of Kindergarten, I still feel a bit lost with just Lily and no Lance.
The afternoons are quieter and I am not nearly as productive, which is weird because I don't have Lance constantly at me.
So we have made it through 6 days of school.
Watching Lance walk down the stairs and into school every morning pulls at my heart, I think it would be easier if he rode the bus, I think.
Though I am enjoying my time with just Lily or by myself, and I am happy that Lance is enjoying school, I am sad that we have started school, he will be in school for the next 13 years, that is a long time.
It is crazy to think that a month ago we were headed down to the beach, I had just finished graduate school and the kids had just finished up a week at preschool summer camp. Kindergarten and preschool were on the horizon and I had no clue what I was going to do with my "extra" time. I had no clue that I would get a teaching job and once again juggling it all, I thought once graduate school was done I would have a couple of months to a year before I would start back at work.
Teaching has been interesting. The students are very subdued and it makes it tough because I don't know whether they are completely lost, completely bored, or a combination of both. Also, everything that I try and plan seems to go down in flames. For example, on Monday I prepared a PowerPoint presentation to review the chapter we had almost finished. I got to class tried to turn on the projector and the projector was dead, I ended up having to switch to lecturing with the chalkboard, my graphics couldn't compare to what was on my presentation. I just hope that everything is fixed for tomorrow because organic molecules and just a chalkboard is going to me a long class period of drawing lots of C's, H's, and O's.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
one week of Kindergarten
and one week of class.
One week down, many more to come.
This week has been a crazy week. Lance started school, I went back to teaching, we had an earthquake, we felt aftershocks, we had a bad storm that knocked out our power for several hours, and now there is a hurricane approaching the coast, we are fortunately inland enough to not be impacted by the storm, well as long as it continues the way they expect.
What is kind of ironic is how taking Lance to school is getting harder and not necessarily easier.
I guess dropping him off and watching him walk down the stairs and down the sidewalk all by himself is a daily reminder that he is growing up and getting older. He heads down and doesn't look back at all, which makes me kind of sad, I guess I kind of feel as though he has already forgotten about me. I still am still in a bit of shock that my baby is a big boy going to school all day every day. Even though he drove me a little crazy and I could not always get things done in the afternoon, I miss my little buddy. I miss our afternoons that we had alone together, I need to figure out a way for us to do things just the two of us on the weekends because I miss our mornings that we use to spend just the two of us.
So we have survived a week, one more week left of summer vacation for Lily and then we will hopefully be finding out groove and schedule.It is amazing how life changes so quickly, two weeks ago I was wondering what in the heck I was going to do on my free mornings, my free mornings are non-existent now, but it is all good. I am just in awe how time flies whether or not you are having fun.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
the first time was a novelty
but when an earthquake wakes me up at 1 am, I am over it.
I know that earthquakes are common, regular occurrences in other parts of the world, but they don't happen here, well they didn't before Tuesday.
So the big question around here in the last few days is, did you feel the earthquake and what did you think it was?
Well I felt it and I thought my house was about to explode.
I was upstairs working on schoolwork and the house started to shake and I heard a loud rumbling. My first thought was that the washing machine was off balance so I ran downstairs to stop it before it woke up Lily. By the time I got to the bottom of the steps, I realized that I wasn't doing laundry. My next thought was that the hot water heater or the furnace underneath the house was about to explode. While pondering what the heck was going on, mere seconds, Lily woke up and I ran into her room to get her. It was really loud in her room due to her old windows with storm windows were rattling like crazy. I took Lily into the living room and I tried to figure out whether it was just our house shaking or the whole world.
As soon at is stopped I called Jeff, he didn't answer so I called back, and I finally got him after the third attempt. I planned to ask him if the whole world was shaking or just our house, but by the third attempt I realized that it was all around, not just our house. Jeff and I both discovered on facebook that everyone was posting about the earthquake and I was a bit terrified to find friends in Wilmington, NC, Charlotte, NC, Washington D.C., and all over the East Coast was posting about the earthquake. For a minute or two I thought it was the end of the world, I didn't know that an earthquake could be felt by such a large area. I also did realize how LOUD earthquakes were, it was so strange and surreal.
Supposedly there have been additional smaller aftershocks since the big one, but I hadn't felt any until last night.
I went to bed at 10:30, woke up briefly when Jeff came to bed, and then was startled awake at 1 am when the house was shaking. This incident was not as long as the first earthquake, unless I slept through it, and it wasn't as loud as the the first one, but it was still scary. So the novelty of earthquakes is gone.
Supposedly this earthquake is a once-in-a-lifetime event and though it is really scary and I say I don't want to experience it again, I kind of do, in the daytime though. Now every time I hear the rumble of a big truck or plane I pause thinking it is another earthquake. I never thought that I would experience an earthquake in Virginia of all places, especially with an approaching hurricane, maybe it really is the end of the world, or maybe not.
I know that earthquakes are common, regular occurrences in other parts of the world, but they don't happen here, well they didn't before Tuesday.
So the big question around here in the last few days is, did you feel the earthquake and what did you think it was?
Well I felt it and I thought my house was about to explode.
I was upstairs working on schoolwork and the house started to shake and I heard a loud rumbling. My first thought was that the washing machine was off balance so I ran downstairs to stop it before it woke up Lily. By the time I got to the bottom of the steps, I realized that I wasn't doing laundry. My next thought was that the hot water heater or the furnace underneath the house was about to explode. While pondering what the heck was going on, mere seconds, Lily woke up and I ran into her room to get her. It was really loud in her room due to her old windows with storm windows were rattling like crazy. I took Lily into the living room and I tried to figure out whether it was just our house shaking or the whole world.
As soon at is stopped I called Jeff, he didn't answer so I called back, and I finally got him after the third attempt. I planned to ask him if the whole world was shaking or just our house, but by the third attempt I realized that it was all around, not just our house. Jeff and I both discovered on facebook that everyone was posting about the earthquake and I was a bit terrified to find friends in Wilmington, NC, Charlotte, NC, Washington D.C., and all over the East Coast was posting about the earthquake. For a minute or two I thought it was the end of the world, I didn't know that an earthquake could be felt by such a large area. I also did realize how LOUD earthquakes were, it was so strange and surreal.
