I never would have thought I would lose sleep and worry over Kindergarten.
The decision really in the grand scheme of things is small, but it seems to be of Goliath proportion and everyone has an opinion and like so many things when it comes to motherhood, there is no right answer.
To send Lance to Kindergarten or not to, that is the question of the year!
I have been flipping and flopping over what to do for months and with preschool applications this week it has been driving me crazy.
After teaching public school for four years I swore I would never send my kid to public school, I thought I would homeschool, but then I realized that Lance and I don't do well together when it comes to academics, we butt heads, and he won't try, perform, or whatever for me.
He also is a very SOCIAL kid and would hate being home schooled, he needs more socialization. Yes, home schoolers get socialization, but Lance wants DAILY socialization and that is only going to happen in a day long school setting. So despite my desire to shelter and teach my children, I can see that it is not best for Lance, especially since he possibly has a learning disability and I do not have the skills to help him.
So then there is the wait a year or send him.
The preschool teacher recommended waiting and sending him to the 5 day half-day 5 year old class, but would 2 hours and 45 minutes of preschool really be beneficial for him? He doesn't need to mature socially or emotionally, he needs to mature academically which I would think would happen in a Kindergarten classroom. I do fear that he could get overwhelmed in Kindergarten, but even if we wait a year he could get overwhelmed if a learning disability is hindering his learning.
Here's the other thing, if he was in the public preschool there would be no decision, he would automatically be sent to Kindergarten, they don't offer a Pre-K program for 5 year olds. Also, if Lance did not go to preschool at all then I would probably just enroll him in school and not even think twice, basically ignorance is bliss.
Then there is the me to consider. If Lance goes to Kindergarten and Lily preschool, that would allow me to have more time to work on my part-time job from home or work a few mornings out of the house which would help us our financially which would be wonderful for our family. I hate stressing about money, but it is has been the number one stress in our life for the last couple of years and I am honestly tired of treading water, I want to have money in savings and be debt-free and that is only going to happen with me working.
Also, I want desperately for Lance to be normal. He just started really talking this past summer and there may be other problems lurking beside a speech delay and I just want him to be normal. Fortunately, going into Kindergarten he has an IEP, a speech therapist and a special ed teacher so he will receive help hopefully before he is in over his head. Then all this worry makes me feel like I am making Lance out to be incapable of learning, and that isn't true.
I just want what is best for Lance, but also for all of us, and unfortunately there is no right answer. Several people have told me how they waited a year to send there kids to Kindergarten and it was the best decision, but how do they really know? You can't have one child go through both scenarios.
I need to stop questioning everything and just stick with my decision to send Lance to Kindergarten. I am just afraid that I am being selfish or stubborn and oblivious to the writing on the wall.
So the Kindergarten decision, I wish it wasn't so difficult and I wish I could stop questioning myself, it is just so hard when it is 8 months down the road yet you have to figure out what you are doing NOW!
I knew motherhood was going to be tough, I just didn't know how tough the little things can seem to be.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
back to the blah
Tuesday was rainy and cold.
Yesterday was blustery and cold.
and I am back in hibernation mode where I can't get ANYTHING done!
BOO!
I want desperately for spring to come or maybe just move to south Florida.
Currently it is 21 degrees with a high today of 35.
I must get out of the funk.
that's all.
Yesterday was blustery and cold.
and I am back in hibernation mode where I can't get ANYTHING done!
BOO!
I want desperately for spring to come or maybe just move to south Florida.
Currently it is 21 degrees with a high today of 35.
I must get out of the funk.
that's all.
