30 days of blah

This year NaBloPoMo was tough.  I didn't feel like posting something everyday because life right now is kind of blah and finding something to post was difficult.  As a result I posted a lot of blah.
Then to finish out the month of blah, today is really blah. It is so dark and gloomy and rainy that even some streetlights are on though it is 3 o'clock in the afternoon and we have at least two more hours of daylight left in the day.
So I did it, I posted every day for 30 days.  I feel some satisfaction, I think.  Part of me wishing that my ducks were all in a row so I could post about exciting things, because who wants to read about complaining and the blah-ness of life right, I don't even want to. 
Well anyways, here's to making it 30 days, even it is just blah.

tomorrow is picture day

I wonder which child is going to be uncooperative.
I wonder which child is going to somehow hurt themselves creating a bruise, cut, or rhino horn in a very noticeable location such as their forehead.
I wonder if we are going to be able to capture at least one good pose of the two of them.
Finger are NOT crossed.

hanging over my head

I have a project due on wednesday that I have known about since the beginning of the semester and of course it isn't finished, no where close.  I hate having this project hanging over my head, i just want it done, but it is so hard to get the words on the computer in some order that makes sense.  I am so thankful that I took this class first so I can get this out of the way, my motivation is poor now and it would be even worse if this was the last class for my masters.  Now if I can just get it done so I can relax and enjoy my week, I am stressed and won't find peace until it is done.  So my Saturday night will be spent working on a paper, good times, good times, yeah right.  I do have 9 pages complete and the paper is suppose to be 10-15 so I hope I am halfway there, just trying to make sure I have included all the info i need.  Cross your fingers for me, my house needs cleaning and groceries need to be gotten, but I can't focus until the paper is mostly done.

Black Friday blahs

My mom, lily and I hit up some stores since it was black Friday, shopping at 8 am wasn't too bad and we were done by 10, and the stores had everything we wanted except for 1 thing, not too bad. Overall the day was pretty blah since I am trying to get my research project done, not my idea of a fun Friday night but I think I am halfway done, hope to finish it up to orris, so tired of having it hanging over my head.

Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving!
I am thankful for:
- still being married after a very stressful year
- that we are still in business after a fire destroyed our business
- for all the friends, family, and strangers that have supported us the last 6 months when we haven't been able to support ourselves
- that we have a roof over our head and food to eat
- two healthy, and relatively happy children
- that we are rich compared to most of the world
- for good friends and good times
- for my mom, she is the best and she spoils me and the kids rotten
- for Jesus, the light of the world and restorer of my heart
it has been a rough year for us, but we have survived and I am so grateful
-

what we did today

what do you do on a rainy november day in the virginia beach area?
you go to the aquarium

a good time was had by all

Road trip

This afternoon we packed up the car and headed east to spend Thanksgiving with Jeff's extended family. We stopped halfway in Richmond and went shopping at Crate and Barrel. After hitting traffic we arrived safely and looking forward to spending the day with Jeff and the kids.

panicking

AHHHHH! 
I have a 10-15 page research proposal due a week from wednesday and after working on it for 3 hours today and who knows how many hours before today and i only have 3 pages done.
3 pages with 1 inch margin and double space is nothing.
Ahhhh, I hate this, working on this proposal is like pulling teeth, it is so hard and so long and just so, blah.
I gotta get this done ASAP and yet words just won't come.
I have an A in the class right now and this project is worth 30% of my grade, I want to keep my A, I am that kind of perfectionist and I want it done.
I can do it, I can do it, right?
Just got to stop panicking. . .