Supposedly there have been additional smaller aftershocks since the big one, but I hadn't felt any until last night.
I went to bed at 10:30, woke up briefly when Jeff came to bed, and then was startled awake at 1 am when the house was shaking. This incident was not as long as the first earthquake, unless I slept through it, and it wasn't as loud as the the first one, but it was still scary. So the novelty of earthquakes is gone.
Supposedly this earthquake is a once-in-a-lifetime event and though it is really scary and I say I don't want to experience it again, I kind of do, in the daytime though. Now every time I hear the rumble of a big truck or plane I pause thinking it is another earthquake. I never thought that I would experience an earthquake in Virginia of all places, especially with an approaching hurricane, maybe it really is the end of the world, or maybe not.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
3 years ago today
about now a baby girl was born
and life has never been the same since.
Happy Birthday Lilybean!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
hi ho! hi ho! it's back to work I go
life is so chaotic, only I would get hired to teach 5 days before classes start with no orientation or planning time.
So I finished my application for the community college last week. I got a call yesterday asking when I could start. I explained that I had completed the coursework for my masters just not completed my comprehensive exams, I was told that they would check with HR and call me back. I was not expecting a call back. I got a call back and got a meeting for this afternoon, which I assumed was a job interview.
I was so excited, a possible start teaching at the community college, what I really want to do.
I quickly learned at the meeting/interview that I was basically already hired, I had the classes, I had the experience, we just had to figure out what could work in my schedule.
So we figured something out and I start on Monday.
I am so excited, but yet terrified.
By Monday I have to get materials, read the textbook (that I don't have), plan lectures, make a syllabus, and figure out what in the heck I am doing.
Everything is happening so quickly.
I don't even know where my classroom is or how to long into the programs to check roster or how to copy anything, I know nothing.
This is similar to how I began my first teaching job, just thrown in with no experience and I quickly learned to keep from drowning, barely.
So I am in complete shock that I will be really starting a job on Monday.
and everything is so perfect.
The class is from 11 to 11:50 MWF, so Lily will be in school, so I won't be missing out on her time. I am going to be able to stay at home, yet go back to work.
Now the pay is probably nothing since it is only 1 class, but my foot is in the door, and it is something.
So come Monday, both Lance and I are starting school, I can't believe it.
So I finished my application for the community college last week. I got a call yesterday asking when I could start. I explained that I had completed the coursework for my masters just not completed my comprehensive exams, I was told that they would check with HR and call me back. I was not expecting a call back. I got a call back and got a meeting for this afternoon, which I assumed was a job interview.
I was so excited, a possible start teaching at the community college, what I really want to do.
I quickly learned at the meeting/interview that I was basically already hired, I had the classes, I had the experience, we just had to figure out what could work in my schedule.
So we figured something out and I start on Monday.
I am so excited, but yet terrified.
By Monday I have to get materials, read the textbook (that I don't have), plan lectures, make a syllabus, and figure out what in the heck I am doing.
Everything is happening so quickly.
I don't even know where my classroom is or how to long into the programs to check roster or how to copy anything, I know nothing.
This is similar to how I began my first teaching job, just thrown in with no experience and I quickly learned to keep from drowning, barely.
So I am in complete shock that I will be really starting a job on Monday.
and everything is so perfect.
The class is from 11 to 11:50 MWF, so Lily will be in school, so I won't be missing out on her time. I am going to be able to stay at home, yet go back to work.
Now the pay is probably nothing since it is only 1 class, but my foot is in the door, and it is something.
So come Monday, both Lance and I are starting school, I can't believe it.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
grocery rants
So today is grocery day. So as I sit and plan my meals for what is left of the week and figure out what I have and don't have I am reminded by latest grocery pet peeve. I should start off by saying I am no extreme couponer, but I do love store coupons and in the past I would combine them with manufacture coupons and would save quite a bit, but I was dismayed last week when I discovered that Kroger will no longer allow store coupons to be combined with manufacture coupons. Bummer, big bummer! If I would have known this I would have gone to Walmart. When I got home from the store I compared an old store coupon with a new store coupon and sure enough there is a new little line on the back of the coupon that states only one coupon per item, or something like that, basically cannot be combined, bummer!
Which leads me to my next rant: why is it that grocery store shopping has to be so darn complicated? I just want to go to one store and get everything I need.
Walmart is cheaper, especially when you take the time to price match, but I prefer the deli of Kroger and they don't always carry certain products or they do, but not consistently. Kroger is nicer than Walmart, but more expensive unless it is on sale and/or with a coupon, but they do have a gas discount for shopping there which has come in handy especially in times of high gas prices. Food Lion, well I am not familiar with the store set-up and they always are so slow, but they do have a certain products the other two don't carry. On some weeks I end up having to go to three different grocery stores, Walmart for the bulk of what I need, Kroger for the sale/coupon items if I can't price match, and Food Lion for a type of bread and a salad dressing that my kids use instead of ketchup, silly, just silly. So bottom line I am disappointed that Kroger no longer allows me to use a manufacture and a store coupon for an item and as a result I will be do most of my shopping back at Walmart.
Which leads me to my next rant: why is it that grocery store shopping has to be so darn complicated? I just want to go to one store and get everything I need.
Walmart is cheaper, especially when you take the time to price match, but I prefer the deli of Kroger and they don't always carry certain products or they do, but not consistently. Kroger is nicer than Walmart, but more expensive unless it is on sale and/or with a coupon, but they do have a gas discount for shopping there which has come in handy especially in times of high gas prices. Food Lion, well I am not familiar with the store set-up and they always are so slow, but they do have a certain products the other two don't carry. On some weeks I end up having to go to three different grocery stores, Walmart for the bulk of what I need, Kroger for the sale/coupon items if I can't price match, and Food Lion for a type of bread and a salad dressing that my kids use instead of ketchup, silly, just silly. So bottom line I am disappointed that Kroger no longer allows me to use a manufacture and a store coupon for an item and as a result I will be do most of my shopping back at Walmart.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
birthday weekend
So we kicked off our family birthday week with Jeff's birthday. We went to a local pizza place for dinner:
we found tiramusi at the grocery for a cake:
and cupcakes for the kids, since they aren't a fan of coffee and since we thought that if each kid had their own candle to blow out that Jeff could blow out his own candles, but we were wrong.
