,  I get sucked in.  I need a vacation,  a place where it is easy to be in the moment and not a device. 

Day 1 of first semester

So I finished day 1.
Of course I got up way before my alarm, but I got ready and to class early.  My first class is an Early College course so it was the same students from last year, we just picked right up where we left off in December.  After class I had office hours and then went and volunteered at the kids school.  I then headed home, had lunch and worked on lecture notes for next week, cleaned up, picked up the kids from school, got homework done, and prepared dinner.  I ate quickly then headed out the door for class.  I really didn't want to go tonight, but after I got there I was okay.  The two and half hours flew by and I am back at home and get a day off tomorrow, well kind of.  So I made it through the first day, while I know that I shouldn't complain, it is not like I am working full time, but but I would rather work my 5 hour day in one time period, not in shifts.  I am thankful though that I have a job that allows me to be with my kids most days and do something I enjoy, though I wish it did pay a bit more.

so little time

I have had so many posts sitting in my head, but never the time to stop and type them out.
Life is very busy, I keep thinking it will slow down and instead it speeds up.
I went from one class last year, to two classes this fall, and now I am teaching three classes, one class less than full time.  I had my night class routine down, and now I have day and night classes with everyday different, it is a little maddening trying to keep up.
So on days I don't have day classes I have to do laundry, go to the grocery, hang out with Lil', and work on school work.  I have also been looking for a full time teaching job since Lily will be going to Kindergarten in the fall and having a job with benefits would be amazing. 
The future is all up in the air, my babies are growing up, life which is thought was at warp speed is now moving even faster and I haven't had the chance to stop and pause, hopefully I can be more intentional, probably not, but it is worth a try.

Fall Back

Fall Back and Spring Forward are the worst weekends of the year.  The idea of an extra hour of sleep is a myth, at least if you have young children.  I have noticed that the first Sunday after the clock change seems to be the longest day ever.  This morning Lance was up at 5:30 (the old 6:30) and Lily was up at 6 something.  The morning and afternoon seemed to drag on.  I thought at one point it was the middle of the afternoon, like 3:30/4 and was surprised to find that it was only 2 o'clock.  We ate lunch very early for the new time, and was starving at 5 pm, but didn't eat until 6 (which is late according to our internal clock).  The kids of course were completely a mess by 7pm (the old 8 pm) and we didn't know whether to keep them up to hopefully help them adjust to the new time and get up later, or let them go to sleep and keep the early wake, early to bed pattern.  I hate that the sun sets at 5 now instead of 6, but then again I don't really like that if we didn't change the time it would still be dark at 7 am.  I just hate winter, I love summers with hot weather and long days.  I seem to hibernate in the winter, I lack motivation to exercise and I just want to stay in bed.  Maybe I need to move to South Florida where it is always sunny and warm. 
And that's enough complaining.
I am thankful that we were able to spend time this afternoon with family from out-of-town.  I am also thankful that we got to spend time together as a family, sometimes life seems so busy and we are just passing each other by.

it's been awhile, I can't even come up with a new title

It has been awhile.  Finding time to do anything extra seems impossible these days.  I keep thinking life will slow down.  Now that my children aren't babies and do not need constant attention I thought I would have all this time to do things like blog or read books, wow I was wrong.  I did not realize that I traded in diapers and breastfeeding for homework, cub scouts, dance classes, and volunteer hours.  I miss quiet afternoon filled with sleeping children taking naps, especially when I stayed up too late the night before watching Season 1 of The Walking Dead.
There is so much going on and I don't want to miss a single thing or forget a magical moments so I have committed like I always seem to for NaBloPoMo, in hopes of getting back in the habit of blogging.  So considering that I haven't blogged in months, blogging every day seems quite impossible, but here goes nothing.  Until tomorrow. . .

It's been awhile

On this rainy Sunday afternoon I finally got around to fixing my header, just took me like 6 months.  So maybe now I will have time to post.  Well so much has happened. 
Lance had swim lessons and gained tremendous progress in the water. 
We spent a relaxing week at the beach even spotted a shark in the water.
We took the train up to D.C. and spent a long weekend riding all over.
We celebrated Lily's birthday all day yesterday with a friend party in the early afternoon and a family party in the evening. 
And now I am getting ready to teach my classes tomorrow and to send Lance to 1st grade.
I also have been volunteering a lot at school and am so excited that I have been given night classes to teach this semester so I can spend more time volunteering at Lance's school as not have to worry about childcare for Lily.
We have been so busy and summer has really flown by. 
It seems like just yesterday I thought we had 10 weeks of summer and now they are over.