a night of fun

There is an artificial snow surface for snowboarding, skiing, and tubing near our house.  Jeff of course is always there to network and let people know about our store and all his time up there paid off.   We wanted to take Lance tubing so we headed up to the mountain (hill) and asked how much it would cost.  The girl at the front counter said 7 dollars an hour plus 5 dollars for the tube, which equates to 12 dollars an hour, a person.  Well even if we weren't poor, I was not about to pay 12 bucks for Lance to go tubing when he might only last 15 minutes, plus we knew Lance would not want to go by himself at first so we would need to purchase an hour for one of us, so that would be 24 dollars, way too much for tubing on a microscopic hill.  We were bummed.  We headed up to watch some snowboards and walk around the lodge.  They have been working on increasing the slope and Jeff wanted to see the improvements so he asked one of the employees he knows if we could walk up the hill in the gravel beside the slope, the employee said we could as long as we had signed waivers.  We headed down so I could sign the waiver and ran into a manager, Jeff was talking to them and explaining we came to go tubing, but couldn't afford the outrageous fee especially since we would only last about 15 minutes, well she helped us out and told the girl at the counter to give us a discounted rate.  So after climbing up the hill and enjoying the view of the city at night we got to go tubing.  It was so much fun.  Lance loved it, we threw Lily in a tube, she loved it, it was so much fun.  We went up and down for what seemed like forever and when everyone was tired we headed back home.  Well I am so thankful we got a deal on tubing because we only lasted 30 minutes.  It seemed so much longer than just 30 minutes, how do people last for an hour especially when you have to walk up a steep hill, it is cold outside, and you get a little wet while headed down?  So a good time was had by all and I hope that we can go again.

quite a year

I have been uploading pictures to snapfish for our annual family calendar and I am blown away by how much we did this year.   I am a glass half empty kind of person and so for me I look at this past year and see financial difficulties, the fire that destroyed the store, stress, illness and I forget about:
- our two trips to MD/ PA/ and northern VA
- our week at the beach
- our spring weekend trip to Wilmington
- our day trip to the transportation museum, the zoo, the parkway, the apple orchard, the strawberry patch, and the safari park
- our weekend trip to D.C
we have experienced a lot this past year and overall it was a good year.

new moon

Tonight I am going with a gaggle of women to see New Moon.
I can't believe I am going on opening night, that is so not me.
I am not a crazy fan, I am mainly going to watch my friends swoon and cry and be ridiculous.
I am interested to see this movie and hope I make it through- I HATED the first one.
So why am I going to see the second one?
I don't really know, peer pressure I guess, I wanted to be cool like all my friends.
Of all the books, New Moon was my favorite, I like Jacob, I wanted him to be the chosen one, not a vampire fan.
I am excited because it is girls' night out and after spending all week inside with these two monsters, even a cheesy movie sounds good.

Just got back from the movie and had a blast!  The movie was very entertaining, much better than I expected.  The audience was awesome, cheering and swooning, it was a lot of fun, it probably would not be as fun if it wasn't a packed theater with people who really got into it.  A whole bunch of us 11, to be exact did a girls' night out and did dinner and the movie, it was so much fun, I forget how much fun hanging out with the girls can be, I can't wait to do it again.  So tonight I got to pretend to be 17 again and out with my friends, drooling over a guy on the screen and laughing hysterically.  It is all good.

Thankful

1- two healthy children- even though they seem to have permanent runny noses
2- naptime- it is so quiet and nice
3- being able to stay-at-home while the kids are little
4- preschool, lance's vocabulary has increased and he loves the social interactions
5- dvr- love watching tv on my own time
6- Christmas- my love language is giving gifts so it is my favorite holiday
7- indoor plumbing- can't imagine life having to run outside in this cold rainy weather
8- that I am around in this century, i love my gadgets and modern amnenties
9- food to eat
10- freedom

15 Months

Ms. Lily is now 15 months old. 
She is getting so big so fast.
She is extremely mobile.
She can say bye-bye, uh-oh, momma, dadda, all aboard, and seems like she is on the verge to saying a whole lot more.
She loves to dance,
play with lance,
clean and pick up as well as make a big mess,
she keeps me on my toes and is a joy.

I am so thankful for my sweet baby girl and enjoying watching her grow.

over my head

My graduate class this semester is Research Methods and Applications and the final project- due in two weeks is writing a research proposal.  Tonight is the last night of class before the proposals are due and I am trying to get a lot of mine done today So someone can review it in class today, but it is so hard to get started.  I don't like the project, I am not crazy about the topic, and I don't like writing everything perfectly in APA guidelines.  It is like pulling teeth trying to sit down and get something done, it is all in my head, but it is so hard getting it down on paper, or I should say the computer screen. 
I am thankful though I took this class first so it is out of the way and done. 
Now if I can just get this done so I won't have to work on it over Thanksgiving!

sleep glorious sleep

Lily slept again all night last night, it was wonderful! 
Unfortunately Lance did not.
My poor buddy was coughing and hacking and just quite pitiful.
He was up for quite some time, now if we can just get him sleeping all night we will be one well rested happy family.