As soon as we finished singing happy birthday Lance leaned over and blew out Jeff's candles despite me yelling "NO" when I realized what he was about to do. We continued the celebration on Sunday by driving to a nearby ski resort and hiking around on their nature trails. The views were incredible:
We did have a bit of a scare. We took a trail down to an overlook and then took a perimeter trail around in hopes of connecting to another trail to make a loop. The initial trail had other hikers on it, but the perimeter trail was deserted and was a little creepy especially since the trail map mentioned that several trails were prime bobcat habitat and to beware of bears. At some point on our journey I noticed there was what I suspected, bobcat scat (poop) which put me a little on edge. Then we got quite a scare, so much so that both Jeff and I got goose bumps. The perimeter trail runs below a mountain ridge and at one point we came up on a turkey vulture and scared it so it left its roost to fly away. We heard the flap of the wings and the movement up ahead of us and though I can't describe it, it scared us, we thought it was a bear or bobcat. Jeff and I both started making a lot of noise in hopes of scaring it away and the kids of course started screaming and crying. I guess what made it scary was we were enclosed in thick brush, well actually rhododendron shrubs, so we really couldn't see our surroundings at the time and heard something very large move right in front of us. After the incident we were ready to get off the trail that seemed endless. We did something stupid in normal situations, we left the trail once we got out of the thick brush, and headed up to the top of the mountain. Normally this isn't smart, but since we knew all the houses of the resort and roads were above us we knew that the only way to get back to the car was up. Despite not seeing any houses when we decided to start out on our own we spotted some right away and walked back to the car. Turns out we were almost to the trail that would have taken us back to the car if we just would have kept going, but we were too freaked out and tired by that point, it was starting to look like it might rain or storm.
We got back to the car and drove to a city nearby and had dinner at Chipotle and went shopping at an outdoor store. We then headed home and just missed two severe thunderstorms and got home just as it was starting to rain.
So we had yet another breath-taking animal encounter, fortunately this time though we weren't in any real danger.
So despite being terrified and feeling lost, we had fun, I am so thankful that the kids are old enough to go hiking and enjoy being outside adventure, I am looking forward to even more adventures to come.
we found tiramusi at the grocery for a cake:
and cupcakes for the kids, since they aren't a fan of coffee and since we thought that if each kid had their own candle to blow out that Jeff could blow out his own candles, but we were wrong.
As soon as we finished singing happy birthday Lance leaned over and blew out Jeff's candles despite me yelling "NO" when I realized what he was about to do. We continued the celebration on Sunday by driving to a nearby ski resort and hiking around on their nature trails. The views were incredible:
We did have a bit of a scare. We took a trail down to an overlook and then took a perimeter trail around in hopes of connecting to another trail to make a loop. The initial trail had other hikers on it, but the perimeter trail was deserted and was a little creepy especially since the trail map mentioned that several trails were prime bobcat habitat and to beware of bears. At some point on our journey I noticed there was what I suspected, bobcat scat (poop) which put me a little on edge. Then we got quite a scare, so much so that both Jeff and I got goose bumps. The perimeter trail runs below a mountain ridge and at one point we came up on a turkey vulture and scared it so it left its roost to fly away. We heard the flap of the wings and the movement up ahead of us and though I can't describe it, it scared us, we thought it was a bear or bobcat. Jeff and I both started making a lot of noise in hopes of scaring it away and the kids of course started screaming and crying. I guess what made it scary was we were enclosed in thick brush, well actually rhododendron shrubs, so we really couldn't see our surroundings at the time and heard something very large move right in front of us. After the incident we were ready to get off the trail that seemed endless. We did something stupid in normal situations, we left the trail once we got out of the thick brush, and headed up to the top of the mountain. Normally this isn't smart, but since we knew all the houses of the resort and roads were above us we knew that the only way to get back to the car was up. Despite not seeing any houses when we decided to start out on our own we spotted some right away and walked back to the car. Turns out we were almost to the trail that would have taken us back to the car if we just would have kept going, but we were too freaked out and tired by that point, it was starting to look like it might rain or storm.
We got back to the car and drove to a city nearby and had dinner at Chipotle and went shopping at an outdoor store. We then headed home and just missed two severe thunderstorms and got home just as it was starting to rain.
So we had yet another breath-taking animal encounter, fortunately this time though we weren't in any real danger.
So despite being terrified and feeling lost, we had fun, I am so thankful that the kids are old enough to go hiking and enjoy being outside adventure, I am looking forward to even more adventures to come.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
organizing
So this week I have finally been able to do all the things I have been wanting to do all summer but could not since I was in class and studying most of the day.
I have cleaned out the upstairs closet that was PACKED full of stuff and reorganized.
I have cleaned off the shelf in the laundry room which is always a mess and now thanks to my new desk it is empty!
Lance and I reorganized his "homework" area.
I organized the cabinet above the shelf in the laundry room and homework and it is mostly empty.
I also went through the rubbermaid bins in the attic spaces and sorted baby clothes and was able to reduce totally rid the attic space of two bins, so now I have TONS of boxes for a yard sale, but there is a lot more room for storage.
It is kind of funny that I am more sentimental about Lance's baby clothes than Lily's. I think it is because more of his were gifts from friends, coworkers, etc, where a lot of Lily's were ones I purchased so they don't have as much significance. Or maybe there was a time that I wanted another child and hoped it would be a boy. Which I have to say I am over with now, thanks to Lily. So I have been thinking about it lately, I am content with two, before kids I thought 3, but I think we are good with two. I don't want to go through morning sickness, labor, early breastfeeding, sleepless nights, diapers, colds, crying, etc all over again, I am really enjoying life with kids not babies.
So I have been able to get a lot done. Jeff even got the desk I inherited from my grandmother done so I have a new place for my cookbooks, pens, and other stuff which helps me to get other areas clean. I love organizing and I love when everywhere has a home so it has been fun to get things neat and orderly. I also love purging stuff, it is very cleansing to decide to yard sale the spoons that I use to use before I got the ones I loved and as a result haven't touched them in a year because now there is more room in the drawer and it makes it a bit easier to open and close. I guess another way to look at it is, there is room for more stuff. Which reminds me, I don't buy a lot of stuff, so how have I accumulated so much to get rid of? Well I wish I had before and after pictures of my work, but it was a bit embarrassing how messy certain areas where. So now the goal is to keep these areas neat and organized, but if everything has a home shouldn't that be possible?
