those carpool moms

Fortunately today Lance rode the bus home so I didn't have any encounters with those annoying carpool moms and maybe dads, but yesterday I did have an encounter with the worst of the worst.  I really wish I could know what is going through some of these women's heads (men too, but it seems to be mostly women). What makes them so special that they can totally disregard the guidelines for carpool pickup?  I should note that I consider the rules really to be guidelines since no one obeys and no one enforces, kind of like the whole dog poop ordinance that no one obeys or enforces.  The sad thing is there isn't just one mom or dad, that get under my skin but quite a few, it is sad that there are so many special people who rules or guidelines or whatever don't apply.  There are three major guidelines breakers which come into play every morning and afternoon:
the Park-where-I-want-to
the Turn-around-where-I-want-to
the Stop-carpool-line-so-everyone-can-see-me
there is also the
I'm-going-to-jump-in-line which is annoying too but this is usually a result of the stop-carpool-line mom.
So to explain these individuals better you should understand the lay of the land and the "guidelines".

think I have a future as mapmaker?

 The school's elevation is below the road and the students for the carpool line wait at the bottom of the steps until their parents pull up to the top of the steps.  If you are looking at the school, the entrance to the neighborhood is on your left, the neighborhood leads to several streets, but it is basically a dead end, so most traffic is coming from the left into the neighborhood or school.  The parking lot is suppose to be for buses only as well as parking for staff, though that only applies to some people.

the friendly teacher assistant also has a bullhorn to call students up the stairs though maybe she should use it on some parents

At the top of the stairs are two friendly teacher assistant that loads students into their vehicles.  You pull up to the steps, the teacher assistant calls child (if necessary), opens door, loads kid, closes door, and you are one your way.  There is suppose to be no parking across the street, but of course there are several individuals who believe that guidelines/rules don't apply to them and why should they have to wait in any kind of line?
The Park-where-I-want-to:
One species of the Park-where-I-want-to pull up on the opposite side of the street, park, get out, cross the street, get their kid, cross back across the street, open the car doors to get back into their vehicle All of that of course impedes traffic because due to their parking, street crossing, and door opening, traffic can no longer go both way down the street and buses can't get through so Mr. or Mrs. Park-where-I-want-to stops the flow of traffic and slows everything down.
Another species of Park-where-I-want-to also don't feel like waiting in line so they turn around then park in front of the carpool line and then get out to get their kids.  They don't always impede traffic and stop carpool line, but they are just annoying, once again, they are individuals who feel that they should not have to wait.  These individuals making getting back into the flow of traffic difficult because many don't believe in turn signals and just dart out.
There is also a really rude species who will turn around, park in front of the carpool line, then back up so they are first in carpool line.  Jeff picks the kids up on Mondays and he has gone from being first in line to 2nd and I think once 3rd since he didn't pull up far enough.  The entitlement these people feel sickens me.
The last species of  Park-where-I-want-to are those that park in the parking lot. Some do find spaces, but some make their own and block others in or make navigating through the parking lot difficult.

those two cars are parked in a no parking area blocking other spaces and those yellow blocks are suppose to be buses

This is mildly annoying, it kind of gets under my skin how these individuals can't wait in line like the rest of us, but it really irritates me on Wednesday mornings when I can't find or get into a parking spot when I go into volunteer in the library because individuals can't use the carpool line.  For some reason they must park, most of these individuals aren't even walking their kids in, they are just pulling in I guess so their kids don't have to walk as far, though the distance seems to be the same.

The Turn-around-where-I-want-to:

According the handbook, drivers are suppose to go to the bottom of the hill to turn around.  Of course that 1/10 of a mile (6 house lengths really) is much too far for many people so they use the school parking lot to turn in around in which impedes buses, stops traffic as they wait to turn left into the parking lot, and most of the time they can't make it because it is narrow so they block traffic coming in and out of the parking lot as they do a 3 point turn.  Some individuals understand how the school parking lot is not an ideal place to turn around because so many people are coming and going so they go down two house lengths and do a 3 point turn, once again, blocking traffic.  

There also a bold species of  Turn-around-where-I-want-to.  I have seen some do a 3 point turn right at the steps in the morning to block traffic and jump in drop off line, but the boldest of them all are those who use other people's circular driveways to turn around in.  Some poor soul has a circular driveway right across the street from the school and I have seen many "fine folks" pull in and around to turn around.  I am floored by the gall, this one driveway goes right up to a front door.  Using the circular driveway is not nearly the same as turning around in some one's driveway where you maybe use a fourth or half of some one's driveway, this is pulling right up to the door and around, tacky, tacky.