So maybe now I will have a little extra time for blogging, but with two classes this semester, a long to do list, who knows what the future holds.

spring

The weather has been quite unusual, it is like the months have been re-arranged, March was more like May (was in the 80s several times), April like March (it was cold and snowed in the mountains and we had to put the heat on) and well May though we are barely in it seems more like April (April showers and cool temperatures.  Despite it all we have had several spring adventures.

We went strawberry picking up in the mountains the Sunday after Lance's party, it was a beautiful sunny, warm day, the kind of day and thanks to the cool temperatures and lots of rain not many people had been up to pick so we got the best strawberries we have had in years.

the view from the strawberry patch

very hard at work looking for the very best strawberries

Lily did more sampling then actual picking

the rows of strawberries

This spring we also got to watch as a pair of cardinals made a next in the bushes adjacent to our porch, sit on their eggs, feed the hatchlings, and feed and communicate with the fledglings.  I didn't realize that babies only stay in the next for a little over a week before they are ready to leave the next, they grew up so fast.

one of our babies right after he left the nest, but before he could fly

 I also have been able to enjoy some time to myself and just with Jeff since I am done with school but the kids aren't.  Even though it is really weird being at home without the kids, or really anywhere, I have tried to make use of my time.  One Monday afternoon during Lily's long day at preschool, Jeff and I took a hike in the rain, it was nice and quiet, though we did get a little wet.  We have forgotten what life without kids was like, so it is fun to do stuff like what we use to do together.

wet dandelion from our wet walk in the woods

We have also taken a lot of bike rides or at least the kids have done lots of riding.  Their favorite afternoon activity is riding their trikes around the driveway.  In the evenings we also take walks down the street with the kids on their trikes.

Lily taking off down the street

 We also have gone on the bike trail several times and this past weekend, Lily rode on her "new" princess bike with training wheels.  She was a little nervous, but she did great, she looks too little to be able to ride the bike, but she has figured out the brakes and pedaling easily.  Lance also has improved in riding his "real" bike, though he still get nervous and would like to ride a bike with training wheels or a 3 wheeler.

the kids heading down the trail

after years of complaining about the seat hurting my tailbone, I have found a comfort bike I love

Lance showing off his new blue bike, Jeff and him repainted his bike (it was red)

Lily crossing the river

taking a break for a swing

So, so far, spring has been busy, but we have taken advantage of the warm weather and sun when we get it and spent a lot of time outside.  I am looking forward to summer and all the adventures we have planned and riding our bikes to the pool, now if the weather will just cooperate.

lily taking her princess bike out on the sidewalk for the first time

no time

so there are so many thing to write about, but so little time.
I am a bit behind in my class, I kind of know what I am doing tomorrow in lecture, but after that, nothing.
I have a big work project for my other job and that project is 1 step forward, 2 steps back and I just want to get my first portion finished, i keep having to going back and changing things and for awhile things weren't saving correctly, anyways, I have that hanging over my head.  On the positive, the longer it takes, the more money I make.
Next week is the kids consignment sale and I have been trying to get the kids old clothes and toys ready for that, as though I need more on my plate.
Then it is Thursday which is laundry day and clean house day.  The laundry is mostly done, just not put away, but the only thing I did cleaning today was organize the laundry room, my to-do list is HUGE!
Then let's see the weather also has been amazing so I have been trying to get outside as much as possible, but since what I need to do is inside, it has been tough being productive.
So much to say, so little time, hopefully I can get caught up this week.  I kind of have to and find a way to hang out with the kids, life is complicated.  I need a spring break.

