Monday, November 22, 2010

it's been awhile

It's been a long time since I have had any free time, been so busy with work, school work, kids, making ornaments, just doing life. 
I can't believe it is almost Thanksgiving and fall has come and almost gone, life is going at a warp speed and I would like things to slow down a bit, it hopefully will in a few weeks when my classes are done, I only have 1 class next semester, thank goodness, I have been swamped with school since May.  I will probably have a busy summer of grad classes and then a full fall semester and then hopefully I will be done.
Though I am really enjoying grad school and not sure I want it to be over with.  I enjoy studying and learning, I enjoying talking and being around different people, being something more than mommy.  Though I do feel guilty because I am not always engaged with my children because I am working on work or schoolwork and though I am there, I am not always there.
It has been really hard to find balance, balancing being a mother, but also a person.  It is frustrating because life is not what I want it to be or even how I imagined it.  I didn't think that we would be struggling financially and I would be working from home as well as going to school and I naively thought I would be the stereotypical 50's housewife who was in domestic bliss.  If I am going to be honest, I am not satisfied with domestic bliss and want something more, just how to balance it all is tough.

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