The Stop-carpool-line-so-everyone-can-see-me

This is the most annoying and irritating of all carpool species.  This is the one I encountered yesterday and wish I was bold enough to say something, but it probably wouldn't make any difference since this mom is one of the "popular" moms.  So yesterday I got into carpool line about 5 minutes early, I was probably like 10 cars back,  so I was near the school driveway.  Mrs. Stop-carpool-line-so-everyone-can-see-me, jumped out of her Honda Odyssey mini van and grabbed a booster seat from the seat behind her and put it in the trunk.  My first thought was she was getting prepared and it would be a grab and go, but I held back a little more than usual just in case because I seen her as a Park-where-you-want, bypass the line, park in front of the carpool line, and get out of your vehicle in the past.  School ended and the kids started pouring out the school and the carpool line started moving.  I was about five vehicles away from the start of the carpool line aka the proper loading area when Mrs. Stop-carpool-line-so-everyone-can-see-me, turned her van off, got out, walked around to the opposite side, opened the door, stood beside the door while her flock loaded up, then count the kids (there were quite a few), realized that someone was missing, and walked to the sidewalk to look for missing kid.  

my arrow is ghetto so my me looks like wine

As she was walking around the car, the four cars in front of her were gone and the carpool line was stalled.  Fortunately, I had suspected that she might be a problem and had not pulled too close behind her so I was able to see the gap in the line and go around.  I pulled right up to the friendly teacher assistant,  got Lance, waited for him to buckle, and pulled away.  I saw in the rear view mirror the Stop-carpool-line mom was making sure everyone was buckled.  As I was pulling away I noticed Mrs. Stop-carpool-line-so-everyone-can-see-me, had successfully stalled the carpool line and made herself visible to all individuals in the immediate area.  

The I'm-going-to-jump-in-line

Though it didn't occur this time, I have seen in the past that the Stop-carpool-line species enable the I'm-going-to-jump-in-line species to jump because the further back you are from the Stop-carpooler the better view you have of traffic and the gap in the carpool line and the easier it is to jump in line.  

I never thought carpool would be so petty and ridiculous.  It is so sad that people are so self-entitled that they are only concerned with themselves and oblivious to anyone else.  I wish someone would say something to these individuals, but how do you tell Mrs. Stop-carpool-line-so-I-can-load-up-the-whole-neighborhood-before-I-reach-the-start-of-the-line a.k.a the PTO president to obey the rules?  

I wish we lived a bit closer to school so the bus ride wouldn't be so long, 40 minutes on the bus is so long considering we are home 10-15 minutes after school lets out even with the drama of carpool line.

So now that I got that off my chest maybe I can handle drop off line next week. Maybe, just maybe.

1 year ago

Yesterday was a strange day. One year ago, Charles passed away. It seems like such a long time ago, yet not long at all.
It seems like such a long time when I think of all the differences a year makes:
I finished graduate school, well the classes for graduate school, last year I was not even halfway done.
I got a job teaching at the community college.
Lance can really talk now and he can write his name and he is attending Kindergarten at the school Charles was the principal of for twenty-five years, I think it was 25.
Lance can ride a bike without training wheels and is starting to skateboard.
Lily is now a little girl and not a baby anymore, she has so much to say and has so much personality, he would love her even more.
We have moved store locations to downtown and business has picked up.
Gram finally let go and passed on as well, which is sad, but also a relief since she lived everyday in fear and anxiety.
I would want to tell him about seeing a shark at the beach, and the earthquake, he would have loved all the television coverage, and I would love to know what he thought of the budget/debt crisis in Washington, he would have an opinion.
Since he was in a nursing home I can pretend that he is still there and we just haven't gone to see him lately, but when the realization that he isn't there comes back it hurts, I feel hollow. Time doesn't heal wounds, it just puts space between you and the hurt. It has been one year, Charles seems farther away then he did six months ago and as time goes on he will seem further and further away and I just wish I could hold on a little more longer, bring him a little closer. So we have made it one year without him and sadly we will make it many more. We are all doing okay, even my mom, but I wish Charles was still here, though his body was weak, his heart seemed to have so much more living to do. I miss him and I desperately hope he knew how much I loved him.

disappointment

A month ago I responded to a job posting.  It was a work from job home with good pay and related to my degree and previous experience as a teacher.  The pay was pretty decent too.  I got a response right away with an evaluation assignment which I completed.  A few days later I was contacted to give two e-mail addresses of my references.  They contacted two references then I was contacted about setting up a phone interview.  The phone interview was postponed due to a large project the manager was working on and then postponed again when the same manager was ill.  I finally had the phone interview a week ago Monday and I thought it went fine.  The interviewer told me that she would I guess contact whoever she is suppose to and then I should hear something within a week or week and half.  Well today is a week and half and still nothing.  Bummer.
No news is never good news for me and I am disappointed.  I was really hoping this would work out.   I really want to help out our family financially so the burden would not all be on the shore, I wanted to pay down our debt, have money in savings, have a little extra to fix up the house and complete the projects that have been on hold for years.  This job seemed to be perfect, work from home with hours that I set doing something that I know and enjoy, uh, I am just so bummed.  In January, I thought I that keeping one of Lance's school friends would be perfect, though their were a few drawbacks, but it didn't work out and then this possibility came along and this is even better, so I hope that if this doesn't work out that means there is something better, but I can't imagine something better.  Sometimes I really want a billboard that clearly explains what is the right choice to make because the road signs are all so confusing. 

the ups and downs and life changes of a decade

A New Year always makes me look back at the previous year and see how life has changed, to figure out whether it is better or worse then the following
A New DECADE, makes me realize how much life has changed.

I remember New Year's Eve 10 years ago with Y2K, we waited in anticipation to see if the computer world really was going to crash and the world as we know it ending- it didn't, a tiny bit disappointing, though a similar change was going to happen a year and half later.