I have cleaned out the upstairs closet that was PACKED full of stuff and reorganized.
I have cleaned off the shelf in the laundry room which is always a mess and now thanks to my new desk it is empty!
Lance and I reorganized his "homework" area.
I organized the cabinet above the shelf in the laundry room and homework and it is mostly empty.
I also went through the rubbermaid bins in the attic spaces and sorted baby clothes and was able to reduce totally rid the attic space of two bins, so now I have TONS of boxes for a yard sale, but there is a lot more room for storage.
It is kind of funny that I am more sentimental about Lance's baby clothes than Lily's. I think it is because more of his were gifts from friends, coworkers, etc, where a lot of Lily's were ones I purchased so they don't have as much significance. Or maybe there was a time that I wanted another child and hoped it would be a boy. Which I have to say I am over with now, thanks to Lily. So I have been thinking about it lately, I am content with two, before kids I thought 3, but I think we are good with two. I don't want to go through morning sickness, labor, early breastfeeding, sleepless nights, diapers, colds, crying, etc all over again, I am really enjoying life with kids not babies.
So I have been able to get a lot done. Jeff even got the desk I inherited from my grandmother done so I have a new place for my cookbooks, pens, and other stuff which helps me to get other areas clean. I love organizing and I love when everywhere has a home so it has been fun to get things neat and orderly. I also love purging stuff, it is very cleansing to decide to yard sale the spoons that I use to use before I got the ones I loved and as a result haven't touched them in a year because now there is more room in the drawer and it makes it a bit easier to open and close. I guess another way to look at it is, there is room for more stuff. Which reminds me, I don't buy a lot of stuff, so how have I accumulated so much to get rid of? Well I wish I had before and after pictures of my work, but it was a bit embarrassing how messy certain areas where. So now the goal is to keep these areas neat and organized, but if everything has a home shouldn't that be possible?
Friday, August 12, 2011
Mr. Cautious
This is Mr. Cautious:
I know he doesn't look like a cautious person:
but he is a bit timid, especially when it comes to riding his bike without training wheels.
We have been working on it on and off all summer and it has been a struggle.
A struggle that I am not cut out for because I get easily frustrated when he will not even try. He finally figured out how to balance and pedal and ride without training wheels after a week of trying, but getting him back on the bike was difficult. Getting him to ride without running along side of him was tricky too, but we got that down. He was doing so good the only thing was, he hadn't had a big crash yet, and we knew it was going to happen, we were just worried he would not get back on the bicycle afterwards. Well yesterday we had a playdate at playground that has a small paved loop beside it, a perfect opportunity to ride our bikes. Lance got on and took off, it was great:
until he got a bit ahead of me and encountered a slight decline in elevation and started going faster and faster and faster. I realized that Lance was going faster than he felt comfortable with so I started yelling for him to brake and was running to try and catch up to him. "Brake! Brake!" I kept yelling, I couldn't figure out why he wasn't doing the very thing that he was so good before. When we were first teaching him how to ride minus training wheels, Lance would put on the brakes the first instant he realized that we were not holding onto him or the first time he was balancing on his own, and now he is riding and needs to use the brakes and he wasn't. I can't win with this child! At the bottom of this slight decline is a slight left hand curve and it was here that Lance crashed. Thank goodness it was on the left because the right had some erosion control plastic up and trees that could have broken something on impact. I ran to him as he was sitting up and I wish I would have gotten his picture because he had a large blade of grass stuck to his forehead and dirt all over his face, he ate it and he ate it good. I immediately brushed him off, told him it was a good crash and tried to get him back on the bicycle. Fortunately, I think due to peer pressure, when he stopped crying, he climbed back on and we went back the way we came to avoid future downhills and did two loops on the trail.
He did great! I did not have to stay right beside him or hold on and he was able to stop twice without me. Now he just needs to get started on his own. So I think we have got bicycle riding without training wheels down! I never thought we would be here, not after all the crying fits and refusals to try that occurred back in May. We have come a long way so to celebrate we had a treat:
frozen yogurt! It was delicious! So our summer mission to get Lance to ride his bike, accomplished, all that is left is trying to get her:
potty trained, we have been working on it for months, but we keep having setbacks and she just doesn't care if she pees all over herself which makes potty training very difficult.
I know he doesn't look like a cautious person:
but he is a bit timid, especially when it comes to riding his bike without training wheels.
We have been working on it on and off all summer and it has been a struggle.
A struggle that I am not cut out for because I get easily frustrated when he will not even try. He finally figured out how to balance and pedal and ride without training wheels after a week of trying, but getting him back on the bike was difficult. Getting him to ride without running along side of him was tricky too, but we got that down. He was doing so good the only thing was, he hadn't had a big crash yet, and we knew it was going to happen, we were just worried he would not get back on the bicycle afterwards. Well yesterday we had a playdate at playground that has a small paved loop beside it, a perfect opportunity to ride our bikes. Lance got on and took off, it was great:
until he got a bit ahead of me and encountered a slight decline in elevation and started going faster and faster and faster. I realized that Lance was going faster than he felt comfortable with so I started yelling for him to brake and was running to try and catch up to him. "Brake! Brake!" I kept yelling, I couldn't figure out why he wasn't doing the very thing that he was so good before. When we were first teaching him how to ride minus training wheels, Lance would put on the brakes the first instant he realized that we were not holding onto him or the first time he was balancing on his own, and now he is riding and needs to use the brakes and he wasn't. I can't win with this child! At the bottom of this slight decline is a slight left hand curve and it was here that Lance crashed. Thank goodness it was on the left because the right had some erosion control plastic up and trees that could have broken something on impact. I ran to him as he was sitting up and I wish I would have gotten his picture because he had a large blade of grass stuck to his forehead and dirt all over his face, he ate it and he ate it good. I immediately brushed him off, told him it was a good crash and tried to get him back on the bicycle. Fortunately, I think due to peer pressure, when he stopped crying, he climbed back on and we went back the way we came to avoid future downhills and did two loops on the trail.
