Friday, September 28, 2007

this is a lot harder on me than it is on him

I didn't think this was going to be such a big deal to me, I thought it was going to be a big deal to him. I thought I would feel liberated and free, instead I feel like something is missing. I never imagined that I would be weaning at 17 months, I didn't even think I was going to make it through the first month, let alone past a year. A year was my goal and I surpassed it. I don't know how much is me being upset because it is an end to babyness or how much is hormones. Last night I was miserable and all I have to say is, I don't know how women wean when they babies consume more than 2 meager feedings, ouch! Jeff unfortunately provides no sympathy or compassion, he is all happy we are really over the baby phase, but we will see in a couple of days. The past two days Lance has gotten up at 6 and since we aren't nursing he hasn't been going back to sleep and we have been getting up earlier than we would like. So hopefully the hormones will subside, I will stop hurting, and will rejoice in my new freedom, until then I am wallowing in self-pity.
Today Lance has found a hiding place between the cabinet in the dining room and the wall, he can scoot so you can't seem him from some angles. He also is on the verge of talking. He talks a whole lots, conversations and conversations, unfortunately we don't know what he is talking about. Jeff is expecting for any day now for Lance to just start talking in sentences, I try to explain it won't happen like that, but some days I even believe it. I also have a dentist appointment this morning, not fun, I hate the dentist, the scraping, ahhhh, and I am also paranoid they are going to find something wrong. My mom just had gum surgery and that makes me shudder to think one day I might need that done too, why are teeth so hard to take are of? Before their were dentists weren't teeth able to stand the test of time? I am still trying to organize and rearrange the playroom. We have way too much stuff and no storage. I hate to get rid of some things because we might need it one day, but until then where do I store it? Jeff went camping on Sunday and his camping gear needs a home since I filled the closet it was all in with other stuff. Some days I wish money really did grow on trees. I could really use an "easy" button about now.

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