And totally random-
There is someone who is flying over the city in an airplane pulling a banner that has a picture of an aborted fetus and says "10 week abortion" with a 800 number.  Just saw it again out my window.  I am against abortion, but I am also against tactics like that.  Is that really effective?  Does that really change people's hearts?  Why doesn't this person or group who is probably from out of town use the money they are spending on fuel, lodging, food, and who knows what else to counsel women, show them love, support women who choose to have deliver their babies instead of aborting them.  I personally think changes happens through relationships and love, not through fear, hate, and gross images.  That's just my two cents, I am not saying I am right and I am not saying I'm wrong, I just think that there are better ways to make a change.

another beautiful day

Today is a good day!  
This morning we went grocery shopping then came home and had lunch.  After lunch we played outside and it was so beautiful.

If we didn't have all that rain last week I might have taken the sun and warm temperatures for granted.  I love being outside when it is warm and sunny.  I also love that Lily can do so many more things outside without me having to be right there, she is getting more and more independent which makes playing a lot more fun, it isn't Lily and Mommy playing with Lance, but it is more Lance and Lily playing with Mommy, much more fun.

So today is a really good day, not only because of the sun, but because Lily slept all night last night! 
First time in weeks, maybe a months, she got in a bad habit of getting up a lot.  It could be a fluke, but I set up a humidifier in her room and I don't know if it was the moisture or the sound, but she didn't wake up at all which makes me feel so much better.  I have been able to handle the kids, have so much more energy, don't feel like I am in a fog, though I still lack the motivation to get everything super tidy and do the laundry- saving that for when it is too dark outside or raining.


So today is good and I am so thankful.  

why does it have to get dark so early?

Today was so warm and sunny.
We spent all afternoon outside and didn't want to come in, but we had to since it was dark.
I wish it would stay like today all winter, but then there would be no snow and Christmas isn't Christmas without coldness.
Okay, so maybe I need to rethink things.
Maybe. .

Free Friday Night Fun

We are always looking for something different and fun to do especially on weekend nights when it can be depressing to be sitting home alone.

Last night we took a chance on something fun and something free.
We went to the train station to see the Amtrak train arrive from D.C..  Though it may only be fun if you have a train fanatic in your family.

We hit the jackpot since we got to see the Amtrak arrive, but we also got to see a freight train with double high containers pass through, well actually some passed partially through, it was so long that when it stopped wherever it did, there were still cars in the station and as far as  you could see.

 (Lance and Jeff watching the Amtrak arriving into the station)

It was so cool to see the trains up close and to speculate what might be in the containers especially since the logos on the containers looked foreign.  There was one container that had something on it which we couldn't tell if it  was a design or letters.

The train station had something for everyone- Lance and Lily were fascinated with the trains and Jeff and I enjoyed people watching.  It was kind of like watching people at an airport, but not since we were outside and there were no planes.

While waiting for the train, we looked at the Amtrak map and dreamed about where we would like to visit via train.  The city's "nature center" is located in the train station so we had fun looking in the windows and watching the large lizard and possum in their cages.  

The only downside to our night out is that the kids went to bed much later than normal and unfortunately got up earlier then normal.  So our hour of fun last night, has left me with two grumpy, overly tired children today, but it was worth it, it was fun to dream about taking the train across the country, you know like back in the "old days"\

it's a dark time

life has been tough this last year and I can't wait for things to start looking up because I am so tired of looking down. 
I listened to a podcast yesterday and Joseph was mentioned, Joseph went through a whole lot and everyone but Joseph prospered and was blessed, but in the end Joseph was blessed and he prospered and if he hadn't gone through all he did he would not have been the man he was.  Now applying that to myself. . .
It can be difficult to keep my sights on the bigger picture when I feel like I am drowning in the right now. 
It is also hard to know that everything is going to be okay when it seems hopeless.
There is a plan for me, for me to prosper, and right now I am being molded and refined and though it is painful, the result will be wonderful.
I think I like the happy-go-lucky-everything-wonderful Christianity better than the real, painful, growing faith in Jesus that I have.

