houdini with clothing

lily needs to do more of this:
so there will be less of this:

or maybe just consistent hot weather so we won't have to worry about pants anymore!

lily doesn't do the traditional crawl, it is a crab, kind of drag a leg kind of thing that usually results in her legs and her long pant outfits getting all in a tangle or in the case above, both legs in one leg of the outfit. I don't know how she does it, she is getting to be a little Houdini with clothes, but she does.

maybe a tad OCD?

This would be a t-shirt drawer with the t-shirts folded and put away in color order.

and with closer inspection, you can see the design is facing up for identification purposes.

Though it at first it seems more like OCD, I beg to differ, I think it is more extreme organization in response to weekly refolding and organizing of the t-shirt drawer. How else is one to fit 40+ t-shirts in one drawer and keep them fairly neat day in and out? I don't know exactly how many t-shirts Jeff owns, I stopped counting once at 45 and he managed to always have a clean t-shirt during our experiment a year ago when I didn't wash any of his t-shirts from Ash Wednesday to Easter.

I realized this afternoon that this is one example of my extreme organization that I have developed in the last few years to cut down on clutter and weekly chores.
in other words, something totally random that would give me a giggle to recount one day in the future!

what's missing from this picture?

the living room rug!
why?
because we are going to be home for the next couple of days and we are going to tackle potty training! I don't want anything to happen to my beautiful Flor so it has been taken slightly apart and is being put in safe spot until the threat of being peed on has decreased. sorry lily, not a fun play area, but you got make sacrifices for those you love. wish me luck, this could be tough, lance is one stubborn non-verbal three year old, but he has a hefty reward, a Thomas the Tank Engine set if we master the potty. No matter the outcome, I know I will have clean floors when this is all said and done.

it's like a car accident on the side of the road

You don't want to look, yet you can't turn your head away and focus on the road. Last night I watched the premier of Jon and Kate plus 8 and it was like driving by a car accident. It was sad. Over the years I will admit I have watched the show, not necessarily regularly, but I have watched the show when nothing else was on and I gave in to watching tv instead of doing something productive or constructive. I have found it entertaining to watch the adventures of such a large, complicated family and I am amazed at how they can handle 8 kids when most days I am overwhelmed with only two. I can't imagine the stress and craziness of life with that many children, whom I should note are all the same age, well mostly. After last night's episode I don't know whether I will continue to tune in. Watching some one's marriage fall apart is not entertainment, I would say it is quite depressing. They seem to prove the thought that there is a cost or consequence for fame and money. Though none of us really know what may be going on, it makes me want to shake both of them and say "wake up and smell the coffee. both of you need to stop being selfish and work on your relationship. fame and money is not worth the breakup of your marriage." Then there is the other part of me which is wondering, how much is real and how much is just a ploy to boost the rating and getting suckers like me watching the show? I guess only time will tell.

i heart FLOR and my dyson to clean it with

I have had my FLOR for almost 2 months now and I love it more everyday. It makes the room seem so much bigger and brighter. It is so easy to clean up and vacuum, it is the best floor covering we have ever had. Okay, I am starting to sound like a FLOR advertisement or something, but it really is awesome. I also love my Dyson ball that I bought, I am amazed at how lightweight and easy to use it is. I am so thankful that I got the vacuum to keep the FLOR nice because our old vacuum would have just pushed around the dirt around. So the FLOR and the Dyson have changed our life a bit. I sit and play on the living room floor now. We don't wear shoes in the house to keep the rug beautiful. We also vacuum daily which is the biggest life change. I use to only vacuum when absolutely necessary, but now I vacuum all the time, it is kind of scary what a clean freak I have become and I blame it all on the vacuum. Also, Lance isn't afraid of this vacuum anymore, in fact most of the time we are fighting over whose turn it is to vacuum, we've come a long way. I am the queen of buyers remorse and using money on bills and saving instead of what I really long for, but these two large purchases are regret-free and I am thankful everyday for them.

