the green eyed monster

what did I do before. . .
there was the internet, itunes, and podcasts?
before the internet- i probably got a lot more done around the house, or maybe i just watched more tv
before itunes- i guess maybe i actually bought CDs, but only listened to a few songs that i really liked
and before podcasts- i don't know? paid attention more in church?

I love technology, most of the time.

I subscribe to quite a few podcasts of churches around U.S. that I enjoy and just now I finished listening to a podcast from the series "It Came From Within" from Andy Stanley of North Point Community Church and it was so good, it was about jealousy, and it really opened my eyes up to the hidden jealousy and envy that I have in my life. It was a mega butt kicking for me. The past few years we have been struggling with the business and we try and do the right thing in every situations (and this is rare in business! do you know how many people lie and do sketchy things?). Anyways, things have been hard and it seems like the world is against us and we never get a break and it never seems to get easier. I fall very easily into envy, being envious of those people I know who make more money then us by doing the bare minimum, people who have money to spend of frivolous things that they won't even want in a few months, and basically just people who I know who make dumb decisions and yet they always seem to land on their feet in the end. So after listening to the message I realized I have a lot of stuff to deal with and hopefully it will make me a more loving person especially for those people in my life that just rub me the wrong way. So not only am I battling the ivy that is trying to take over my house, but the green eyed monster that is trying to take over my heart. I realize that life isn't fair, and I if I am honest I don't want it to be (fair would mean everyone would have equal which would probably mean less of most things) and in the end I will be more content with my situation and thankful for what I do have, which is really a lot.