Monday, January 08, 2007
Yesterday I was talking with Jeff about our marriage, see we seem to sometimes be two people who are taking care of a baby. I miss the "two of us." There are "two of us" in my life but usually two of us refers to Lance and I not Jeff and I. We don't have a lot of time off so when Jeff is off he does something with Lance or by himself and I can't remember the last time just Jeff and I did something. I know it is important to get away from Lance, but I don't like to burden others with Lance, I feel that Lance is our responsibility and I shouldn't burden others with him, besides when I am away I am usually thinking about him the whole time anyways. It is also not easy to get away since Lance refuses to take a bottle which I would have never guessed to be the case 8 months ago when we had such nursing troubles. Anyways, I haven't felt very loved or close to Jeff, but things might be turning around. Without me asking Jeff suggested that he take off every other Saturday so we can have a weekend together, which is HUGE because he has worked weekends for as long as I have known him. Also, he made the bed this morning which use to be something he did to show me that he loved me, so I was so excited to see a made bed when I got home this afternoon. It is amazing how something as simple as a made bed can make me feel so happy. So for the first time in awhile I really feel loved because I know that Jeff took time to do something that I like and he thinks is pointless.