2000

it was an exciting year of changes
I graduated from college with a B.S. in Biology
I worked as a counselor at K-West (Kanakuk Kamps), one of the best places on Earth
I got married, the wedding was extremely special, my grandfather, Pop, walked me down the aisle which had been my dream since I was little, Jeff's best man Rob, was able to be there before him and his family left for China where they have been missionaries for the last 10 years, my dad's parents were able to attend and August 5th was the only day it didn't rain that summer!

2001

was good and bad
we opened Scene 3 Boardshop, our business in 2001 which was quite exciting

(our small group at the grand opening)

we celebrated my grandfather's 90th birthday, which was the last time my mom's side of the family was all together for a happy occasion

(the older woman on the left is my Great Aunt Clara, isn't she cute? my grandmother, Gram is center, and Pop is in the front to the right, he always had a smile)

in the spring, Jeff and I planned to go visit my dad's parents on a trip to Florida, unfortunately, my grandmother passed away a few weeks before our trip
then there was September 11th, I remember watching that second plane crash into the tower live on tv and how they didn't know what was happening, it was quite a scary day, the world as we knew it ended that day
2001 wasn't a bad year, but it ended badly, Pop who was visiting for Christmas fell and broke his hip, this was the beginning of the end

2002
I don't remember much, only that after a month in the hospital and a second surgery, Pop passed away
I was devastated, my dad died when I was eight and Pop was my father figure, he loved life, loved people, was generous, loving, and just a wonderful person
Losing him was extremely difficult, I was blessed with a month of seeing him everyday after his first hip surgery and before his second, but the loss still hurts
after Pop died, my Great Aunt Clara came and spent a month or two with Gram, helping her adjust to life alone,  Clara then passed away six months after Pop, my family seemed to be shrinking before my eyes
In the fall of 2002, I left my nanny job and started teaching high school biology, which was stressful, but I made some wonderful friends
Christy, Erica, Angela and I were the 4 Muskateers, who did almost everything together and had a blast, I am so thankful for their friendship and the good times we had

2003
still had the business, still taught, don't remember much, which isn't a bad thing, i think

2004
we bought our first house!  a little cape cod in a nice neighborhood that I still love 90% of the time

2005
got pregnant with Lance
began my 4th and final year of teaching high school biology
we also moved the store to a new location and saw the business grow
I coached the high school swim team with a friend, but unfortunately due to drama of one student resigned at the beginning of the season, which was probably a good thing since I was preggo

2006
Lance!  he changed our lives completely, it was a rough delivery and adjustment for me, but I can't imagine life without him

we also switched churches in the fall, it was a hard decision to make, but we know we made the best decision and love our one community

2007
life was getting a little tougher financially and it wasn't a good year for us in marriage happiness, but we survived
my sister got married and I got to be her matron of honor, it was fun to be in someone's wedding
I also got pregnant with Lily in the late fall

2008
one of the toughest years financially and for our marriage, but once again we survived
Lily arrived on the scene and though she is quite a handful and very opinionated, I love having a girl

Lance was diagnosed with a speech delay and despite weekly therapy did not make much progress, it was hard having two non-verbal children in the house
When Lily was 5 weeks old, I started a part-time assistant coaching position for a small college's swim team, it was stressful, but also a lot of fun and helped make those first couple of months fly by, despite the stress, I really enjoyed doing something outside of the home
Charles, my stepdad, kind of, moved to a nursing home due to his IBM disease decreasing his muscles in his arms and legs, this move has put a lot of stress on my mother and has been hard to see someone I care about fading away
also, Gram is healthy, but mentally she is gone and doesn't know who I am, it is hard to lose those you love

2009
the toughest year ever

I finished up the coaching position and unfortunately due to drama, things did not end as well as I would have liked, I did spend my last pay check on a DYSON vacuum, that months and months later I still LOVE, I also bought some FLOR, it was nice to blow my last paycheck on something fun and not bills
financially it has been extremely difficult, we had a hard time treading water and then the FIRE that destroyed the business put us on the bottom of the ocean

we re-opened in a new location, but people aren't spending money and times are extremely tough
on a positive, Lance started preschool and loves it, his vocabulary has increased tremendously  and I am so thankful for his teacher and the positive experience school has been so far
I also was accepted to graduate school and took my first class, I hope to get my masters and teach at the community college one day
2009 has been another tough year for our marriage, Jeff's coping mechanism is to hide or pretend there aren't problems and with lots of problems this year things have been rocky
Overall I am ready for 2009 to be over with

So this decade has had its ups and downs, I have changed dramatically as a person and I look forward to the future because I figure we can only go up from here

my son, the bully

This morning when I dropped Lance off at preschool his teacher stopped me and told me that she was having problems with Lance being aggressive towards the other children.  She thinks that he gets frustrated that he can't communicate verbally with them and so he lashes out.  I am so embarrassed that my kid is the bad one.  It is bad enough he has such a limited vocabulary, but then to add aggressive makes me sad.  He can be pretty mean to his sister, but I had hoped that he wasn't like that at school, but apparently his aggression is coming out at school too.  As if I don't already have enough stress in my life.  Can just 1 thing be easy, why does everything have to be so darn difficult?
Also, on the Lance front, we have been having potty training problems.  I thought we were good to go, then he got constipated and didn't want to go and now he keeps going in his pants and not even trying to make it to the bathroom, very frustrating and gross.So like everything in my life, it is two steps forward, one step back.

on a rant

Yesterday the cell phone bill arrived and whoever took my phone racked up almost 400 dollars in downloads, they were very busy in a very short amount of time. Four hundred dollars in downloads plus at least a hundred dollar phone is five hundred dollars someone stole and guess what is going to happen?