Monday, January 10, 2011
once a week cooking
I am incredibly interested in once-a-month-cooking. I would love to have menus planned and prepped for a whole month. It just isn't possible for me right now, for several reasons:
- I don't have a large amount of kid free time to prepare more than a handful of meals and trying to cook is hard with a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old who want to help and be underfoot
-I don't have a freezer large enough to hold a months worth of meals
-I don't have a kitchen big enough to prepare a lot of meals
- and finally I don't have enough money to buy enough groceries for a month's worth
I have been trying to do more freezer cooking for awhile now, I double some recipes and put one in the freezer for later and eat one for dinner. Having a prepared dinner in the freezer makes me feel good because I know that on a day when I don't feel like cooking we won't be tempted to go out to eat or just eat junk, we can have a decent meal despite a lack of motivation. So I have been slowly moving towards once-a-month cooking and I have figured out that it works best for me on a smaller scale- a week's worth. So if I get a couple hours kid-free on a Sunday to prep some meals, I go to town. I have found it makes the week so much easier especially when I just have to pull dinner out of the freezer and put it in the oven.
Yesterday while Lily napped and Lance and Jeff went to the children's museum I went went to work in the kitchen, preparing 4 of the 7 meals for this week. It was pure chaos, and there were TONS of dishes to wash afterward, but most of my meals are prepped and ready to go. Which reminds me I don't mind cleaning the kitchen and a clean, organized kitchen makes me feel good, but I get tired of messing it up to make dinner and clean it up every night and that is why plan ahead cooking is ideal for me. I make a huge mess one day and the rest of the week the mess is just plates and a casserole dish, not all of prep bowls, measuring cups, spatulas etc that need cleaning when you are prepping meals. Having a clean kitchen also helps motivate me to keeping the rest of the house clean and when I don't have to spend over half an hour cleaning the kitchen I am a bit more motivated to pick up other areas on the house in the evening.
So hopefully I will continue to meal plan and find the time to do once-a-week-cooking to make the week run a little smoother and help us to save money by not wasting food and eating at home.
- I don't have a large amount of kid free time to prepare more than a handful of meals and trying to cook is hard with a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old who want to help and be underfoot
-I don't have a freezer large enough to hold a months worth of meals
-I don't have a kitchen big enough to prepare a lot of meals
- and finally I don't have enough money to buy enough groceries for a month's worth
I have been trying to do more freezer cooking for awhile now, I double some recipes and put one in the freezer for later and eat one for dinner. Having a prepared dinner in the freezer makes me feel good because I know that on a day when I don't feel like cooking we won't be tempted to go out to eat or just eat junk, we can have a decent meal despite a lack of motivation. So I have been slowly moving towards once-a-month cooking and I have figured out that it works best for me on a smaller scale- a week's worth. So if I get a couple hours kid-free on a Sunday to prep some meals, I go to town. I have found it makes the week so much easier especially when I just have to pull dinner out of the freezer and put it in the oven.
Yesterday while Lily napped and Lance and Jeff went to the children's museum I went went to work in the kitchen, preparing 4 of the 7 meals for this week. It was pure chaos, and there were TONS of dishes to wash afterward, but most of my meals are prepped and ready to go. Which reminds me I don't mind cleaning the kitchen and a clean, organized kitchen makes me feel good, but I get tired of messing it up to make dinner and clean it up every night and that is why plan ahead cooking is ideal for me. I make a huge mess one day and the rest of the week the mess is just plates and a casserole dish, not all of prep bowls, measuring cups, spatulas etc that need cleaning when you are prepping meals. Having a clean kitchen also helps motivate me to keeping the rest of the house clean and when I don't have to spend over half an hour cleaning the kitchen I am a bit more motivated to pick up other areas on the house in the evening.
So hopefully I will continue to meal plan and find the time to do once-a-week-cooking to make the week run a little smoother and help us to save money by not wasting food and eating at home.
Saturday, January 08, 2011
what a difference a little light makes
I am not a fan of winter, especially cold weather. I hate being cold and hate cold weather unless it is snowing. Winter just seems dark, cold, and confining. In December and November, right after the time change, I was really struggling with motivation to do anything, especially in the late afternoon since it was so dark. I need sunlight, I am a bump on a log on rainy days, but sunny, warm days, I am ridiculously productive. So last month, the house was feeling microscopic, the kids were not getting enough energy out, and I didn't know how we were going to survive January and February. I was in hibernation mode and it wasn't good.