no pictures

I am so bummed, we went on a mini-adventure yesterday and I didn't get any pictures! I checked the battery before we left and it appeared to be full capacity so I thought we were good to go . On the way to the mountains Lance asked to see the camera, I gave it to him for a few minutes. He was really good and returned right away, shocker. At one point the view was gorgeous so I wanted to take a picture, I turned the camera on and the change battery message came up. AH! no battery, no pictures! I was bummed, I was not going to be able to take any pictures of our day. I was even more disappointed when we stopped at the overlook for our picnic lunch and the scenery was gorgeous and no camera to capture it. I also wanted to take a picture of our unusual picnic set up. It was rather chilly yesterday despite being the middle of may and it was incredibly windy up on the mountain. I hate cold, I especially hate it when it is windy and cold, so to make the best of a bad situation, we had our picnic in the back of our Subaru. I am sure we looked kind of silly, all 4 of us crammed in the back of the car with the double stroller sitting outside and with the hatchback partially down to block the wind. I should note that Jeff started his lunch sitting on the curb beside the car, but once he discovered the temperature difference in the car he quickly climbed in. After we ate, Jeff and Lance played on the rocks for a few minutes while Lily and I hung out in the car, yeah, I am a wimp, but I really hate to be cold. We then all piled back in the car and headed down the mountains to a valley town that had a store that was going out of business. Jeff got quite a few good deals on bicycle parts for the bicycles he is reconditioning, so the trip was successful. While Jeff was looking at bicycles parts, I was chasing Lance around the store, not fun, but then we saw it. It was a like a beacon out in the parking lot, a fire truck. And the angels rejoiced! I took both kids and we went to go look at the truck outside, thus taking Lance out of the store which he was becoming a nuisance in and giving Jeff more time to look around. Once again, I wish I would have had my camera with me, Lance and the fire truck would have made a great picture. I should add that this is the second time we have encountered a fire truck in a parking lot and I haven't had my camera, maybe third times a charm, right? After circling the fire truck twice we went back inside to grab Jeff and hopefully leave. We then headed towards home. We made a quick stop at the first "green" Harris Teeter in the area where we grabbed a snack and used the bathroom. I wish we had a Harris Teeter in town, I love that they have "with small children" parking, this one had windows so it was bright and sunny in it, it was so nice looking and clean. Maybe it is a good thing that we don't have one, I might spend too much money! After enjoying the grocery store, are we pathetic or what? we made it back home. Our day trip was not anything extraordinary, but it was nice to get out of town and enjoy time together. Hopefully next time it will be warmer.

how life has changed with 2 kids and no money

Jeff and I were taking a walk the other night and we were discussing how our life has changed since we have had two kids and the economy has tanked. Some changes have been good and others have been rough, but I think the changes have made us better people.

#1- meal planning
we use to go to dinner at least once a week, and lunch and breakfast out were fairly frequently too. Now we go out to dinner probably once a month or at most every other week and it is usually something inexpensive, not a sit-down, real restaurant. Now I plan meals a week or two in advance, go to the grocery get ingredients and stick pretty close to our strict schedule. Meals, at least dinner, isn't spontaneous anymore, but that isn't at all bad. I don't have excuses about not feeling like making dinner because it doesn't require thought, it is already planned for me and usually I have everything I need to make it, no daily trips to the grocery store. We have less waste because I am buying exactly what I need and not just a lot of stuff that I may or may not use. Also, our grocery bill is less because I only buy what I need and I can plan meals according to the activities of the week and what is on sale. Since we are eating in so much we are better about eating leftovers which also creates less waste. Meal planning requires a bit more work and time at the beginning of each week, but I am starting to enjoy it. I try and incorporate a new recipe every week to keep things interesting. I am also starting to get interested in freezer meals and need to branch out a bit more, get past casserole style meals. We eat a lot more variety of foods and healthier foods now too. Of all the changes in our life, this one is all good!

#2- friday nights are just another night
it use to be that friday nights were something different, we would usually go out to eat, go shopping or do some activity, now it doesn't look much different than thursday or monday night, but that is okay. we don't really have the extra money to go shopping and out to eat and with lily's bedtime being around 8 there isn't a lot of time to go out and about. this change is sometimes a little depressing come friday night when we are taking our walk thinking about all the people who are out enjoying the weekend night, but going out just to go out is pointless so we stay in. though it is hard, our babies won't be in this life stage forever and before we know it friday night might be movie night again or go out night, time will tell.