it was like black friday but on a wednesday

Sadly there is a Food Lion nearby that is closing and as a result the store went on sale today: 50% off and it was insane.  I stopped by after volunteering at Lance's school and before class thinking I could just run in and out (about 10 in the morning), but I realized right away that wasn't going to happen.  I called Jeff who was at home and asked him to come and over and wait in line and to bring a big tote so I could use it as a shopping cart since carts were not available.  As Jeff stood in line I walked around and gathered what I wanted then I left him to go to class, he was an awesome for staying and waiting in line to buy what I wanted.  I am extremely thankful, 50% off was just too good of a deal to pass up. I grabbed pull-ups, tums, claritin, juice boxes, batteries, cereal, cascade, freezer bags, and quite a few more, things that I normally buy and are on the expensive side, and most importantly things we use all the time.  Jeff was entertained in line, the lady in front of him spent over $500 dollars and he learned that the store required you to pay every $500, but they let her run over a little since she only had a few additional items.  There was a couple there who had 5 carts overflowing with items, they told him they stock up on store closing sales and spend several thousands of dollars.
After I left to go to class I called my two friends and told them about the sale because it was such a good deal.  Both went, one friend spent about 30 minutes in line and the other spent an hour and half.  I stopped by the store on my way home from class to help my friend entertain her daughter while she waited in line since Lily and her were friends, after 30 minutes the line wasn't moving so I took Lily and Ella back to our house.  While my friend waited to check out the computer system crashed so the registers stopped working and one register was never able to go back online.  The lines were so long that they locked the doors and would not let anyone else in.  At one point they started letting people in as others were leaving, if one person left, one got to go in, it was crazy and I was thankful that I had done my shopping in the morning.  Then to add to the madness, people followed my friend out to her car to get her cart, one person even loaded her groceries into her vehicle in return for getting her cart, insanity.  It is kind of funny what people will do for a good deal.  I have to say though that everyone was very polite and friendly, at least when I was there, I think it was getting a little tense when the line to get in started, but it was a much friendlier crowd then Black Friday and the wait was a lot longer.  As luck would have it, I have thought of twenty items I wish I would have  remembered to look for or buy when I was there, but I doubt anything will be left tomorrow and I certainly don't want to go back today.  The sad thing is, that Food Lion had more business today than it probably did in a month.

pictures

I, like many others love instagram. I love that I can change the colors/lighting on a photo. I am no photo snob or professional and don't pretend to be one, some snub instagram, but me, I love how it captures moments of life:

a winter walk

afternoon outside play

watching a show on the ipad

princess lily

a rainy afternoon

my little pack rat

the trees at spy rock

the diva

i have a thing for trees, can't wait for the green leaves to return

the top of spy rock

rhythm

Winter break is over with and we have found our rhythm.  I like schedules and routine and rhythm.
Mondays- everyone school, my long work day
Tuesday- Lily and I off, small group, grocery shopping
Wednesday- everyone school, volunteer at lance's school, pick up living room
Thursday- Lily and I's day of staying at home, bathroom cleaning, laundry, we pick up lance from school and go to the library for the late afternoon
Friday- everyone goes to school, my morning for Target or other errands, homemade pizza night and movie
Saturday- day off, no plans, change the sheets on the beds and any lingering laundry and the fish aquarium cleaning day
Sunday- family day, we usually have a Panera breakfast and do something outside or out-of-town
so now that I have mentioned our routine it is going to get thrown off, until then, I will enjoy my new found rhythm and routine which has helped me to keep up with up with the chores that can get overwhelming, i.e. laundry and meal planning.  I would like my routine to get thrown off because of a snow day, though I doubt that it going to happen anytime.
The only change I sometimes change is not grocery shopping on Tuesday but earlier since Tuesdays are senior citizen discount day and the WORST day to go to Kroger.  
So life is good and I enjoy our schedule, it works for us. I should note as part of my routine I try and be electronics, mainly phone free from 4-6 pm every day, though there have been slip ups, I have been doing pretty good and come 8 pm I don't even know where my phone is which is good, because I can get sucked into words with friends, pinterest, among many other apps and websites. 

ready to get back into the swing of things

So it's Tuesday and the kids have been home on winter break for almost 2.5 weeks, a crazy long time.  I have enjoyed spending all day with both kids, but the fighting between them has driven me a bit crazy.  I look forward to grocery shopping and errand shopping alone as well as a few morning to myself.  I will miss Lance, but hopefully we will have some snow days to enjoy in the near future, fingers crossed.  I have learned over the break that I am not cut out for homeschooling and I am thankful that Lance attends school, we just don't work well together and I am not disciplined enough to stay on top of him.  Then again, maybe if I was homeschooling him I would not also be teaching so I could more energy into his schooling, but then again, we don't work well together.  Tomorrow we start easing back into the busy school schedule, but I like a regular routine and look forward to the structure, I am geek like that.