Things fortunately turned around last week. The change began with temperatures in the upper 50's last Friday which got the kids and I out of the house during the day, and then the realization that it isn't complete dark at 5 pm helped matters too. Unfortunately the warm temperatures didn't last, it was back in the 30's this week, but it is staying light later, only 15 minutes, but it has made all the difference. Several afternoons this past week the kids and I went for a walk/bike ride to the church playgrounds that are close and enjoying getting out and being active. It was so nice to be able to stay out until 5:15 without it being pitch black. The day doesn't seem as long, the kids aren't as wild when I am trying to make dinner, the witching hour isn't nearly as witching, and I think that maybe I can make it to spring. So there is hope that we can make it through winter since I can't move to Florida.
Things fortunately turned around last week. The change began with temperatures in the upper 50's last Friday which got the kids and I out of the house during the day, and then the realization that it isn't complete dark at 5 pm helped matters too. Unfortunately the warm temperatures didn't last, it was back in the 30's this week, but it is staying light later, only 15 minutes, but it has made all the difference. Several afternoons this past week the kids and I went for a walk/bike ride to the church playgrounds that are close and enjoying getting out and being active. It was so nice to be able to stay out until 5:15 without it being pitch black. The day doesn't seem as long, the kids aren't as wild when I am trying to make dinner, the witching hour isn't nearly as witching, and I think that maybe I can make it to spring. So there is hope that we can make it through winter since I can't move to Florida.
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
balance
This year in addition to New Year's Resolutions I have a word to try and achieve:
Balance.
I need it.
I need to find a way to balance graduate school, work, playtime, chores, personal time, reading, exercising.
Balance, my goal for 2011.
Balance.
I need it.
I need to find a way to balance graduate school, work, playtime, chores, personal time, reading, exercising.
Balance, my goal for 2011.
Monday, January 03, 2011
we don't get out much
We don't get out much, and now I know why. . .
With two small children, we don't go out to the movies very often, but yesterday we decided to splurge and go see "The Voyage of Dawn Treader." We had two options, the nice, new theater with stadium seating or the older, not nice theater. The older theater offered the movie in 3-D or normal and the nice theater only in 3-D. If you are going to pay $8 I figured go to the nice theater, I was forgetting about the $3.50 surcharge for the 3-D glasses. So we handed over $23 dollars to see the movie, $23 for a movie was harsh and then to make it worse the movie really wasn't that great in 3-D! The movie was entertaining and good, but it would have been just as good not in 3-D, this whole 3-D kick EVERY movie seems to be on is silly. Is it just to make more money? please tell me it is just a phase.
I personally am not a fan of the 3-D, yeah it is kind of cool, but it kind of hurts my head and the glasses do not fit and I have to hold them at a weird angle and adjust them every few minutes, basically it is more of a pain then worth it.
maybe i wouldn't be so opposed to it if you didn't have to buy the 3-D glasses every time. I loved that at the beginning of the movie it said "keep 3-D green by recycling your glasses." I hope people realize the green isn't environmental green, but financial green because they don't have to make new glasses, they just repackage the glasses and re-sell them. Can you not pay the 3-D surcharge and bring your own? In fact I would rather buy a more expensive pair that fit my head and bring my own so I would have a comfortable movie experience, but I doubt that would ever happen. So we kept our 3-D glasses for the kids to play with because if I am going to pay for them I am going to get my money's worth.
Oh and I forgot to mention the $4.75 small soda, if that thing was small, then the large could serve a family of 5. The prices and proportions of movie theater food/drink is RIDICULOUS, no wonder the U.S. has an obesity problem. I know that movie theaters make their money off of their concessions, but I would think more people would pay more for smaller, cheaper food options.