#3- we never rent or see movies anymore
this is sad, but true. we rarely rent movies or go out and see movies anymore. i can't stay up late and by the time we get the kids asleep and start the movie I am drifting off to sleep. finding time and money to go see a movie in a theatre is difficult. not to mention the fact that our ghetto city doesn't currently have a stadium seating theatre and I am not spending $8 or 9 on a movie in a bad theatre or driving an hour to see a movie.

#4- i just don't run in and grab something quick
I avoid quick trips for one or two things at a store at all costs. getting both kids out of the car, lily in the sling, holding onto lance, getting the one thing we need, making the purchase while keeping control of lance then loading everyone back up in the car takes a ridiculous amount of work. heck, i don't go shopping anymore, i go purchasing!

#5- we use to take weekend trips places
now i don't want to go anywhere unless we are staying for more than 2 full days for several reasons. my kids don't really like the car and so road trips can be stressful, I like a few days to rest and regain sanity before travelling again. the amount of stuff needed for both my children is ridiculous, I prefer to pack my house up for a long trip, not a there and back again kind of deal.
then again, we have little money to go anywhere.

#6- this is lance and lily's house
not jeff and sarah's house, evidence is in every room
need i say more?

#7- we use to sleep in
if a child isn't up early then I am up to get some solitude/ alone time in because once the day starts, even using the bathroom is not alone time

i know there is more, but this is it for now

two little monkeys jumping in the bed

lily was up quite a few times last night and by 9 this morning she was ready for a morning nap. we all went upstairs and I put lily in her bed. lance was in his room then came out and looking for lily. I told him that she was in her bed trying to go to sleep and to leave her alone. I was in my bathroom putting my contacts in and trying to get ready for the day since I only had to deal with one child at the moment. Of course lance did not leave lily alone to sleep, he climbed in bed with her and tried to teach her how to jump in the bed. lily tried to jump as you can see her little legs moving, but fortunately she isn't quite there yet. fortunately no one was hurt and they had a good time together. It was nice to see them having fun together instead of trying to keep them separate and out of each others toys.

the best day ever, at least in lance's opinion

If Lance could/would talk he would tell you that today was the best day ever.
This morning the four of us got going early and hit up some yard sales in hopes of finding some bicycles for Jeff to fix up and sell. I did not anticipate Lance's new found love for hitting up the yard sales.
As we were all getting out of the car at the first one I asked Lance what he was looking and he made his train sound and hand motion, so he had a mission, finding trains. The first one didn't have any, but the next one did and Lance was very excited. He found a Thomas the Tank Engine toy brand new, in the box which he just had to have. He fortunately did not see the ride-on Thomas train and track that was still in the box because if he would have, we would have never been able to tear him away and today would not have been the best day ever in his eyes. The next yard sale didn't have anything, but the following one had a "Christmas Express," which got him all excited because find the trains was becoming a game. As we were walking up to the next house we of course asked Lance if he thought we might find a train there, he nodded enthusiastically and started his search. He started getting excited and it took us forever to figure out what he was all excited about, he found a train, I couldn't believe it, this kid is good. I don't know how he saw it, but underneath a table and a good distance away was a small ceramic train pot and he immediately went nuts. The owners of the train pot were so taken aback with his enthusiasm and excitement they let him have it, just one more reason why today was a great day for Lance. We stopped by a couple more sales, but didn't really find anything noteworthy. At the first yard sale there were some bicycles, a little pricey, but we went back and made a deal and bought one of two. Jeff is hoping to be able to resell it for a bit more after tuning it up and replacing any needed parts, so this morning was a success, or hopefully will be for Jeff. We stopped by one more sale, but it didn't look too promising so I just jumped out of the car to quickly look around, Lance was so upset that he couldn't get out, he was really getting into this whole experience. We headed back home and played outside until it was time to head out for an elementary school carnival. I was excited Lance was finally old enough to go and have fun at an event like this. Lance loved playing the games and was so excited to win a goldfish. He insisted on carrying the goldfish around and right now it is on his bookcase beside his bed while he naps. We need to transfer it to a bowl, but I don't have any conditioner. I sure hope this goldfish lives longer than a few hours or days because he loves it! He named it moe-moe. He also got to try jump in one of those inflatable bouncer and loved it so much he would not get out. Fortunately the man working the bouncer let him stay in for a long time and made the bigger kids wait until he was out before letting them in so he had a blast. Lance also got to try cotton candy for the first time, my favorite carnival snack! After the carnival we headed home where he is now snoozing away probably dreaming of trains, inflatable bouncers, and cotton candy. I hope we can come up with something fun to do for dinner so the fun can continue.
I am so thankful that Jeff took off the morning so he could go with us because it would not be the same without him and I know that Lance really enjoyed having him with us. My mom always says when you kids are happy you are happy and when your kids are sad you are sad, I was reminded today, that is so true, I am so happy because today we gave Lance the best day ever.

it's the little things

that determine whether it is going to be a good or bad day.

i thought today was going to be a rough one, but it is the little things that will turn this day around

we FINALLY had some potty success!