the little things

It's the little things that are easy to do, but also the hardest.  The little things as in, the little chores that keep the house clean and neat so you don't have to have a trashed house that requires hours of cleaning.  I have noticed a cycle: the house get a little out of control from a day or two of not doing a few things, I get it back in control by cleaning for hours,  I vow I will maintain and I maintain for a few days, but then one evening I just don't feel like cleaning the entire kitchen (I just do the dishwasher items) or not folding the laundry as soon as it comes out of the dryer so it sits for a week in a basket, the kids clothes don't get put in the dirty clothes basket, and the list goes on, but the little things don't get done and before I know the house looks like a mess.  I realized this week that the simple things don't take very long and don't require a lot of energy and I need to just do them because one load of laundry is a heck of a lot easier to fold and put away then 4 or 5.  I can't figure out why though I put off the little things, why I don't remember that little things compound into big things that take a lot of time.  So this week I am focusing on taking the five minutes and picking up/cleaning up/folding/whatever and hopefully this will keep the house neater.   I think that sometimes I don't do the little things because I get tired of being the only one doing anything so I think I may leave something for Jeff to do, but since he doesn't do the little things or the big things it is a very dumb counter-productive thing to do.  So this week I hope to get the little things done and I asked Jeff to do the same, hopefully he will be on board because it will only work with his help, it will keep me from being resentful and irritated.  So week 1 of focusing on the little things begins today.

a real adult

I feel like a real adult now. 
I received some inheritance money from my grandmother, it was a nice chunk of change so we invested in our future.
I set up a Virginia 529- an education investment account for the kids college tuition.  It is only $5,000, but it is set up to withdraw $50 quarterly starting in January so hopefully we can have some money saved away for their education expenses when the time comes. I also hope that we can add more money than just $50 quarterly too!
I also set up a Roth IRA account, it too is only $5,000 (the max you can put in in a year), but I plan to add additional money into it so we can have money for retirement.  We have no money currently for retirement, I had cashed out my Virginia Retirement when I quite teaching since I didn't know if I would return to teaching and it was very little ($2,000), now I wish we had kept it, but at 27, retirement doesn't seem necessary.
And finally we have $15,000 in mutual funds that will hopefully grow in 5-10 years so we can have money for a car or house or what it is needed. 
It feels good having money set aside for the future, to have money in case the worst happens.
We also used some money we also used the money pay off our car so both of our vehicles are paid for, it feels good and I hope I won't have a car loan again (or at least one with interest).
I feel like a real adult now, a real responsible adult, a grown up.

true story

Friday night I was at my mother's house helping her prepare for her yard sale.  My mom and the kids had left to go grab some fast food for dinner so I had a few things I needed to get done while they were out so I was working as quickly as possible.  I finished the signs and I needed to superglue a knob onto a dresser.  I had a new bottle of superglue and I kept trying to open it but was having problems.  When I finally got it open it spilled out onto my hands.  I thought it was just two fingers on my left hand so I figured no big deal and went downstairs to glue the knob to the dresser.  I glued the knob down and then realized I also had superglue on my right hand.  Superglue had poured out of the bottle and I had superglued three fingers to the bottle.  Fortunately I had remembered from something I had seen on TV that acetone and ran to find some.  It was difficult opening my mother's bedroom door and cabinet with one completely nonworking hand (right hand was glued to superglue bottle) and one had which had two fingers superglued together, but I managed to find the acetone without gluing myself to anything else and headed downstairs.  I poured the acetone in a small plastic container and soaked my one hand in until my fingers came free. I felt confident that my other hand would be free just as easily, but pride comes before the fall.  I did not put the cap back on the superglue so when I put my hand in the acetone, the superglue in the bottle reacted with the acetone and my fingers did not come free.  I dipped a paper towel in fresh acetone and began working to free my fingers.  It took a lot longer to get the bottle and my fingers unstuck, I was almost near panic that I was stuck forever glued, but it finally came free.  My family did get a good laugh because they returned to see me trying to get the bottle off of my fingers, in hindsight I wish I would have taken a picture so I could remember my lesson to take my time.  I was in such a rush to get it done, but in the end it took longer to do then if I would have just been slow and methodical to begin with.  So yesterday I was sticking picking glue on my hands, and I had quite an exfoliating shower because the glue on my hands were quite rough when I was washing my face.  The good news is the glue worked on the dresser and everything cleaned up in the end.
My facebook status Friday night: 'bottle of acetone $0.99, bottle of superglue $1.99, staying calm after superglueing my fingers to the bottle, priceless."  so it wasn't entirely true since I did have a small moment of panic, but I did know what to do right after it happened and hopefully I won't do that again.

