Wednesday, September 05, 2007

i am actually glad i'm not at the beach

So we didn't get to go to the beach this week, but I am not bummed about it anymore. I am always trying to tell myself that everything happens for a reason and if something doesn't work out it isn't necessarily a bad thing, well that definitely holds true for the beach trip. I am so thankful that we didn't go because I feel gross and tired and I would not be enjoying the beach. Also, Lance has not been sleeping well and a total grump so I don't think it would have been challenging with him and far from home.
Today Lance and I went to the shop to work for a few hours so Jeff could stay at his morning job longer and I don't know how I feel about our new schedule. We head to the shop at naptime and trying to get ready to go with a grumpy baby is difficult when all he really wants to do is go to bed. I also had to get some things done before I left because I knew I would be tired and lazy when I got home which is true. I am very tired and not motivated to do anything. It was disappointing to be on a roll with cleaning and organizing and have to pack up and leave. I know I need to be thankful, but I so enjoy being at home and staying there and not have to drag Lance everywhere, maybe one day we can have a schedule and actually stay at home.
I wish there was a real "easy" button that we could use. I am stressed and very discouraged because we are behind in bills and have no money. I hate being in debt and not able to put much money into savings. It always seems when money is tight there are tons of bills that need to be paid and my want list gets longer and longer. I am tired of treading water and wish we had a lifesaver to help us keep our head above water.

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