Nothing!

The phone company fortunately removed the charges and said to contact the police.
The police well they aren't going to do anything because it was probably a juvenile, the juvenile system is so messed up nothing will happen so they won't bother to even investigate situations like this because nothing will show for it and it wastes their time.

And we wonder what is wrong with kids today?

Here's another one.

Someone I know was charged for DUI twice, in two different locations so two different court systems. They basically got off on both. One was dropped for lack of evidence (though they confessed to drinking and smoking an illegal substance) and the second one was considered a first offense since the 1st was dropped. So they are getting off with barely a slap on the hand, what kind of lesson is they learning?

No wonder people steal, drive while under the influence, do whatever they want with no regard for other people, there isn't aren't any consequences.

It is really frustrating, we have had a rough year and have hardly gotten a break, we lacked insurance and our store burns down and we were left with very little, a consequence of bad judgement and timing. But, here are two examples of people being selfish and lacking judgement yet walking away free, sometimes life is just not fair.

Done ranting right now.

it's bad enough you steal my phone

but you answer it when I call? really?
two weeks ago, or was it 3, yikes, it was 3 weeks ago I lost my cell phone, well I thought I lost it.
it was practically dead when I lost it so I couldn't call it to find it.
I have searched all over the house, the store, my car, jeff's car, everywhere and anywhere and didn't couldn't find my phone. I really did think it was somewhere in the house, Lily is the queen of taking something and hiding it, I thought it was show it self any day now. Well I don't know what possessed me to do so but I called my number yesterday and I got someone.
Someone answered my cell phone!!!!!
I was so shocked I hung up.
And immediately they called back, I was even more stunned.
me "hello."
them "who is this?"
me "this is my cell phone, what are you doing with my phone?" i then recited to them my cell phone and told them once again, in case they didn't know that they were answering my phone and they shouldn't have it.
they of course hung up
I was floored, I thought for sure it was somewhere in the house and it would show up any day, one reason I hadn't suspended the service. Well I immediately when to my mom's house and suspended the service. I also found out that whoever has my phone had used 110 minutes and sent and received 30 text messages, so not a lot, I was expecting a whole lot more, if I was evil like that I would rack up the bill. I was tempted to call the number before I suspended the phone and tell them next time they use a cell phone that isn't there's they should keep the numbers in the contact and list and don't answer when someone familiar calls!!! Oh well, I am curious though whether they were surprised or not when the phone was unusable 15 minutes after my phone call. The crazy thing is the phone was practically dead when it was taken/found so they either found a charger from a friend or paid the thirty dollars for one, hope it was the latter.
So now I have given up the hope that I am going to get my phone back, bummer, it was a nice phone, I just got it in July, and now someone will probably just throw it away, since they would not do the decent thing and return it.
Part of me wonders if the kid who has stolen two ipods and two ipod car adaptors and who knows what else out of our car took it. How do I know it is a kid? Well a police officer came by the store this week and returned Jeff's old ipod, the one that was stole in April of 2007. A minor got in trouble for something, the police asked his mom if they could search his room, found all kinds of stuff including Jeff's ipod (it was engraved). According to the police, this kid and maybe some friends go around checking cars on a regular basis and if you forget to lock the car they go through and take anything valuable. This kid grabbed something from someone just a week ago, but he is getting to be quite the professional since he took our stuff in 2007 and didn't get caught until now. We asked the officer if my cell phone was found in his room and unfortunately it wasn't, well now we know why, he didn't have it, but that isn't to say he didn't take it, since he did take my ipod and that wasn't recovered. I don't know why he didn't want to keep something that had "princess" engraved in it?
So now I am out a cell phone and someone has mine, but fortunately no one can use my phone right now.
Just one question: how much stuff am I going to have deal with? life is just too crazy, I am ready for the easy life right about now.

exposed

and the waiting game has begun. . .
Right before dinner last night the phone rang, it was my friend whose child comes to play when she is in town and her son had been over at our house Friday morning. she apologized and said that her son had exposed my children to chicken pox. At first I wasn't concerned at all, I get my kids vaccinated so they should be fine, and back in the day we all got it. But then she explained that she too vaccinates, but the vaccine isn't 100% effective especially for children who haven't gotten the booster shot at age 5, and you can still get the chicken pox even with the vaccine, usually a milder form. She went onto explain that most children get vaccinated around a year or 15 months, so Lily might not have gotten her vaccination, the news kept getting better and better- note heavy sarcasm! She finished off the "good news" with the best of them all, children are contagious 3 days before they show symptoms and until the last sore scabs over which could be 2-4 weeks!! 2-4 weeks, I don't want to be stuck inside and away from people for 2-4 weeks!!!!! First thing this morning I called the doctor to see if my kids, Lily especially had been vaccinated since I am a slacker mom and don't have my vaccination card up-to-date, if I even know where it is. So I sit and wait, waiting for the doctor to call me back and waiting to see if this weekend will bring the chicken pox to our home, I sure hope not, but if so, at least my kids will have had it and we won't have to worry about getting it again, at least if it still works that way these days.