my son, the bully

This morning when I dropped Lance off at preschool his teacher stopped me and told me that she was having problems with Lance being aggressive towards the other children.  She thinks that he gets frustrated that he can't communicate verbally with them and so he lashes out.  I am so embarrassed that my kid is the bad one.  It is bad enough he has such a limited vocabulary, but then to add aggressive makes me sad.  He can be pretty mean to his sister, but I had hoped that he wasn't like that at school, but apparently his aggression is coming out at school too.  As if I don't already have enough stress in my life.  Can just 1 thing be easy, why does everything have to be so darn difficult?
Also, on the Lance front, we have been having potty training problems.  I thought we were good to go, then he got constipated and didn't want to go and now he keeps going in his pants and not even trying to make it to the bathroom, very frustrating and gross.So like everything in my life, it is two steps forward, one step back.

the facebook dilemma

 I like most people have a facebook account and I have a whole lot of friends, maybe not a whole lot to you, but a lot to me.
Some "friends" are people I went to high school with.
Some "friends" are family members.
Some "friends" are fellow bloggers.
Some "friends" are neighbors.
Some "friends" are people I have worked with at various jobs.
Some "friends" are students I taught or teachers I taught with.
Some "friends" are people I went to college with or met while I was in school.
Some "friends" are people I go to church with.
Some "friends" are people I use to go to church with.
Some "friends" are people I don't have a category for.
Some "friends" are people I see regularly and are my "real" friends.
Combined I have quite a few friends on facebook and because friends can read what you post and do I feel like I need to edit myself and I don't use facebook for all that facebook could be since all my so called "friends" would see, like my mom.
A friend of mine, she has a 100 friend rule and she edits her friends periodically because over 100 friends is too many friends and unnecessary for her.
I totally agree with her and want to do that, but I can't.  I think I have been wanting to edit friends for months, yet I still haven't.
There are quite a few students of mine I could edit and they would not know the difference, yet I find it interesting to see what they are doing every now and then especially now since they are graduating from college, getting married, having kids of their own, etc.
Also, there is a part of me that feels good having 300 friends, especially on days when I feel lonely or down, though I know not all of these 300 hundred friends are real friends, the numbers make me feel popular.
Then there is the nosy part of me that likes to see what is going on in other people's lives and wouldn't get to do that if i edited 2/3 of my friends, because most of my true friends don't post that often, what would i read?  where would i get my entertainment from?
Then there is the whole issue of hurting someone's feelings, if i un-friend  you then you might notice, be offended and for some people on my friend list this could blow up and get ugly.
So I am left with a dilemma, I don't want to miss out on the fun, but I would like to be more of myself and have some social networking freedom.  

yea for progress

sadly it has been almost a month since the great re-arrange in our house began and I am almost finished getting everything either put away or thrown out.   the new playroom/den/whatever looks nice, it doesn't have a pile in the corner waiting to be gone through, almost everything has a home.
oh it feels so good to have things organized and with everything with a home so the house won't look like a bomb went off on it.
so one room in the house is coming together, now I just have to get the other 7 rooms to fall into place too.

will i really. . .

look back at these days and miss them?
I was driving to Walmart this morning for groceries and was thinking of how others have been telling me that one day I will look back fondly of these days when the kids are this age and this period of my life and miss it.
"They," whoever that really is, says that your memory is selective and poor at best which would explain why I would look back at these days fondly.
Seriously?
After a night when Lily got up every 2 hours and a hectic morning of trying to get stuff done when all the kids wanted to do was trash the place doesn't make much of a case for this stage in life with high stress and personal time and space being extremely limited

But then the kids do something cute or sweet or just something that melts your heart and you never want them to grow older until they take the box of legos, dump them out on the floor and just walk away.

.

we're under attack

Lance yelled for Jeff and told him that there was a wasp in Lily's room. 
Well one wasp multiplied into many in a matter of minutes. 
While Jeff was looking for something to kill the one wasp, I discovered an additional two wasps in the window and three or four trying to get in.  We looked in our bedroom window and discovered one wasp in that window.  We headed outside, Jeff out the back and the kids and I out the front and noticed that wasps were swarming the house, especially the north-west side of the house.  We went back in the house to discover that in Lily's room there were four wasps and in our bedroom window there were three, for a total of 7 wasps.  It is November, what on Earth?
Fortunately we have plastic on the windows to keep the cold air which kept the wasps from getting to us.  We had to help my mom with some yard work and when we returned I discovered that there are three wasps in each window now, so one somehow got away.
I used the google and discovered the wasp chaos was mating- great, more wasps, as if we don't already have a wasp problem.   Today's wasp invasion just gives me one more reason why we desperately need new windows.

