Tuesday, May 15, 2012

free time, what do I do with that

The class I taught is over, my other job's work project is complete, the kids are still in school, my online summer class I am taking hasn't started yet, and I have time, lots of it in fact and I don't know what to do with myself.  It is weird not having something I need to do, well there is always laundry and household chores, but not having a project to complete, or papers to grade, or something hanging over my head is really weird, I don't know what to do.
I have been using my free time outside improving our yard, but I can only do so much in a day and it has been raining a lot.
Last Monday I convinced Jeff to help me dig up one of the flower beds that was in desperate need of TLC, after three hours or digging and pulling and two trips of the garden supply store the flower bed looks good, but it is not complete, we still need another bag of mulch. 
This morning I tackled another flower bed all by myself and I think I am not going to be able to move tomorrow, it was hard work, digging, and pulling.  My fingers ache just typing.  Crab grass (what I didn't want) had gotten all in the monkey grass (what I wanted), tree of heaven saplings were coming up along side the trunks of the azaleas and ivy was trying to invade here and there.  I got everything cleared out and tomorrow hopefully I can get some mulch put down and an azalea replaced.  I love the flower beds in our yard, but I also hate them because they are so much work, I really shouldn't say that since we have lived in our house for 8 years and this is only the second year I have actually tried to make the beds look nice, like really tried. 
But here I sit, Lance will be home in an hour, Lily is taking a nap, my body is exhausted and sore from 3 hours of yard work, the kitchen is clean, the beds are made, the living room spotless, and I don't know what to do.  It is kind of nice, but kind of note, I have learned that I like being busy, I get more done when busy. 
All this has lead me to the realization that I place my worth as a person in what I do,  if I am not doing something I am not worth anything.  I can't just sit around and relax, I feel like I have to be doing something, but yet I want to sit and do nothing. 
Since I have nothing I have to do, I guess I will organize something. . .

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