Lance peed and with a little convincing thanks to a bit of constipation (TMI) pooped on the potty today!

Finally the breakthrough I have prayed for.

Also, the sun has finally decided to show up again, thank the Lord because I was going crazy with all the rain we have been having.

Now if we can just get some increase in business at the store, it will be all good.

keeping a positive attitude

to this whole potty training thing, amazingly.
Since it has been nothing but raining lately we have been working on potty training in the afternoons.
We have made absolutely no progress, but we try until we run out of underwear, pathetic I know, but I am not frustrated, I can laugh about it, and it will happen, it has to, right?
Yesterday was an awesome, rainy afternoon. Lance went down first, so I got to spend some alone time with Lily, then a wee bit of alone time for myself, then Lance woke up and we had some alone time, it was all good. So when he woke up from nap I gave him two options- underwear or diapers. He chose underwear. So thanks to my friend Meredith's suggestion we wore our underwear and every 30 minutes we would sit on the potty for 5-10 minutes, hoping and praying we would time it just right. Well we were hitting close to the 2 hour no pee mark and I was getting nervous. He had just sat on the potty for close to 10 minutes and my new sixth pee sense was telling me that at any second we were going to have action, but I hated for him to sit any longer with nothing so I let him go. I need to trust my new sixth sense, so far I have been able to predict 4 of the 5 accidents we have had, today I will trust myself. Lance walked into the playroom and walked out within minutes going with a large shout "OH!" You guessed, he finally went. I cleaned up and asked him which he wanted to wear, he chose underwear and he went off to play. We were close to the thirty minute mark and something told me we might need to try earlier, but once again I ignored my feelings and the next thing I know there is a puddle forming underneath Lance. We were out of clean underwear at this point so he had to return to diapers and yesterday was yet another day with no success. I wasn't as frustrated yesterday as I have been which is good, I just wish we could have one success, So despite no pee in the potty I think Lance is really starting to hate that wet underwear feeling which is some progress especially coming from the boy who would choose to stay in his diaper until it leaks out or his poopy diaper as long as possible. So despite no progress, I am not discouraged, this is good.

bathing suit season

In two weeks we hopefully will be going down to Wilmington/ Wrightsville Beach for a few days. I just went down there in April, but this time it will be with Jeff and hopefully it will be warm enough to swim, at least in the pool. Well at the beach one needs, at least in my opinion a bathing suit, and thanks to Lily I don't have an appropriate one. Despite my best efforts, okay not best efforts, but pretty good efforts, my tummy did not return to normal after having Lily, which was disappointing since it did after Lance. So I need to find a new bathing suit and I didn't realize how difficult that was going to be. Am I the only 30 year old that needs a suit that covers up, but isn't something your mother would wear? Is there some lotion that really does work that I don't know about that returns the skin to its before baby appearance? I have seen a few products out there, but I can't afford a $50 lotion, and I don't know if it really works.

get smart

After four years teaching high school biology I was burned out.
Though having the summers and snow/ice days off was nice, it was really hard and I really don't want to go back.
I can't handle the parents, but I love biology and teaching.
I need flexibility with having small children because I don't want to go back to work full time and be gone all day.
I don't really want to work at all, but it would help to bring in some income and we are talking a job a few years down the road, not in the next year.
I have wanted to teach at the community college level for some time now and with Lily getting older and no plans right now for more children I decided to pursue my goal of getting my graduate degree (though my actual goal from high school was a doctorate, a masters is a step in that direction).
This afternoon I called up the community college to ask them what type of masters degree or requirements I would need to teach Biology at the community college. Then I called a small college in town and requested information on their graduate program, one that hopefully might have the required 18 credit hours in Biology I would need for community college.
They are having an information session next Tuesday and I am signed up to go.
I am excited about possibly pursuing a job with flexibility and using my degree again.
I am nervous about trying to handle graduate level biology classes, my degree is in Biology, but I also graduated 9 years ago, I am a little rusty and so much has changed, thanks Human Genome Project.
I am also a bit nervous about trying to complete the work with two small children running around, Biology is a lot of facts, lab time, and studying in the lab and not necessarily at home.
I am excited though about learning again, about using my brain, because lately it has been a bit fried. I might actually have something to talk about at dinner or with friends other than how many dirty diapers I changed that day.
I have a long way to go, I look forward to the journey.