He did great! I did not have to stay right beside him or hold on and he was able to stop twice without me. Now he just needs to get started on his own. So I think we have got bicycle riding without training wheels down! I never thought we would be here, not after all the crying fits and refusals to try that occurred back in May. We have come a long way so to celebrate we had a treat:
frozen yogurt! It was delicious! So our summer mission to get Lance to ride his bike, accomplished, all that is left is trying to get her:
potty trained, we have been working on it for months, but we keep having setbacks and she just doesn't care if she pees all over herself which makes potty training very difficult.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
seasons
we had a playdate at a friend's house yesterday and they have the play set of all play set and so the kids of course wanted to go outside and play so we did and it was so strange.
It is August and it was hot like August, but there was no humidity so it felt like fall, and it was nice and it got me excited for fall (the strange part).
I hate winter, so I say I love summer, but really I think I love all seasons except winter though Christmas is fun.
Yesterday was apple orchard weather, it was dry, but warm and felt like summer time and got me kind of excited about Fall. I guess now that our beach trip is over with I am ready to move on so it will be summer again and have a beach trip to look forward to. I started thinking about all the nice things Fall has, trips to the apple orchards, hiking in the mountains when the leaves are all different colors, going to the pumpkin patch and carving pumpkins, and going to corn mazes and other fall festivals, sounds like fun.
Then I burst the bubble by thinking about having to wear long sleeves and long pants, I love summer dresses.
Cold weather and losing daylight, I love the warm, summer evenings, when it stays light past 8 instead of 5 or 6 like in the winter.
So like everything in life, there is good with the bad and nothing seems to be fully one or the other.
It is suppose to be cool for these next few days so when it gets hot and humid again next week (assuming it will be), I will enjoy both and appreciate the last remaining days of summer before the cool weather and dark nights chase the fireflies away until next summer.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
1.5 weeks left
before Lance goes to Kindergarten!
I am excited for him and sad and everything all rolled up into one.
Lance is going to public school which is ironic because 5 years ago I would have never considered it, but now it is our best option.
I had wanted to homeschool, because I wanted to protect Lance from the children that would be bad influences on him and might hurt him and for him to learn efficiently because the material can be covered in a lot less time, but Lance and I just don't work well together. Doing speech homework or working on workbooks is a struggle and a fight, it is pulling teeth and one of us gets mad at the other and it is just not effective. Then there is his speech delay and possible learning disabilities that are a struggle. No one has been able to figure out how he learns and what problems he may have and is he is just learns differently and he needs different teaching strategies that I just do not have. And then he is just so darn social, it would kill him to not go to school because he just loves people, this summer has been rough for him in the weeks that he didn't have summer camp or many playdates, I can't blame him, he gets it from me. So I have realized over the past two years that homeschooling is not an option for Lance, or myself. Yes there are co-ops that meet once a week for extra lessons, but once a week is not enough for Lance, he really is ready for all day school, though I am not ready for him to be.
I considered for awhile private school, but looking at the prices, over $500 a month, that is too much money to be spending on education when we are barely making it, have to pay for college one day, and do not have any savings, yes we could borrow money, but I don't want more debt. Then there is some consideration that a small percentage of the children that are in private school (usually the upper grades) are the very kids I am afraid of in the public school. The kids that get the boot from public school or so out of control that their parents send them to private school to hopefully get them away from the bad influences or reform them. I know of countless people who have sent their kids to a private, Christian school in town after their child was expelled from public school or gotten in trouble or is out of control in hopes of reforming them. And also with private school, the special ed services for students is non-existent or can't compare to public school so why pay tuition for a school that might not even be able to even help Lance because of lack of special education services?
So after ruling out homeschooling and private school, public was the only option left. Fortunately we live in the school zone for a very nice, small elementary school that is in competition for students of a very nice private school. I am not looking forward to the upper crust snobbery of the school, but I am thankful for it being small with great teachers and students (I went there and I turned out fine).
So how to school your children is another one of those choices of motherhood that are often judged just like vaccines, breastfeeding, and natural childbirth, and I am going against the flow that many I know are. Some may think I am throwing Lance in the lion den, but it would be far worse if I tried to homeschool him because he probably would not learn anything and hate me, so I am making the best decision for all of us, but it is hard knowing that some people would judge me for it. I ran into a woman a few weeks ago, she homeschools, but she admitted to me she wasn't very good at it and her middle child is extremely social and craves social groups and I thought, are you really helping your children? Are you really protecting them or giving them the best when you admit you don't think you are doing a good job and one of your children is lacking what she needs? Is private or public school really that evil or is it just the pressure of everyone else? Which reminds me, why do people pressure other people when their choices are unlike their own? Homeschooling is HUGE around here and it seems like EVERYONE does it, but does that really make it the best?
I am excited for him and sad and everything all rolled up into one.
Lance is going to public school which is ironic because 5 years ago I would have never considered it, but now it is our best option.
I had wanted to homeschool, because I wanted to protect Lance from the children that would be bad influences on him and might hurt him and for him to learn efficiently because the material can be covered in a lot less time, but Lance and I just don't work well together. Doing speech homework or working on workbooks is a struggle and a fight, it is pulling teeth and one of us gets mad at the other and it is just not effective. Then there is his speech delay and possible learning disabilities that are a struggle. No one has been able to figure out how he learns and what problems he may have and is he is just learns differently and he needs different teaching strategies that I just do not have. And then he is just so darn social, it would kill him to not go to school because he just loves people, this summer has been rough for him in the weeks that he didn't have summer camp or many playdates, I can't blame him, he gets it from me. So I have realized over the past two years that homeschooling is not an option for Lance, or myself. Yes there are co-ops that meet once a week for extra lessons, but once a week is not enough for Lance, he really is ready for all day school, though I am not ready for him to be.
I considered for awhile private school, but looking at the prices, over $500 a month, that is too much money to be spending on education when we are barely making it, have to pay for college one day, and do not have any savings, yes we could borrow money, but I don't want more debt. Then there is some consideration that a small percentage of the children that are in private school (usually the upper grades) are the very kids I am afraid of in the public school. The kids that get the boot from public school or so out of control that their parents send them to private school to hopefully get them away from the bad influences or reform them. I know of countless people who have sent their kids to a private, Christian school in town after their child was expelled from public school or gotten in trouble or is out of control in hopes of reforming them. And also with private school, the special ed services for students is non-existent or can't compare to public school so why pay tuition for a school that might not even be able to even help Lance because of lack of special education services?