a day of trains

Today we went to the Transportation Museum and had a blast looks at all the trains, Lance was in heaven.  They also had a model train exhibit which both kids enjoyed and couldn't get enough of. 
We also went to the Fresh Market and hit the jackpot since it was Thanksgiving sampling day, oh they had some good food, if I had money I would order their Thanksgiving dinner, it was delicious, and I am very picky.  Good times, okay so maybe November isn't so bad after all.

not fan of november

I dislike November, I really do.
It gets dark early, which is noticeable because the time just changed and every evening it get darker earlier and earlier, which I dislike, i love the sun.
It gets colder, I am a spring and summer girl.
The germs seem to come out and play.
We spend more time indoors because I am not acclimated to the colder weather yet and can't handle the colder air, by January, I will be outside no matter what, but now I am a chicken.
We have the least amount of money and get behind on the bills, this is the third year in a row that we have no money and unfortunately we are at the mercy of our customers who don't seem to be buying.  Most money that comes into the shop gets turned around for inventory for Christmas because Christmas makes us or breaks us.  We have been barely treading water and right now we are drowning and praying that Christmas will get us out of the water.

My allergies are horrible, it is as bad as pollen season since now it is mold and mildew from the fallen leaves and rain.  I have been sinus yucky for weeks now.
I don't like fallen leaves, more specifically the two willow oak trees in my neighbors yard that blow litter our yard and gutters with their thin leaves that are difficult to rake and blow and get everywhere including the house and car.
and that is why I don't like November, well until Thanksgiving, then I like it because it is almost Christmas.  Only a few more weeks to go!

new title, slighty new look

Ever since Lily arrived on the scene, the title, "life with lance" was just not cutting it, adding and the "lily bean too," was just a temporary addition until a new name could develop
so "embracing chaos" fits life so much better especially all that we have gone through in a year:
-the economic downturn which killed our business and put us in a financial blackhole
-the craziness of having two kids, especially one that is speech delayed so everything is a guessing game
and the big one:
-the fire that destroyed our store, our main source of income
the last couple of years has been really tough and i can say I am learning to embrace the chaos, learning to bend, give, and not let life's craziness make me crazy, though some days I feel like I am going crazy
so life with lance is now embracing chaos,
hopefully life will get calmer, though i doubt it!

our fish has 9 lives

We have a little fish, his name is moe-moe and I do believe he is related to cats and has 9 lives.
He doesn't always get fed everyday and I am pretty slack about keeping his water clean, and despite less the perfect living conditions he can survive almost anything Lance does in the name of love.
On numerous occasions Lance has given him crumbs of his snack such as cheerios and cracker crumbs, which doesn't make for clean water and might bother the fish's digestive system, as well as his gills. Also, he has survived numerous taps on the glass from fingers as well as trains, utensils, and anything else that little hands can grab.
Yesterday he survived, or at least so far he has survived the worst attack/attempt at love yet. I was fixing dinner and Lance was watching moe-moe who lives in the dining room. Lance came into the kitchen and told me that moe-moe smelled like poop. I said I know that I needed to clean his bowl and that is just what fish are like. Well being the slacker mom that I am some days had left the kitchen spray cleaner on the china cabinet after last cleaning off the dining room table and in reach of Lance. Lance, I guess didn't like moe-moe's dirty water and smell so he wanted to help clean it up in the way that he knew how. Lance sprayed cleaner into the bowl. I fortunately heard the sound of the spray bottle and immediately scooped out moe-moe with a cup and cleaned out his bowl right away hoping that the cleaning spray hadn't done any damage to the poor guy. So the next day, moe-moe seems to have survived his clash with spray cleaner and has a nice clean bowl to swim in. Then again, maybe there is something natural and not as harsh to the green works cleaners which saved moe-moe from instant chemical death. So at least one life down, who knows how many more are left.

there is not enough time

in the day to get everything done that I want.
Today I am studying for a quiz I have in my graduate class- Research Methods and Applications.
Fun times, fun times, note heavy sarcasm.
I made an 97 on the first quiz so I will be bummed if I do poorly on this one which I feel I may considering I don't know the material as much as I would like, it just wasn't interesting.
So ready for this class to be over with and I am not looking forward to the HUGE project due in a couple of weeks, I just can't get started.

