2 hours

I can't believe that Lance's doctor's appointment took two hours! The longest part was just waiting for the nurse to come in and give Lance his vaccinations. Because it took so long at the doctor, we were late getting to the shop, but it didn't matter since no one has come in! It is so frustrating because four days a week we come to the shop for two hours and we rarely get any customers. It can be a pain to come over at noon and then I usually end of staying here later than two because Lance is taking a nap. I would rather be at home, but saying something would contradict my latest decision I need to make, whether to take on a few hours of prep work at Magnolia. I would like to go do prep work two or three days a week , but I don't know what to do with Lance and if I wanted to stay at home, why am I trying to work? Before Lance I had a major problem with being over scheduled. I do not want to get myself committed to too many things and not have time to enjoy Lance. I have been writing down the pros and cons to working and I was leading more to working, but today I am leaning towards saying no. I wish it wasn't so confusing. Right now I am thinking about not doing it because I need time to rest and I am already busy and not home a lot.

happy 4 months

WOW! Lance is four months old today, time went by really slowly at first but now it is really flying by. This week also flew by and I have gotten nothing down. Lance and I have been opening the store this week. Being at the store makes it difficult for me to get anything done at home because nap time has been spent here and not at home where the laundry needs to be folded, the house swept and vacuumed, and all kinds of other household chores. Lance did sleep pretty good last night, he got up at 1:30 and then not again until 6:45 which is awesome since he had been waking every 2 hours this past week. It is amazing how four to five hours of continuous sleep makes the day go by so much better. Lance and I went by school yesterday to see everyone since it was open house/registration. It was weird seeing my classroom looking similar, but different. Going back did not make me wish I was there nor make me feel like I was missing out. It really confirmed that I was doing the right thing and that life as I know it was not going to end. I kind of got some closure seeing everyone ready and my classroom with someone else in it. I don't feel the impeding doom of the end of summer. I am so use to enjoying summer but always having the start of school hanging over me and knowing that my routine was going to be over soon, but now that I see everyone ready and that it has already started I guess I finally realize that I don't have to go back. Wahoo, I am free! Well actually to some I am pretty trapped with a four month old, but life with him seems so much freer to me. It is all about perspective I guess.

when am i going to wake up

I keep expecting my routine or lack of one to be over and that I will have to return to a life of stress and working. I keep thinking I am going to wake up and my dream stay at home life will be over with. I have even had nightmares about teaching and school. I usually get these dreams about this time of year. It still hasn't sunken in yet that I am not going back to teaching and that I don't have to deal with all of that stress and mess. Teaching has made me a very bitter person towards the profession, the school I taught at, and the administration. It is sad that my teaching experience was not a positive one and that I let this bitterness and resentment into my life. I love high school kids and biology, but just not all of the other junk that comes with teaching. All summer long I had this feeling that everything would come to an end like it usually did when August came around and now that everyone I know is back it feels wierd not having to make preparations to go back to school too. I miss my teaching friends and my good students, but not enough to put myself through the stress of going back to work. On a positive note, I now enjoy my time with Lance at home even more because I had a job that I didn't love and being with him is so much better. I will miss football games, the prom, my teacher friends, the moments when I stopped being a teacher and put my guard down, the kids in a non-classroom environment, snow days, and most of all the excitement of the last days of school before summer break. Thinking about the positives make me sad, but my list of negatives is so much longer and I can find ways to spend time with high schoolers without being in the classroom. Besides, my partner in crime, Christy, moved back home and without her, I think the good times would be few and far between. We had some good times didn't we Christy? Okay, I am getting sad, let me focus on the parents- okay I feel better now.

lance missed the memo

Lance missed the memo that yesterday was my birthday and he should treat his mommy like a queen. I had a nice day except for my screaming, cranky baby. We went out to dinner and Jeff had to keep taking him outside to calm him down. I don't know what is going on with him. He didn't sleep well Sunday night nor nap that much on Monday. I also thought that maybe Lance was saving his gift for last night, like a full night of sleep which he gave his daddy on his birthday a week ago, but no, Lance was up every two hours last night and didn't want to sleep in his bed. Though Lance was hard to deal with, I had a great day. I didn't do much, but for my birthday I got my own digital camera. It is nothing fancy, but I am excited that I dont' have to share with Jeff and I can always have it with me. I also am getting a new watch and a wallet. The highlight of the evening was my ice cream cake, it was delicious. Last year I really wanted an ice cream cake and I had one, but due to morning sickness, I was grossed out by ice cream and only managed to consume at most two bites of the cake. It was a very nice birthday celebration and I thank my friends and family who made it a good one, and this is a big deal from the girl who usually doesn't have that great of birthdays!

our week in pics part II

the beach house



jeff on the beach



lunch with the old roomies




the beach



dinner on the riverfront in wilmington

going home!