So after ruling out homeschooling and private school, public was the only option left. Fortunately we live in the school zone for a very nice, small elementary school that is in competition for students of a very nice private school. I am not looking forward to the upper crust snobbery of the school, but I am thankful for it being small with great teachers and students (I went there and I turned out fine).
So how to school your children is another one of those choices of motherhood that are often judged just like vaccines, breastfeeding, and natural childbirth, and I am going against the flow that many I know are. Some may think I am throwing Lance in the lion den, but it would be far worse if I tried to homeschool him because he probably would not learn anything and hate me, so I am making the best decision for all of us, but it is hard knowing that some people would judge me for it. I ran into a woman a few weeks ago, she homeschools, but she admitted to me she wasn't very good at it and her middle child is extremely social and craves social groups and I thought, are you really helping your children? Are you really protecting them or giving them the best when you admit you don't think you are doing a good job and one of your children is lacking what she needs? Is private or public school really that evil or is it just the pressure of everyone else? Which reminds me, why do people pressure other people when their choices are unlike their own? Homeschooling is HUGE around here and it seems like EVERYONE does it, but does that really make it the best?
Tuesday, August 09, 2011
transitions
this summer seems to be the summers of good-byes, summer of transitions.
some fun:
like lily transitioning to a big girl bed and saying good-bye to the last of babyhood.
which is exciting, but still a little sad.
lance graduating from preschool and will be starting kindergarten in a few weeks
saying good-bye to Gram, losing my last grandmother.
finishing graduate school classes and now looking for a job.
and now, a change to my first job.
The owner of the restaurant where I got my first job, and still work there occasionally just sold the business. This place has been my safety net, I knew that if things ever got bad, I could always pick up some hours there or go back to work full time there, now with a new owner I don't know what is going to happen. I am excited for the owner since she will have more time for herself and her family, but sad that another chapter is coming to an end. I am forever indebted to her for hiring me, teaching me so much, and giving me so much more over the years. I wish I could find the words to describe what this place means to me, I have met so many people through the store and have so many memories. Once again, another transition that is bittersweet.
So many changes, life is definitely not stagnant.
some fun:
like lily transitioning to a big girl bed and saying good-bye to the last of babyhood.
which is exciting, but still a little sad.
lance graduating from preschool and will be starting kindergarten in a few weeks
saying good-bye to Gram, losing my last grandmother.
finishing graduate school classes and now looking for a job.
and now, a change to my first job.
The owner of the restaurant where I got my first job, and still work there occasionally just sold the business. This place has been my safety net, I knew that if things ever got bad, I could always pick up some hours there or go back to work full time there, now with a new owner I don't know what is going to happen. I am excited for the owner since she will have more time for herself and her family, but sad that another chapter is coming to an end. I am forever indebted to her for hiring me, teaching me so much, and giving me so much more over the years. I wish I could find the words to describe what this place means to me, I have met so many people through the store and have so many memories. Once again, another transition that is bittersweet.
So many changes, life is definitely not stagnant.
Monday, August 08, 2011
little mommy
Lily in the last few weeks has become a little mommy. She wants to take her baby for walks in the stroller
she wants to wrap the baby up in blankets and put them to bed, during lunch she wants a special sandwich just for baby
last night we walked to a church playground and I just loved watching Lily with her baby, she pushed her on the swing, had lance drop her down the slide so she can catch her, and she carried her up the rock wall, it was very sweet.
I am just blown away by how different girls and boys are and how we don't push lily towards babies and playing mommy, but she does it all on her own, just like lance gravitates towards vehicles.
Lily has grown so much this summer and she isn't a baby anymore, which is sad, but so much fun!
she wants to wrap the baby up in blankets and put them to bed, during lunch she wants a special sandwich just for baby
last night we walked to a church playground and I just loved watching Lily with her baby, she pushed her on the swing, had lance drop her down the slide so she can catch her, and she carried her up the rock wall, it was very sweet.
I am just blown away by how different girls and boys are and how we don't push lily towards babies and playing mommy, but she does it all on her own, just like lance gravitates towards vehicles.
Lily has grown so much this summer and she isn't a baby anymore, which is sad, but so much fun!
Sunday, August 07, 2011
home again
So here I sit on my screened in porch trying to enjoy the early morning like I did at the beach house. It is nice out here, but not the same. There is no sun rising up over the vast Atlantic Ocean, but there is the buzz of bees and the leaves rustling with the breeze which is nice.
Lily is not taking the going home part well. I don't know whether we didn't explain what was going on well enough or what, but is breaking my heart.
Yesterday we got packed up and headed down the beach for breakfast. We ate breakfast and then we passed back by the beach house to leave and when we passed by the beach house Lily shouted "you missed it!" and started to cry. A couple times on I-40 she exclaimed she wanted to go to the beach house and would cry when we told her we were going home. The worst though was when we had just crossed over the Virginia border and Lily yelled out "keep your eyes open for the bridge, we are almost there." I realized right away she meant the swing bridge of the island. I tried to explain that there wasn't going to be a bridge since we were headed home which then brought on even more tears. She seemed to be devastated that we were going home and not to the beach house. Now that we are home she seems fine, but I am not mentioning the beach house. I wonder if she thought we moved there or what she is thinking, but it breaks my heart to see her so upset. I hope that since I don't have school anymore that she will like being at home and will get over the beach house.
So we are all a little sad to be home, but you can't stay forever, would it still be special if we lived there?
So today we will try to get back to the real world and enjoy where we live and start the countdown for the next summer's beach trip.