we're celebrities

though i am not quite sure i want to be one.







http://www.newsadvance.com/lna/news/local/article/jefferson_business_center_store_owners_sift_through_rubble/17009/

http://www.newsadvance.com/lna/news/local/article/shopping_center_on_fire_on_u.s._221/16996/



i could add more, but i have to separate fighting children, everything is just un-real.

slacker mommy

I don't know if I am going to make it through potty training.
First off we have a very busy schedule and we aren't home all day most days.
Secondly, I am not a patient focused person which was evident this morning. I have two kids, it is hard to stay focused on just one.
Since we were spending the day at home I asked Lance if he wanted to wear his Thomas underwear. He said yes so I reminded him that pee and poo goes in the potty and not the pants. I should mention that he has gone in the potty before, worn underwear before and I thought we would have success this morning, but I was wrong. Every five minutes or so I would ask him if he needed to go. He would say no, but twice he did sit on the potty, but nothing happened. We went upstairs, with potty to play. I reminded him every five minutes or so, even came up with a song. He had been in underwear for a long time and I was going to try and get him to sit on the potty, but then I got sidetracked and the next thing I know Lance is walking a little funny. He had peed and then to my horror I realized he had pooped too. After cleaning up the floor and Lance I asked him once again what he wanted to wear. He chose underwear again and I reminded him that he needed to go in the potty. I figured I had a bit of time since he just went, but I was mistaken. He was playing on his bed then he got down and walked to the door. He held onto the door frame, lifted his leg slightly and peed, and boy did he ever. I was so shocked that it was hard to contain my giggles. AHHHH! How do parents potty train their kids? So Lance went right back to diapers and I feel like Lance will never be potty trained, he did so good last week, what happened? If constant vigilance is the key to potty training, Lance is going to go to Kindergarten in diapers. Part of me feels this whole process would be easier if he could talk. Parenthood can be so frustrating and messy at times. I really need a light at the end of the tunnel in so many areas in my life right now, potty training included. I feel like such a failure, can't something just go easy for once?

bitter-sweet

Bitter-Sweet
this describes a situation we are in right now though bitter might be to strong a word, i am not bitter more like disappointed, but there is also a sweet side too. i am not suppose to say and know anything, but i don't think anyone who isn't suppose to know will read and find out so i am safe, i hope. okay, too much rambling. first off, there is a Christian organization (church and other entities) that owns the property where my church and three other organizations meet and use for church, classes, etc. We have been blessed with not having to pay any rent for the space, which is good because there isn't modern heating and cooling, it is a horrible location, and several other reasons that I can't think of right now. This Christian organization owns a lot of property and a business is interested in the spot that we currently occupy (and probably additional space too). This business offered a good price for the spot (fair market value), the groups (my church included) offered a price to stay, well the money was better from the business and we are getting the boot. Why I am disappointed, for this Christian organization, money is more important than supporting other Christians. It frustrates me because our church supports their students, we also are trying to make the surrounding neighborhoods better by loving them, helping out where we can, doing service projects for neighbors, etc. We want to make the area a better place and not just occupy space in the area. We also can bring traffic to nearby business which need traffic because there are always people coming and going every day of the week because one of the four groups is meeting in the space every day. So I am disappointed that money is more important then loving people, but there is a very sweet side to the story and I may be glad that this Christian organization cares more about money in the long run. Because of getting the boot, a new home needs to be found and a location has been found, but there are spaces that need to be filled to pay the rent for this spot. One space is perfect for Jeff's shop. With money being non-existent, we can't really afford to stay in the high rent space that we are in and want to move to somewhere cheaper, but most cheaper places are not in great locations and not looked promising. This space is the same size as what we have now plus it has some warehouse space where Jeff could put ramps and have events, his own mini-skatepark! I haven't seen the space yet, I will this morning, but it already sounds perfect. Because the space isn't finished he will be able to kind of custom fit it with the builder so it will be just the way he wants it without a lot of work on his part. Did I mention he would get more space for half the price? Also, it would be in the same building as a coffee shop, a dance studio, and our church. It is also centrally located, easy to get to off of the expressway, and easier to find. Though I haven't seen it, it sounds like it has everything both of us wants! I am excited to see the space and hope it works out, so it is sweet and in a way I am glad that the Christian organization loved money more, it may help us out a lot, we will see. So there you have it, my bitter-sweet tale, that in the long run will hopefully be all sweet, but I am still disappointed when money is more important than making a difference.

can i just get a break?

and i am not talking about a break from lance, though I wish he would nap today.
a break at life, you know, things work out easily and not always so complicated.
for christmas we got lance a little tikes kitchen because i was tired of lance dragging out all of my pots, pans, utensils, etc. out of the kitchen, I can never find what I need.
well the kitchen is nice, but the oven door will not shut, the fridge door is cracked and the butter dish is broken, three things busted right out of the box. I called the number to request parts, faxed in receipt and waited for replacement parts. they came in today and guess what-
you got it
the parts we received are for a different kitchen set not the one we have and as luck would have it, I can't find the UPC code for the kitchen set we do have so calling little tikes might not be very productive. grrr, give me a break, please!