water in the valley

A wise friend told me that though the valley is hard, you can find water in the valley. She was speaking of spiritual valleys and mountains, but the same applies to motherhood and life right now. I found some water in this valley of motherhood.
First, Lance totally blew me away last night. We decided to go for a walk. I threw the keys and my cell phone in lance's side of the stroller since he was going to be walking most of the way, or at least I hoped so. As we were pulling away from the house Lily grabbed my keys and Lance sat down on his side of the stroller, I didn't think about my cell phone until Lance got out of the stroller and I needed to check the time. I looked in the seat and didn't find it and started to panic and that is when Lance saved the day. He walked towards the back of the stroller, leaned down and pulled my cell phone out of the basket. I remember him putting something in the basket before we left on our walk, but I didn't realize that it was the cell phone. I was blown away that he was paying attention to the conversation and he got out the phone right away. I was so proud of my little man. He knew that the cell phone was important and put it in basket and then got it out when I needed it. It is moments like this when I feel just overwhelmed by the love I have for Lance and I wonder how I could ever get frustrated with him, though I do.
The other water came from an idea Jeff had. Our house has two bedrooms upstairs and two downstairs. Lance's room and our bedroom is upstairs. Lily's bedroom is downstairs, though her crib is currently in our bedroom. The other bedroom downstairs is a playroom/guest room/office. Currently there is no adult space and Jeff and I both have felt that we have no area to ourselves, but don't know how to remedy the problem, but we do now. I hate the thought of Lily being downstairs all by herself, all alone, makes me sad, but I won't feel so bad if both Lance and her were downstairs and that is what our idea is all about. We would stay upstairs and then move Lance downstairs and then create a guest room/office upstairs in Lance's old room, that way Jeff and I would have our own space. I would have space to work on the bills and crafts and Jeff would have space to work on business stuff and we would have our own space. Our own little retreat, a place to get away from children, it sounds wonderful. I can't wait! We would not need a playroom because Lance would have a space to play on the main floor, his bedroom. I am not sure when we will make the big move, but the idea gives me some hope, lifts a bit of the weight that it on my shoulders. I would love to move to a bigger house, but right now money is non-existent, so this re-arranging will change things up and hopefully make it feel like a bigger house and hopefully will make the space we do have more usable. I like change.