Saturday, August 06, 2011
as i sit here one last morning
i am sad.
we are going home today.
back to regular life when jeff is only home on sundays and my mom is only around on the weekends or late afternoons.
back to life of trying to manage to pay bills and where I don't have an extra set of hands to cook and clean.
where in the evening you can't walk a few yards and let the kids run wild.
i am going to miss siting out on the the porch in the morning and listening to the surf and the tree frogs and the occasional car passing by.
back to the real world.
where i have to find a job.
figure out a new normal now that classes are done and the kids will be going to school.
it has been a great week.
not necessarily the best vacation ever, but it was exactly what we needed.
time to relax and time together.
perfect.
yesterday jeff and I celebrated our 11 year anniversary by taking a guided kayak tour through the creeks and intercoastal waterways behind the island.
It was very nice to paddle around in the middle of nowhere and see the island from a new perspective. We heard bomb explosions from Camp LeJune, we saw snowy egrets, osprey, blue crabs, and snails that rest on the tops of grasses to escape the crabs. It was nice to paddle around, it would have been fun if it could have been just the two of us, but the tidal creeks are a maze and we could not have done it alone.So we are winding down a week at the beach that was full of excitement, but overall nice and relaxing and I can't wait to do it again next year.
Friday, August 05, 2011
end of the week
Why is it the beginning of the week seems to pass by so slowly, but the end of the week when I want time to pass slowly, time seems to be passing at warp speed.
So today is the last day of our beach trip.
How can a week fly by so quickly?
There is still so much to do.
What did we do all week?
I am sad that tomorrow we head home and vacation is over.
I know I should be thankful, there are many people who do not get to spend a week relaxing at the beach, but I am still sad, this is a week that we get Jeff to for a whole week, he only has Sundays off so having a whole week is wonderful.
Then there is kindergarten to consider, Lance is going to start Kindergarten in a few weeks, Kindergarten, how did this happen? I am not ready to send my baby to school all day, every day. I know that he will LOVE it, so that helps.
So one day left and we will enjoy it.
Oh I almost forgot, today is our wedding anniversary, 11 years.
We made it 11 years! amazing, this past year has been rough so I am thankful we are still together and we are celebrating today with a kayak tour of the sound/intercoastal waterway, very excited!
Thursday, August 04, 2011
memories
This beach trip has been a lot of fun, but there have been quite a few sad moments as well. Last year when we were at the beach, Charles and Gram were still alive and though they both did not have life was not ideal, they were around and now both of them are gone. I never thought that we would lose both of them in a year, I kind of thought somehow Gram would outlast us all. Even though Gram has been "gone" for years since her memory has been gone and she wasn't herself, she was still there, like she always was, a constant, and having her around made Pop seem not so far away, I always felt that he knew what was going on through her. Losing Charles though was much harder, though he never was technically my father, he was around a lot longer than my own. I even have picked up a few Charles characteristics/behaviors from him, some good, some bad, but he rubbed off on me through the years, which is ironic because when I was in high school that would be the last thing I would have wanted.
What bring back the sadness and loss the most though, is Lance's new desire to fish. We went out on the pier Tuesday night and Lance decided he wanted to fish and he wanted a fishing pole. If Charles was here and he would have taken Lance out and fished with him and showed him everything there was to fish, he would have even bought him a fishing pole. It makes me sad knowing what Lance is missing. It also makes me sad that my mom doesn't have someone to grow old with or enjoy retirement with. There area also the stories, seeing the shark, the dragonfly in the house, the people, all the stories that he would enjoy, but he isn't around to tell. It is sad. I miss him. So though we are having a good time, there are small pauses where I think back on the last year and remember what is missing. I guess I need to get Lance and fishing pole and learn to fish to make Charles proud.
What bring back the sadness and loss the most though, is Lance's new desire to fish. We went out on the pier Tuesday night and Lance decided he wanted to fish and he wanted a fishing pole. If Charles was here and he would have taken Lance out and fished with him and showed him everything there was to fish, he would have even bought him a fishing pole. It makes me sad knowing what Lance is missing. It also makes me sad that my mom doesn't have someone to grow old with or enjoy retirement with. There area also the stories, seeing the shark, the dragonfly in the house, the people, all the stories that he would enjoy, but he isn't around to tell. It is sad. I miss him. So though we are having a good time, there are small pauses where I think back on the last year and remember what is missing. I guess I need to get Lance and fishing pole and learn to fish to make Charles proud.
Wednesday, August 03, 2011
never been so scared
For this beach trip I had wanted Jeff to break some white water kayaks to surf in, but due to lack of time and crazy schedule he never got things coordinated. well our neighbors in the beach house next door rented an ocean kayak and told us we could take it out for a spin, we were excited about the opportunity and when I got back from shopping (almost 5 o'clock), we headed out. We paddled out past the breakers, turned around, surfed in, paddled out and that is when we saw it.
a shark
not just any shark but at least a 6 foot long, girth, BIG shark.
Jeff saw its head and gills, I just saw the gills back, I saw it whip its tail around and swim out to sea, but I have never been so scared, it was beautiful, but very big and we were in a kayak that we could easily tip. I immediately freak out and want to go back to shore immediately, we turn to ride the waves back in, but we didn't align ourselves very well due to my freaking out and we flipped.
To recap- saw a shark big enough to take a chunk out and then 30 seconds later, we flip our boat and we are in the water.
It wasn't deep where we were and me being in panic mode start trying to run to shore, not sure why I thought that running in water would be faster or safer than boat, but Jeff convinced me to get back in, I did and we paddled quickly to shore.
I got on the shore ran over to my mom apologized for going out in the boat at 5 pm and swore I would never do that again and laid on the beach trying to slow down my heart rate and not throw up.
So now over 12 hours later, I think, did I really see what I saw? If Jeff wasn't there I would not have thought so, but he saw it too, but it seems so unreal. It was so scary, but yet so beautiful and so fast, but so creepy because we were not really in deep water. I wish I had my camera and my rational brain knows there was no way I could have snapped a picture, but I guess I just wish I had it so I could confirm we saw what we saw because it seems to unbelievable.
Lesson learned: there are big sharks not too deep at 5 o'clock so don't go swimming or kayaking.
It is going to be a hot one today, I wonder if I will be getting in the water today or will I be too chicken.
a shark
not just any shark but at least a 6 foot long, girth, BIG shark.
Jeff saw its head and gills, I just saw the gills back, I saw it whip its tail around and swim out to sea, but I have never been so scared, it was beautiful, but very big and we were in a kayak that we could easily tip. I immediately freak out and want to go back to shore immediately, we turn to ride the waves back in, but we didn't align ourselves very well due to my freaking out and we flipped.