brain cells and hair loss

Those oh so famous "theys" out there may be right about one thing: women lose brain cells after having children. I don't feel as smart as I use to be and yesterday was a perfect case in point.
Yesterday I got up, took a shower while the kids were still a sleep (they slept in, too bad I was wide awake and not catching up on missed sleep), put in my contacts and got ready for the day. The kids and I went to the bank, then to the library for storytime. I remember specifically noticing at the library that I just couldn't see very well. I thought maybe my eyes were goopy due to allergies or the cold weather and didn't think much of it. After storytime we headed to Dollar General to get some things we needed for the "stockings with care" for church, grabbed a bite to eat, and headed to the college for the afternoon swim practice. At swim I once again stopped and noticed that I really could not see that well. I was starting to think that maybe my eyesight was getting worse which was upsetting because I can't afford new contacts and a trip to the eye doctor right now. After practice we headed home and I tried getting the kids down for nap. Lily fell asleep first and I picked up a book to try and rest while lance was winding down for nap. While I was reading I noticed the words were blurry and hard to read. All morning I kept rubbing my forehead, blinking a lot and trying to figure out why I couldn't see, seven hours of blurry vision had transpired that day. I was starting to get a bit concerned that something was wrong and that is when the light bulb in my brain went off. My right eye has a different prescription then my left and at that moment I considered the possibility that maybe I had my contacts in the wrong eyes. I took out the left contact and looked for the little dot that is on the right to see if my blurry vision was due to a case of the mommy brain. Sure enough, there was a small dot on the contact that was in my left eye, my contacts were in the wrong eyes. I went into the bathroom switched out my contacts and it was like magic, I could see. Right after I switched contacts I realized how bad my vision had been all morning and then I started to wonder how long had my contacts been switched, I think there have been a few times over the last few days when I felt like I couldn't see that well. I don't know how long my contacts had been switched, but I can't believe how long, at least seven hours, I went not being able to see well and not realizing that things could be better. If I hadn't lost all those brain cells having kids I might be able to draw a great metaphorical parallel to life, but now I feel like such a dope going around all day not being able to see and not realizing that there is something I could have done to fix the problem.
Now onto hair loss. I must whine for a second. I hate post-partum hair loss. It is so GROSS!!!! I feel like I am not going to have any hair left. My shower is clogged up, my sink probably will be soon, all surfaces, clothing, etc, seem to be covered in hair, I don't understand how I can lose so much when I don't think I have all that much to start with. I know that it will slow down and it probably just seems so extreme now because I don't lose much when pregnant, but alright already, stop. I hate it. To make matters worse, with my schedule and two kids I don't have the time to do the cleaning I prefer to do and the hair loss just makes the not being able to clean part seem worse, I wish I could hire a cleaning lady, heck I wish I had disposable income.

how bad are things?

really bad!
last year in the month of october, the store brought in $12,000.
this year: $5,000.
we had $7,000 less dollars to pay bills and get ready for Christmas.
and "they" say that this Christmas season is going to be bad, now the "theys" of the world were wrong about childbirth will "they" be wrong about the economy too?
kind of ironic, i was listening to a podcast from Andy Stanley about worry, and I found what I worry about, our store supporting us financially, now if i can just let go, but it is so hard.
it is a yucky, rainy, cold day and the forecast for life doesn't look much better. I know that things will get better, can we just hold out until they do?

Overdue

I am officially overdue and after today's doctor's appointment there is a mandatory eviction notice given to Lily. If she doesn't come by next Tuesday she is going to be evicted. I am nervous and excited all at the same time. I didn't want to be induced, but the doctor thought it was for the best especially if she is close to 8 pounds. The possibility of going natural without the epidural doesn't seem likely with induction especially if the contractions are rough. I just pray that I won't end up with a c-section, that scares me the most. The positives in this situation, my doctor will be back in town to do the induction, I will have her before my 30th birthday (which I wanted), I won't have to wait any longer, childcare can be arranged beforehand and Jeff can get things organized at the shop before her arrival so things will be less stressful for everyone. So I have a week to wait and I have noticed the world discriminates against us late ones. For example, the pregnancy ticker on my homepage gives development information for week 8 of pregnancy, and says "the baby should be here by now," thanks for the support for those of us who might still be hanging in there. Two weekly developmental e-mails I have received these last nine months haven't discussed pregnancy since week 38, once again, no love for us still hanging in there at 40 weeks, they talk about life with baby, well what about life still waiting? Then there are the constant phone calls and e-mails we get from people wondering if we have had the baby yet, have we called, no? then no baby! trust me, we will be so excited to see her we will let you know. I know that everyone who calls/e-mails means well, but with a daily reminder of lateness doesn't make things any easier especially when it is coming from people who have early babies and don't know what it is like to come close or exceed their due dates. How many people really know what it is like to go past 40 weeks and have been enduring 3-4 weeks of people calling and asking, have you had the baby yet? any progress? when are you going to have the baby? well at least now, we can say, next week! I am thankful that I feel good and hanging in there, not miserable, sleeping pretty well except for the constant full bladder, but I can't complain. I am still enjoying my last days with Lance and I am thankful for each day we have together especially with the cooler weather we have been having.

