Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Lance and I now have a new evening ritual, we wait at the window watching for daddy to come home from work. We talk about the cars and trucks we see.
When Jeff does get home Lance and him play peek-a-boo, both ducking down and popping back up (which they are doing above, Lance is waiting for Jeff to pop up from behind the bushes). It is fun to watch Lance light up when he sees Jeff.
When Jeff does walk in Lance immediately wants to get him and does the happy dance (stomping in place), in the picture above, he is trying to figure out how to get down off the bench while happy dancing.
It amazes me how much joy this little guy brings up. Like all parents, I want to do what is best and I have found figuring out what is best is hard. This morning I read a blog about toxins in household cleaners. I have been trying to figure out what is best for us, but it isn't easy. The internet is great because it brings us so much information, but at the same time, it brings us SO MUCH INFORMATION! On almost every topic you can find lots of information to support both sides of an argument. I want to do what is best, but I am having a hard time figuring out what that is. The mommy is at a war with the scientist. I found a site about the dangers of household cleaners, my reaction: I am poisoning me and my family, I must rid myself of everything, and buy better. I have been considering switching to more of the method brand cleaners, but I wonder, is it really better, or will it just make me feel better? Also, microbiology in college, opened my eyes to the things that we don't see, and I want things to be clean, kill the bad, but at the same time, I know you can over clean too and kill the good. The scientist in me looked at the data given for the harmful reproductive effects of household cleaners, one study said it caused harm in tadpoles. The scientist in me didn't really think that this study had much bearing on me, amphibians and humans are very different creatures, but the mommy said, what if this data is true? It is so hard these days to do what is right. Jeff said if I was really worried that we would go to a whole foods and stock up on product there, but given that it would be more expensive then what I usually get, am I being wise with the small amount of money that I do have? And where does faith come in? I turned out okay, women have normal healthy babies all the time and they don't avoid chemicals and plastics. Lance should be evidence that you can turn out okay, especially since I was a biology teacher and handled real chemicals for labs and demonstrations, not to mention since I coached swimming I was around high levels of chlorine. He is okay right? He doesn't talk yet, but he is cute and healthy and Einstein didn't either from what I hear (but maybe I got that info from the internet!). So where does faith come in? I have faith in a God who is the giver of life and He is bigger than household chemicals that could cause harm to reproductive health. I do want to honor Him with my finances and take care of this Earth that He created, but how do I do that?
I guess this is just a case of me thinking way to hard on something that is so small in comparison to a God who is so BIG.