To recap- saw a shark big enough to take a chunk out and then 30 seconds later, we flip our boat and we are in the water.
It wasn't deep where we were and me being in panic mode start trying to run to shore, not sure why I thought that running in water would be faster or safer than boat, but Jeff convinced me to get back in, I did and we paddled quickly to shore.
I got on the shore ran over to my mom apologized for going out in the boat at 5 pm and swore I would never do that again and laid on the beach trying to slow down my heart rate and not throw up.
So now over 12 hours later, I think, did I really see what I saw? If Jeff wasn't there I would not have thought so, but he saw it too, but it seems so unreal. It was so scary, but yet so beautiful and so fast, but so creepy because we were not really in deep water. I wish I had my camera and my rational brain knows there was no way I could have snapped a picture, but I guess I just wish I had it so I could confirm we saw what we saw because it seems to unbelievable.
Lesson learned: there are big sharks not too deep at 5 o'clock so don't go swimming or kayaking.
It is going to be a hot one today, I wonder if I will be getting in the water today or will I be too chicken.
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
wildlife
Yesterday we got our fill of wildlife, not really, but pretty close.
We had a close encounter with a prehistoric, didn't-know-they-could-get-that-big, dragonfly, we got to watch baby loggerhead sea turtles waddle down the sand and into the ocean, and we got to see several pods of porpoises cruising up and down the beach.
The dragonfly incident was a big scary. I was sitting in the kitchen and the kids were in the living room area watching a movie while Jeff and I my mom were preparing to go shopping when all of a sudden both kids screamed and ran towards me. I looked to see what frightened the kids when I saw this thing that was the size of a bird flying around and making this buzzing sound. I grabbed the kids, ducked under the bar of the counter and yelled for Jeff to come and rescue us. I then realized it was a dragonfly, which was not going to sting or hurt us, but it was so HUGE and kept dive bombing around the living area that it probably would have hurt on impact. Jeff finally came up and he attempted to get it out the door because killing it wasn't an option, it was too big. It dive bombed him once, he hit the floor and then it disappeared. We searched the area we had seen it fly to, but couldn't find it. We finally gave up the search went shopping, we came back briefly to get ready to head down to Wilmington and then left for the rest of the morning/afternoon. When we got back from our Wilmington excursion we came upstairs and there was the dragonfly resting on the floor by the door.
I immediately took out my camera to get a picture but realized that without something else for scale his size couldn't be understood so I tried to get my flip flop as close as I could without setting of the dragonfly.
It should be notes I only where a size 7.5 shoe so this is a big dragonfly.
We grabbed a broom and dustpan and managed to scoop up the dragonfly and release him outside. So we can now rest easy that the dragonfly is not lurking somewhere in the house, He was beautiful, but he was unsettling large.
We also saw several pods of porpoises, not unusual, but usually we see them first thing in the morning when everything is so hazy, not at 4 o'clock in the afternoon when everything is crisp and clear and relatively close, they were beautiful and it is a little creep how close they are to shore, or maybe how deep it gets so close to shore is more like it.
And we ended the night watching some loggerhead sea turtles scoot down the beach to their death. Not really, but knowing that it takes 1,000 eggs to produce 1 adult and that most baby turtles do not survive till adulthood, makes things seem pretty hopeless, but they were cute none the less and watching them head down the beach and take off into the water is amazing. I guess it the whole instinct thing, how they know what do and where to go and they do it on their own. The turtles were released by sea turtles monitors, they were found during a nest analysis as well as from another next down the beach, two of the turtles climbed out of the nest during the day so they captured them and waited until dark to release them to give them the best advantage.
So two days of beach vacation gone, four more days to go!
We had a close encounter with a prehistoric, didn't-know-they-could-get-that-big, dragonfly, we got to watch baby loggerhead sea turtles waddle down the sand and into the ocean, and we got to see several pods of porpoises cruising up and down the beach.
The dragonfly incident was a big scary. I was sitting in the kitchen and the kids were in the living room area watching a movie while Jeff and I my mom were preparing to go shopping when all of a sudden both kids screamed and ran towards me. I looked to see what frightened the kids when I saw this thing that was the size of a bird flying around and making this buzzing sound. I grabbed the kids, ducked under the bar of the counter and yelled for Jeff to come and rescue us. I then realized it was a dragonfly, which was not going to sting or hurt us, but it was so HUGE and kept dive bombing around the living area that it probably would have hurt on impact. Jeff finally came up and he attempted to get it out the door because killing it wasn't an option, it was too big. It dive bombed him once, he hit the floor and then it disappeared. We searched the area we had seen it fly to, but couldn't find it. We finally gave up the search went shopping, we came back briefly to get ready to head down to Wilmington and then left for the rest of the morning/afternoon. When we got back from our Wilmington excursion we came upstairs and there was the dragonfly resting on the floor by the door.
I immediately took out my camera to get a picture but realized that without something else for scale his size couldn't be understood so I tried to get my flip flop as close as I could without setting of the dragonfly.
It should be notes I only where a size 7.5 shoe so this is a big dragonfly.
We grabbed a broom and dustpan and managed to scoop up the dragonfly and release him outside. So we can now rest easy that the dragonfly is not lurking somewhere in the house, He was beautiful, but he was unsettling large.
We also saw several pods of porpoises, not unusual, but usually we see them first thing in the morning when everything is so hazy, not at 4 o'clock in the afternoon when everything is crisp and clear and relatively close, they were beautiful and it is a little creep how close they are to shore, or maybe how deep it gets so close to shore is more like it.
And we ended the night watching some loggerhead sea turtles scoot down the beach to their death. Not really, but knowing that it takes 1,000 eggs to produce 1 adult and that most baby turtles do not survive till adulthood, makes things seem pretty hopeless, but they were cute none the less and watching them head down the beach and take off into the water is amazing. I guess it the whole instinct thing, how they know what do and where to go and they do it on their own. The turtles were released by sea turtles monitors, they were found during a nest analysis as well as from another next down the beach, two of the turtles climbed out of the nest during the day so they captured them and waited until dark to release them to give them the best advantage.
So two days of beach vacation gone, four more days to go!
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