Labor Day

Labor Day, the unofficial last day of summer.
One of the more depressing days of the year.
I prefer Memorial Day, with the promise of summer, of new beginnings, with the daylight still increasing, with temperatures increasing, with vacations to countdown to, and things to look forward to.
Even though this summer was non-existent and far from spectacular, I still enjoyed it.
Summer seemed to fly by, but I guess that is what happens when you are in school every day for 7 weeks then vacation for one then back to work two weeks after that.
Even with Gram's passing and quite a few colds and illness, it wasn't horrible, I guess I just deal with things better when I can go lay in the sun at the pool.
Our house feels bigger in the summertime not all closed in and claustrophobic.
It is easier to get up in the morning since it isn't freezing cold and I prefer wearing less than more any day.

And then there is the beach, I love the beach and it just isn't the same when it is in the upper 70's compared to the upper 80's.

There are fun things to do in the fall and things I am looking forward to, I am just going to miss warm summer nights catching lightning bugs when it stays light until almost 8. I dread the days when darkness comes at 5

Looking back this summer, well at least August unlike a lot of the country was not very HOT, we didn't get a lot of pool use these last couple of weeks because it just wasn't hot enough.

But it is nice to be able to go outside with jackets and accessories.
And now that we are in the routine of school, life seems complicated, I miss summer already.
It doesn't help that this week the first week of unofficial fall will have highs in the upper 60's and lower 70's and be rainy so we will be banished to the house, but hopefully summer temperatures will return so we can have a proper goodbye.
I curse myself for complaining about the humidity yesterday, it was very warm and humid and come January 15th, I will long for that weather again.
So today we say good-bye to beach vacations, the pool, mosquitoes and gnats (yay!), playing outside until 8pm in the light, catching lightning bugs, weeknight adventures, the splashground/spraypark, hot and humid weather, warm early mornings spent on the porch, ceiling fans, the smell of rain and fresh cut grass, green leaves on the trees that provide much needed shade, fresh produce from the market, the constant roar of cicadas, and all the little things I take for granted, but miss terribly when they are gone.
I will look forward to pumpkins, apples, Halloween, hikes in the mountains with leaves of various shades, but I will look forward to next Memorial Day with the promise of an amazing summer ahead.
As I sit here on my porch, I am trying to take it all in so come February when I feel trapped inside I can have something to look forward. I can try and remember the purple and pink sky from the sun rising giving everything a pinkish tint (I have a hard time getting up early in the winter so I don't often see the sunrise like I do in summer). I want to remember the sound of the birds chatting in the trees and the cicadas droning on and on. The sound of distant cars driving pass by our neighborhood and occasionally down our street, it sounds different in the now then it will in a couple of hours when cars will be constantly coming and going. I will try and remember how the humid air seems thick, like you could swim or float through it and how the coolness is passing, not lingering all day.
Good-bye summer, don't stay gone forever.

mommy guilt

This morning, my one of two mornings during with the week with just Lily I spent organizing paperwork.
Not the best idea, but in the afternoon I get so sleepy and tired, NOT that I am napping, but my motivation is gone and I REALLY needed to get this done, so while Lily played quietly by herself I organized paperwork.
I feel so much better now that things have been organized and I know what bills need to be paid when, but I feel guilty for not hanging out with Lily for an hour this morning.
Which reminds me.
I feel guilty for putting Lily in 3 day a week preschool.
I feel guilty for working.
I feel guilty for not always being fully engaged because I was studying or cleaning or others things that are not really important like email.
Mommy guilt, hate it, but I don't know how to fix things.
I have to work to pay bills and I like it. So then I feel guilty because I like working. I feel guilty that staying at home with her every day is not enough.
I could go on, but then I just might feel worse.
Did my mom or grandmother have mommy guilt or is it just the current societal pressure?