yard sale fun

My mom, her best friend, and her best friend's mother were all going to hit up this subdivision that has lots of yard sales this morning she asked if I wanted to tag along. Hmmm, sleep in or get up early and go around to yard sales that may or may not have something I need. I couldn't decided so I went to bed and figure if I was awake in time I would go, if not I would stay in. Well, at 6:55 I was awake so I got dressed, got Lily dressed, and met up with my mom to hit up the yard sales.
I have to say, it was a lot of FUN!
Not only did I have a great time I ran into a lot of people.
I ran into several people from my old church that I hadn't seen in YEARS! It was so good to see Tom, the greeter, he is such a sweet old man, I miss seeing him every Sunday morning. I saw a few acquaintances of friends and Jeff's. I saw one of my dance instructors from when I started taking dance again after college, it was funny we recognized each other, but couldn't figure out who we knew each other, and it took awhile to figure out how we knew each other, but it was good reminscing.
I didn't realize getting up early on Saturday morning was such a social event.
I got some good buys too.
I got a sleeper, and outfit, and toy for Lily. I got ten books for $3.25 for both kids, and most of these books didn't look like they had ever been opened. I got three hot wheels/matchbox vehicles in the boxes, never opened for potty training rewards for Lance. I got a grater for cheese for free at one house that was just giving stuff away. I found an I Spy vehicles book for Lance and a Thomas the Tank Engine Christmas ornament for him too. Oh and another sun car window thing for Lily's side of the car. My best find was a bicycle for Jeff for $30, hopefully he will be able to fix it up and sell it for a $150 or $200. I had a great time and can't wait to hit up some more yard sales in the coming weeks and help my mom with one this summer too.
So I had a good time getting out, seeing people, shopping for dirt cheap, and letting Jeff and Lance have some time just the two of them a.k.a. letting me have some Lance-free time.
Oh yeah, I am absolutely amazed at some of the junk people try and sell! Such as the the thermos you get for FREE at the hospital, the having a baby book you get for FREE at the OB office, the board books you get for FREE at the hospital when you have a baby which have the sticker says that they were a gift, the children's meal toys and books, and other FREE things, does anyone buy that stuff? Some stuff was really nasty or junky looking, such as the rusty spray paint, who wants rusty spray paint? Some stuff was really random, one house had a box of at least 20 viewmasters of various styles, were they hoping they would be worth something one day? My favorite ridiculous find was a set of fake snakes with a sale price tag from target of 48 cents, but when I asked how much I was told they were 50 cents, it would be cheaper to get them at Target! The ridiculous items just made the shopping adventure that more interesting and definitely kept me entertained. I don't look down on anyone and what they were selling, I am just curious people's mindset, me I give away anything I wouldn't buy myself, I seem to have a very high standard, maybe I could make more money with a lower standard, hmmm, something to think about.

in a valley of motherhood

This week has been rough and tough and hasn't brought out the best in me.
I would definitely say I am in a valley right now, waiting for a mountaintop.

1st- Lily seems to think I am a chew toy and seems to want to test out the sharpness of her teeth on me, not fun at all. I had a rough start nursing both kids and right now I feel as though I am in those first few weeks again and it stinks. I am sore and dread feeding times, but this time I am a bit trapped because Lily won't take a bottle or cup, where did I go wrong with that one?

2nd- Lance is not talking and this week has been ultra frustrating with that. If I hear one other person say that he is just going to start anytime or when he ready or not to worry that he will I think I might scream. Yes I know he will one day talk, but he isn't now and it is frustrating now because he won't try, he doesn't seem to care, and I just want him to talk now not tomorrow. His little sounds that he makes instead of noises has just gotten on my nerves this week, I guess because he hasn't made any progress, won't say any sounds, and just doesn't seem to care. He wasn't very cooperative at speech this week and just want him to talk to me. We both get easily frustrated and too many times this week I have gotten mad or snapped at him and I just have had the patience I need, it has been hard.

3rd- Potty training attempt day 2 didn't go so well. We tried this morning, no luck. This afternoon and evening he went his pants twice. Why can't one thing just be easy? I have been good at not getting mad when he has peed on himself, but I am very frustrated that he pees right before or after I try and get him on the potty, my timing is off and it stinks.

4th- Both kiddos have had allergies/colds this week and have been super clingy which makes me a bit irritable, at the end of the day I have little patience for anyone because I just so tired of having someone needed to be held, I am all touched out and have nothing left.

5th- Lily is now semi-mobile and gets into lots of things, Lance's toys especially. Lance does not like her having anything of his or anything for that matter, he is constantly grabbing whatever is in her hands and hiding it or putting it where she can't get to it which then causes her to get upset and cry. He also has been pushing her over and hitting, I am not ready to deal with sibling fighting yet. My sweet boy has been quite mean to his sister and I am just tired of all of the crying.

6th- Lance has been a bit defiant lately and discipline wears me out. He has run away from me in a parking lot twice and in a store once. He is testing his limits and seeing how far he can go, but it makes me sad, where did my sweet baby boy go? Why does he seem to like to do things that I say not to do?

Both kids have been a handful this week and I am tired.
I haven't been able to keep up with the housework and the house has been a bit messy. Of course Jeff had to mention the mess which makes me feel even worse, I am doing the best that I can do, but I am barely treading water. How do women do it, cook, clean, and tend to the kids? This week I haven't been able to do it all because I always seem to have a child awake and wanting my full undivided attention. And i didn't even mention time to myself, maybe next week.

this week has been rough, I have wanted to just run for the hills. my patience is gone. my energy is non-existent. i love my kids and I just feel bad that I have not been the mom they deserve this week, it has been hard,