broke it down

I hate Walmart, but we really needed groceries and we are really short on money for the next few days so I broke down and went there. Walmart makes me gag, literally. Just when I think that things in the whole gagging/dry heaving/feeling ill part of pregnancy may be over I go to Walmart and discover I am still not over it. I am at 16 weeks, aren't I suppose to be loving food and life, not gagging in the produce section or while trying to put my groceries on the conveyor belt. I don't know why, it sounds really weird, but bagged salad makes me gag and really grosses me out. Salads in general can make me ill, but I can eat a plain green salad which doesn't make to much sense. Okay, must stop typing about salad, I feel the gag reflex going off in the back of my throat. It is so weird!
Even though one of the worst aspects of pregnancy hasn't fully left, the best part has started- MOVEMENT! Every now and then I feel a little thump and it just excites me, I want more, and I laugh because I know in a couple of months I will wish for less movement if this baby will be anything like Lance, but until then I will enjoy every little thump.
Yesterday I made the mistake of requesting Jeff to do five tasks. I made a list for him and explained that it would be nice if he could get them done by the end of the week. Obviously he was insulted by my list and requested that I: clean the kitchen (we had small group Sunday so it was a mess), the dining room, the living room, vacuum the house (difficult because lance hates the vacuum and screams and wants to be held while I vacuum), and put the outside toys on the porch. I was a put out by his requests since they were very labor intensive compared to the tasks I asked of him which were: transfer money to our account, order fridge door handle, order faucet part, install handle, and install faucet. 3 of the 5 of tasks I requested of him didn't involve labor, just his computer and/or telephone. Also, I gave him a week to complete eveything, he gave me a day. Funny thing is, he only completed 2 of the 5 yesterday and the faucet part won't arrive until March 10th so it will be awhile before that task is finished. I made him a list because I am tired of all of the home improvement tasks that have been put off and put off (the fridge door handle has been broken for about 3 years). As time has gone on the list of what needs to be done around here keeps getting longer and longer, so I have decided that I am going to try and nicely give him a week to do 1 or 2 things to make our home nicer and fixed. I get frustrated because there is lots of stuff that needs to be done and I can't do it and instead of getting frustrated I am trying to tackle them one at a time, or should I say have him tackle them one at a time. I hope that this will help with the resentment I sometimes feel because he has limited free time (like all of us) and he chooses to play and do things for himself instead of tasks that would help me or fix our home, not all, but a lot of my free time goes into cleaning and making the house nice. Also so if we ever get to sell our house there won't be so much work to be done beforehand especially with two little ones running around soon.

there should be a rule

No one should get any gray hairs until at least age 35.
Last night when washing my hands I noticed in the mirror a very shiny, wild hair strand.
Upon closer examination I noticed it was gray. I tried to pull it out, but I couldn't, I even enlisted Jeff's help, but no such luck. I shouldn't have gray hair, I am not even 30 yet, and this must be a new one because I just had my hair colored a little over a month ago. The sad thing is, it was quite thick and makes me wish all of my hair was that thick, I hate my limp fine hair sometimes.
While I am on the subject of hair, I thought your hair stopped falling out when you were pregnant (let me rephrase, you didn't lose as much while you are pregnant). Now I know you lose some, but I sure haven't noticed a reduction in hair loss yet, I seem to have lots of the negatives of pregnancy, but none of the positives yet: my hair is still falling out as usual, those that were deflated from nursing have not been inflated yet, my skin is not glowing (if anything extremely itchy), and I have no cute maternity clothes to show off my bump (but hopefully Tuesday we will purchase a few items from Gap, the only clothes that I have found that fit). While thinking about pregnancy, the gagging and dry heaving is getting worse and not better, I only have a week left of the first trimester and things are getting worse and not better, I want to be able to enjoy this pregnancy and not moan and groan the whole time.
Enough whining, there is finally a tv show that isn't a repeat on tonight! Yeah! Lost after almost a year will be back on, finally something other than reality or Nintendo ( i think i am almost over it), now if I can just stay awake to watch it.

