Friday, July 27, 2007

third percentile, preparations, and one good message

Yesterday we went to the doctor for Lance's 15 month check-up. Lance only gained 2 ounces in the last three months and 3/4 of an inch in height. So little man is in the third percentile for height and weight and he is 3 ounces from weighing 20 pounds. He seems bigger than back in April, but I guess he isn't. Poor Lance had to get four vaccinations yesterday which may have accounted for his midnight screaming session. The doctor said that everything looked good and and none of my concerns were anything to be worried about. He also said that once he was weaned completely he would probably gain more weight, but weaning him could be mean a rough four or five days. I don't know if I am ready for that.
Today we are trying to get ready to go to the beach tomorrow for a week. I am so excited, but it is very difficult to try and get things done when Lance comes behind me and undoes everything I do. I really should be packing clothes right now instead of on the computer, but my priorties are out of whack and I enjoy the downtime, I will pay for it later.
I subscribe to Andy Stanley's podcasts on itunes and I LOVE the last message in the Breakaway series, it is real. It made me realize that we are aren't going to grow and change as long as we are lying to ourselves. I am such a truth junkie, I try and be truthful to others and I am bothered when people lie to me. In the message Andy Stanley mentioned that when we lie people don't believe us which confirmed something that I have always felt. I get upset when someone lies to me because I feel that they are insulting my intelligence, I think, "do they think I am so stupid that I don't know that they are lying and that they think I am going to believe what they are saying." Listening to this message and hearing that statement about how people don't believe other people when they lie makes me feel like I am not crazy, see I never understand why people just let other people lie and never say anything about it, I wonder, am I the only person not buying into what they have just said, but I realize that no one believes people when they lie, they just don't say anything. I take some of that back, the people telling the lie begin to believe it. I don't even know if my ramblings make any sense, but the point being, people lie, and I am not the only one who doesn't buy it, yeah, I am that self-centered that I thought I was the only one who could see through people. That still doesn't make sense. I never understand why no one tries to point out other people's lies, but now I know why, it wouldn't matter because the one lying believes what they are saying, but no one else does and there is no point to trying to point to the truth. For example, I was talking awhile back to a not so favorite person in my life. She was telling me that she was "so excited" that she was having a boy, I got the feeling she was lying and kind of pressed her on the issue and asked her a few questions that made her go on and on about how she was so excited about having a boy, yet the answers to her questions made it sound as though she really had wanted a girl. After the conversation my mom told me that I shouldn't be bothered that this person had lied to me and that she could tell that what this person was saying wasn't true, but there was no use getting out the truth because this person believed her lie at that moment. Once again, rambling. In a year or two when I look back at this, I wonder if I will be able to understand my point, do I even have one? The bottom line (I think I have said this before) in order to grow we have to be real with ourselves because as long as we are lying to ourselves we aren't going to move any closer to our Father who longs for us to just be real. Andy Stanley's messages are so good, I would move to Georgia just so I could go to his church and I don't like big churches, until then I will just watch and listen online.
Must go pack while Lance is napping. 1 one more day till the beach!

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