Lily, the adventurer

Lily is so different than Lance, she is my little adventurer. Sometimes a good thing, sometimes not.
I know that all children are different, and learned in Human Growth and Development that usually two siblings are polar opposites, but my children seem to be from different sides of the universe!
Lily can be a terror! She won't sit in a high chair, she hates to be put in her car seat. She never sits still. She is fearless. She is not afraid of strangers or new places and will walk away from me and doesn't care if I am no longer in sight (Lance always keeps me in view and freaks out if I am not). I thought girls were calmer, laid back, not mine. This morning at the library she was on a mission to pull off as many books off the shelves as humanly possible. In trying to escape from me she ran behind the circulation desk. She is a walking tornado destroying everything in her path. Yesterday afternoon there was a huge crane down the street moving a shed from the back of a truck to someone's yard. Lil' was constantly climbing out of the stroller, trying to walk into the road. and was generally all over the place. I hope this hyperactivity is just a stage and will pass because when she can't fit in the sling anymore I won't be able to take her anywhere in public. Speaking of sling, she is figuring out how to wiggle her way out of it. I wish I knew where she got all of her energy because I could really use some.

monday confessional

Some days I strongly dislike my 3 year old, that's not right.
I love him dearly, but some days I strongly dislike being around him and just want to be far, far away.
Today has been a very trying day and I am so thankful that both kids are napping at the same time because I just don't think I could handle another minute.
I know that this stage will pass, one day.
Why I want to pull my hair out:
This morning Lily had my digital camera and had it on, Lance tried to grab it away from her and since he came at her with force the poor camera went flying in the air landed on the hardwood floor with the lens open and now doesn't work.
Before nap we went for a walk, Lance insisted on taking his lawnmower with him, after five minutes he didn't want to walk anymore. Lily wanted to walk and push the lawnmower, but anytime she touched it he would jump up and hit her. The whole possessiveness is very difficult to deal with.
Then there is the whole sleeping situation, I don't know how it happened, but Lance has gotten into some bad sleeping habits and I don't know how to resolve them. He has to have someone in the room in order to go to sleep and if he gets up at all in the middle of the night he won't go back to sleep in his bed, so most nights he ends up in our bed. I know we should be stricter, but we are so tired and can't deal with the battle of wills at 3 am.
And I could go on about how the little guy has been terrorizing his sister and irritating me, but I need to let it go and enjoy the quiet while I have it. Some days I am ready to find a job and go back to work and away from the chaos, at least for a few hours.

Halloween 09

This Halloween we didn't do Light Up the Night, which I was really bummed about until the rain started. It was a rainy Halloween night which would have made for a miserable Light Up the Night. After dinner and handing out some candy to trick-or-treaters, I took the kids trick-or-treating around the neighborhood. Lance had fun, Lily on the other hand was a mess. Lily didn't understand the concept of trick-or-treating, she wanted to go in each house, I guess she just wanted to be social. One house had a baby about her age and she really wanted to stay and play. After getting tired of carrying a grumpy Lily we headed back home. We then headed over to my mom's neighborhood to show off the kids in their costumes to her neighbors. Overall trick-or-treating was disappointing, the weather was bad, Jeff was gone at an event, Lily was a terror and it was hard working carrying Lily around in her over sized skunk costume.
I was ready for Halloween to be over with by 7 last night. This year Halloween seemed to last for days. Thursday was the costume parade and sing-a-long at Lance's preschool then Friday was a costume parade and trick-or-treating at the library. We did get a lot of use out of our ridiculously priced Thomas costume since he did wear it to three events plus countless times around the house and hopefully he can wear it again next year. Hopefully Lily can wear the skunk costume again next year, Lance got two years out of it and hopefully she will too.

The skunk costume is quite full and Lily kept toppling over.

Lance as Thomas the Tank Engine and showing off his engine Henry.

Lily as the "lil stinker" skunk

So Halloween is over with and Thanksgiving is right around the corner, then it is time for the crazy Christmas season, my favorite time of the year!