This morning we will be packing up and heading back home. I should be asleep right now, but someone decided that six am was a better time to get up then his usual seven/eight. Everyone else is sleeping and we are just playing upstairs waiting for time to pass so we can finish packing and wake up Jeff. I am sad to be going home, it is nice being around my mom and Jeff all the time. I love sitting out on the upper deck before the sun gets hot and listen to the ocean. I will miss the beach, but I'll just have to look forward to next year's trip. Next year, Lance will be 15 months old, what a different experience the beach will be next year. So as I sit, I realize how grateful I am for my family, my husband, friends old and new and of course my beautiful sweet boy. Other than lack of sleep, I am so blessed.

our week at the beach in pictures

dinner on the river in downtown wilmington



walking on the north end of the island



hanging out during a sunset walk




family picture at sunset



hanging out with daddy

beach baby

Our week at the beach is almost over with. We have had a really good week and I am sorry that it is almost over with. Lance has changed so much, not only does he babble, but he also loves to stick out his tongue. It amazes me how much he has changed in a week! This week has been very good for Jeff. He has been spending a lot of time with Lance and really knows what it is like to be with him 24 hours a day. He made a comment at dinner the other night, "taking care of a baby is a 24 hour job." It is funny that it took over 3 months for him to realize this. He has never spent so much uninterrupted time with him before this week, even on his days off Jeff would usually go for a bike ride or skateboarding for several hours and he had never been with Lance for a whole day. I am very grateful that Lance loves the beach, as soon as we go out and lay him in his sun cabana he falls asleep and he enjoys sitting in the shallow water kicking his legs. I had been worried that he would hate the sand and water and I would have to spend all my time inside, but that hasn't been the case. I have been able to go swimming and collect sharks teeth, Jeff has been able to surf and bike ride, it has been a very enjoyable trip. Lance hasn't slept as much as he usually does, but he can catch up next week when it is only him and I. Since today is the last day, I better go and enjoy it while I can.

our first full beach day

Today has been a very busy first full day at the beach and a very exciting one at that. We got up early and went into Wilmington to attend a church and meet up with my old college roommates. The church service was awesome and I really enjoyed it. Afterwards we went to lunch and it was nice hanging out with my old friends again. The most exciting aspect of the day was a milestone for Lance. Lance decided that he was tired of only crying and being silent, now he is quite the conversationalist, especially if you understands cooing. Now that we got him started he hasn't stopped. It is really quite cute and sometimes a bit girly especially when he hits the high pitches. He has been making noises occasionally for awhile now, but not "talking" like he is now. It is very fun to talk with him because he waits until I am done talking before he talks, it is like a real conversation, unfortunately I have no idea what he is really saying. We hung out on the beach for a few hours this afternoon. Lance didn't care too much for the water at first, but he dug a little hole for him to sit in and he didn't seem to mind. He also liked to watch the waves come in and out. So one day has come to an end and fortunately we have 5 more.

happy anniversary

Happy Anniversay Jeff. It has been six years today and I am thankful that you love me and put up with me.
Today is also the first day of our beach vacation and hopefully Lance will like the beach as much as Jeff and I. Unfortunately Jeff is starting this trip not too happy with me. For months now I have wanted another pair of Teva Flip Flops. I asked Jeff to buy them for me as a gift for bearing his child (a joke between us). He never got around to it and I even tried to go purchase some myself but the outdoor store was out. I stopped bugging Jeff about the flip flops and just figured I would purchase them when we went to the beach. The other day I went to check my e-mail on the computer and I noticed that the page was open to the Reef website. I thought that was strange, but I didn't think much of it. On Thursday while I was making lunch Jeff came into the kitchen and said that he had a confession to make. He said he was very sorry, and he had been looking at every online store and the reef website and he was unable to find my flip flops. I laughed and told him that the reason he couldn't find them was because they weren't reefs, but tevas. He then blushed when he realized that he just blabbed that he was trying to buy them for me as a gift. We both laughed at how mixed up he had gotten and how easy it would have been for him to check the brand considering that my old shoes were on the front porch. Well last night Jeff surprised me with a anniversary present. It was a box and I was curious as to how he got ahold of a pair of tevas. The box said Chacos on it and I looked confused, Jeff then said, "it is not what you think." I processed that as it wasn't a pair of Chacos, but a pair of tevas. I opened the box and there was a pair of turqouise Chacos. I looked up at Jeff confused and without thinking said, "this isn't what I want." Sometimes I wish I could just hold my tongue and that I had the ability to lie. Unfortunately, I announced my true feelings and told him that I didn't wamt them and I was upset that he would spend money on more expensive shoes that I didn't want. From past gift mistakes, I have learned that I have to be very specific on what I would like to receive, that is, drop major hints! Jeff was hurt and my friend Christy said I should have been happy about the gift, but I don't know how to get excited about something that I know is expensive and that I don't need (money is tight right now). I apoligized to Jeff and tried to explain why I didn't want the nicer, better pair of sandals. It was then that Jeff confessed he got them for me because he would like to have a pair. I then told him to exchange the sandals for a pair that would fit him, he then told me that he didn't want a pair and he had plenty of shoes and several that he never wears. So I started out our sixth wedding anniversary by not accepting and liking my anniversary gift, and that is why I am so thankful that not only that Jeff loves me, but he puts up with me.