Tuesday, October 21, 2008

i am noticing a theme here

there have been two themes to my life for the last year now:
1- i don't have any clothes that seem to fit
first it was maternity clothes, my clothes from lance didn't fit and neither did my regular clothes, then I got some maternity clothes and they fit until the end when I got so big I outgrew my maternity clothes and I should note I bought the bare essentials, not a large selection of clothing. Now my maternity clothes are too big, but my regular clothes are too small. I do have two pairs of pants that I bought after having lance that fit, but most of my transitional pieces from lance are summer clothes and not appropriate for the cooler weather we have, so once again, I have nothing to wear. It has been nine weeks and I am no where close to being able to wear my regular clothes and though it took me 6-8 months to be able to fit into some things after lance, I wonder if my bones will get smaller again this time or just stay the way they are. I hate not knowing what to expect and I tired of getting by on the bare minimum. I feel so frumpy with clothes that don't fit well and wearing the same thing over and over and over again. I hate having such a small selection of clothing because I hate doing laundry and I seem to have to wash things regularly. While pregnant I felt like I was washing my clothes every 5 days, it was crazy, I will wear clothing over again if they are clean, but with a two year old and a baby I rarely make it through a day without being noticeably covered in something usually food and spit up which smells and requires a washing. So being nine weeks postpartum, feeling frumpy, wanting new clothes, wishing I could wear my old ones, and wishing I had money to buy something new, I am sick of not having anything to wear, I mean something that I feel good in, I realize that not having anything to wear is nothing new for me.
2- we don't have any money
I haven't really written much about it because it seems that is all I ever seem to do anymore is whine about how we don't have any money and every few months I think it can't get any worse and it does. I am tired of having money issues, well not having any and I am talking, not enough to pay the bills every month. The lack of money has been a theme of my life this past year. I have learned a lot though. I have learned that needs and wants are two different things. I have learned that second-hand is just as nice as first-hand sometimes, especially for outdoor toys and books. I love hand-me-downs (especially for Lily, they are in much better shape then the boy hand-me-downs). That not having the latest baby gadget or must have item doesn't matter especially if it is a baby item since they grow out of them so fast and no one else cares what you have. That meal planning and sticking to the plan really cuts down on our grocery bill. That material things don't bring happiness, then again neither does poverty. That some of the happiest people are those who don't buy into commercialism and having the latest and greatest. So I hope that one day things will improve for us financially and I won't lose sight of the rough times we have had and that if one day God blesses us with more money that we won't just spend more and we will give more and save more, but obviously we aren't ready for that since we are still broke.

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