nintendo obssession

Lance is obsessed with the Nintendo. My sister had our old Nintendo at her apartment and for something to do on a cold day we borrowed it for a few days. We had no idea that Lance would be so enthralled with it. All he wants to do is play, he grabs a controller and thinks he is playing and he is also content just to watch one of us play, he prefers Mario Brothers to anything else and he even knows how to turn on and off the Nintendo, it is too funny. Jeff and I last night tried to beat Super Mario Brothers 3, but we couldn't get past level 3, it was harder than we remembered, but I was amazed at how much I remember from childhood, such as hidden spots and what enemies to expect. I don't know what Lance is going to do when we return it in a few days. Lance even got my mom addicted when she came over for dinner last night, he sat her down and made her play the original Super Mario Brothers, it was fun to watch because she got really into it. We have let Lance play a few times, but he just knows how to jump. Jeff and I had joked about getting some kind of game system for these cold winter evening with no good TV (thanks to the writers' strike), but I don't think the new game systems are as much fun as the older ones, or maybe I am just old school. I wish we had an old Atari to play with, I could go for some Pitfall or Pole Position.
On a totally different note I am so frustrated I have no clothes to wear, nothing fits, not even my maternity clothes! I went by Old Navy this morning, but their slim selection looked unappealing and everything that I like at Gap is over fifty dollars and since we don't plan on having anymore I don't know what to do. I am amazed at how few maternity clothes I managed with while pregnant with Lance- 5 pairs of pants, and one of them I could only wear the last couple of months, and of those 5 pairs, only 2 fit now and with a toddler they are filthy at the end of the day so I am definitely going to have to get some more. Even my tops don't fit, they aren't wide enough in the shoulders and so they feel weird and ride up, I didn't know that my shoulders had widen that much. After trying on a lot of my clothes I am left with 4 shirts, 2 sweaters (that I won't need much longer), 2 skirts, and 2 pairs of pant, not enough to survive unless I do laundry every 3 days which is a non-option. I am frustrated because I seem to never be pregnant during the right times. When I was pregnant before we didn't have an Old Navy, last year when not pregnant we got one with a large maternity section, this summer they reduced their section to half a section with very limited options and I am sure with my luck, next year when not pregnant they will expand again. I have a tough time finding clothes because I am small to begin with, but I get huge (lance was 8.5 pounds) and no one I know is close to my size and been preggo with clothes to borrow and a lot clothes available don't fit (Target's maternity stuff is too big). On a similar complaining note: my friend who had a baby last month said she was able to fit into her pre-pregnancy clothes 2 weeks after having her baby, 2 weeks! AHHHH! I am skinny and I appeared to lose my weight fast, but I couldn't wear my pre-preggo clothes until 7 months after Lance and there are some clothes that I got rid of because I never did get them to fit again. I just can't believe someone could wear clothes 2 weeks later, wow!

the neighborhood is getting worse

I am so ready to move. First it was someone going into my car and stealing my Ipod accessories and now it a drunk guy in our driveway in the middle of the night, but there is more. I was outside talking to our next door neighbor this week and she said she wanted to warn me that she found a used condom out in the street by her driveway. She said she was use to seeing things like that on the street our driveway is on, but not our street (we live on the corner, side street leads to ghetto apartments, front street to dead end, nice neighborhood). While we were chatting I noticed a beer can in the middle of the yard, our yard tends to be the ghetto's trash can. Then for kicks and giggles I read the crime report for our city for the month of December and discovered there was a cocaine possession arrest on the side street and the block listed was the same one our house is on, lovely! Then the icing on the cake was last night's incident. Jeff was having some trouble sleeping so he came downstairs to lay down on the couch. A little before 3 he noticed the driveway motion sensor light came on so he got up and went into the kitchen to see what set it off. He saw a man standing in our driveway, he appeared to be drunk because he was wavering back and forth, but he was still in our driveway! (note: the sidewalk is on the opposite side of the street so this wasn't just someone wandering off of the sidewalk innocently, but then again, maybe he was really drunk and couldn't find the sidewalk) Finally the guy left and wandered down and across the street. He tried opening a door to an SUV and set off the alarm 3 houses down from us (this woke me up-it was really loud and lasted for about 10 minutes). Jeff says after setting off the alarm the guy wandered into the yard of the house we was in front of, talked on a cell phone, triggered the car alarm again multiple times and walked back up the street the way he must have come from. I asked Jeff why he didn't call the police, he claims he wasn't thinking straight, I wish he would have, it would have at least given him some more drama to watch. So after all of this I am ready to move to a different neighborhood, one that doesn't connect to anywhere else, maybe a dead end street or out in the county. I know that all neighborhoods have problems, but with the drugs coming through (and the pot dealer 10 houses down), the speeding cars that fly down the road, our nightly visitors and the trash from people who just throw it out their windows, not to mention the dog poop we step in regularly despite the fact we don't own a dog I want another house and I would like something a little safer for my kids.

the one time i don't lock my car

okay, so it really is the second time
but the point is, i am neurotic about locking my car and the one time (second time) i don't someone steals something out of my car
grrrrrrr!
fortunately this time they didn't get my ipod which was in car, but they did get my car charger and fm transmitter
I always lock my car, i do, but last night when coming home from the grocery store I didn't, I meant to as soon as I got in the house, but I got distracted because lance was pulling out the groceries and trying to open up the goldfish bag
I am so frustrated that someone out there feels entitled to taking whatever they feel like from my car and angry that there is NOTHING I CAN DO!!!
Whoever stole both our ipods, charger, and transmitter back in april got away with it and who knows maybe they came back for round two
the crazy thing is, our next door neighbor use to leave his keys, wallet, ipod, phone, everything in his car and he never got anything taken, but then his driveway isn't on the same street as ours which leads to the ghetto apartments, we live in a nice, desirable neighborhood, the only problem is that the road our driveway is on is a shortcut to a shady apartment complex and unfortunately some shady people pass through.
so since this is the second time something has been taken out of car i am ready to move
granted ever since lance could really get around I have wanted to move, but now I really want to move onto greener pastures or at least a house with a garage.
Okay, I must think positively, they weren't smart enough to find my ipod and jeff got so fed up that he fixed the security light to make sure that it would go off if someone was in our driveway so they can't come back for round 3!
so my question is: why can't a girl get a little grace? i messed up, i didn't lock the car one time in a hundred and something gets taken, no wonder i am a perfectionist