So it will probably be awhile before we go see a movie again, or at least a 3-D movie, or maybe I just need to look into a way to find cheaper movie tickets. . .
With two small children, we don't go out to the movies very often, but yesterday we decided to splurge and go see "The Voyage of Dawn Treader." We had two options, the nice, new theater with stadium seating or the older, not nice theater. The older theater offered the movie in 3-D or normal and the nice theater only in 3-D. If you are going to pay $8 I figured go to the nice theater, I was forgetting about the $3.50 surcharge for the 3-D glasses. So we handed over $23 dollars to see the movie, $23 for a movie was harsh and then to make it worse the movie really wasn't that great in 3-D! The movie was entertaining and good, but it would have been just as good not in 3-D, this whole 3-D kick EVERY movie seems to be on is silly. Is it just to make more money? please tell me it is just a phase.
I personally am not a fan of the 3-D, yeah it is kind of cool, but it kind of hurts my head and the glasses do not fit and I have to hold them at a weird angle and adjust them every few minutes, basically it is more of a pain then worth it.
maybe i wouldn't be so opposed to it if you didn't have to buy the 3-D glasses every time. I loved that at the beginning of the movie it said "keep 3-D green by recycling your glasses." I hope people realize the green isn't environmental green, but financial green because they don't have to make new glasses, they just repackage the glasses and re-sell them. Can you not pay the 3-D surcharge and bring your own? In fact I would rather buy a more expensive pair that fit my head and bring my own so I would have a comfortable movie experience, but I doubt that would ever happen. So we kept our 3-D glasses for the kids to play with because if I am going to pay for them I am going to get my money's worth.
Oh and I forgot to mention the $4.75 small soda, if that thing was small, then the large could serve a family of 5. The prices and proportions of movie theater food/drink is RIDICULOUS, no wonder the U.S. has an obesity problem. I know that movie theaters make their money off of their concessions, but I would think more people would pay more for smaller, cheaper food options.
So it will probably be awhile before we go see a movie again, or at least a 3-D movie, or maybe I just need to look into a way to find cheaper movie tickets. . .
Saturday, January 01, 2011
a fresh start
Life has been running at warp speed and there has no time for anything, especially blogging. I finished up the fall semester of grad school, nine hours, 3 classes, all A's! I worked some at a deli a couple of weekends this fall and worked from home aligning state standards to standardized tests, one thing I hated about teaching, but it pays bills and took up a lot of time. I shuttled the kids between school, play dates, and everywhere in between. 2010 is done and hopefully the chaos is done with it.
I want to find more balance this year. I love that every year we can start fresh, start over on day 1 and set goals and work towards being the person we were created to be.
I hate January, I hate winter, unless it is snowing, but I love the new beginning January 1st brings.
The slate is wiped clean and I can set goals and work towards them.
2011 will hopefully be a good year.
No more diapers for Lily- we've been working all week on this one, potty training Lance was WAY easier, but there is no turning back now!
I will finish grad school this summer and hopefully will start teaching part time and earn more income.
I will drink more water and get up early for some alone time every day.
I will tithe and save more.
I will be credit card debt free.
I will read the whole Bible again.
and who knows what else will strike my fancy today.
So my New Year's toast- is "to new beginnings!"
I want to find more balance this year. I love that every year we can start fresh, start over on day 1 and set goals and work towards being the person we were created to be.
I hate January, I hate winter, unless it is snowing, but I love the new beginning January 1st brings.
The slate is wiped clean and I can set goals and work towards them.
2011 will hopefully be a good year.
No more diapers for Lily- we've been working all week on this one, potty training Lance was WAY easier, but there is no turning back now!
I will finish grad school this summer and hopefully will start teaching part time and earn more income.
I will drink more water and get up early for some alone time every day.
I will tithe and save more.
I will be credit card debt free.
I will read the whole Bible again.
and who knows what else will strike my fancy today.
So my New Year's toast- is "to new beginnings!"
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