there should be a rule

No one should get any gray hairs until at least age 35.
Last night when washing my hands I noticed in the mirror a very shiny, wild hair strand.
Upon closer examination I noticed it was gray. I tried to pull it out, but I couldn't, I even enlisted Jeff's help, but no such luck. I shouldn't have gray hair, I am not even 30 yet, and this must be a new one because I just had my hair colored a little over a month ago. The sad thing is, it was quite thick and makes me wish all of my hair was that thick, I hate my limp fine hair sometimes.
While I am on the subject of hair, I thought your hair stopped falling out when you were pregnant (let me rephrase, you didn't lose as much while you are pregnant). Now I know you lose some, but I sure haven't noticed a reduction in hair loss yet, I seem to have lots of the negatives of pregnancy, but none of the positives yet: my hair is still falling out as usual, those that were deflated from nursing have not been inflated yet, my skin is not glowing (if anything extremely itchy), and I have no cute maternity clothes to show off my bump (but hopefully Tuesday we will purchase a few items from Gap, the only clothes that I have found that fit). While thinking about pregnancy, the gagging and dry heaving is getting worse and not better, I only have a week left of the first trimester and things are getting worse and not better, I want to be able to enjoy this pregnancy and not moan and groan the whole time.
Enough whining, there is finally a tv show that isn't a repeat on tonight! Yeah! Lost after almost a year will be back on, finally something other than reality or Nintendo ( i think i am almost over it), now if I can just stay awake to watch it.

the game genie

i hate cold weather, i really do.
I can't wait for spring to come even if it brings pollen and seasonal allergies.
Since there hasn't been anything good on television lately,and it is to cold and dark to be outside, and since I have little energy to go anywhere or do much, nor money to go anywhere we have been playing a lot of old school Nintendo because we are too poor to buy a new game system. We have been playing lots of Super Mario Brothers (1, 2, and 3, but mostly 2), but we were quite limited as to how far we could get because we aren't that skilled. After getting frustrated that we couldn't get past certain levels we decided to cheat and bust out the game genie. The game genie allows you to put in cheat codes and get special powers which make the game more interesting and easier though it sometimes takes some of the fun out of it. We tried playing Super Mario Brothers 2 with infinite lives, but it wasn't a lot of fun so then we tried infinite life meter (you could still die, but the enemies didn't kill you, but they did bump you around a bit) and a powerful jump and it make the game a lot more fun and I ended up beating the game. Even though I cheated I was quite proud of myself, I don't think I have ever beat a Super Mario Brothers game (nor any video game for that matter) and there is no way I could have done it without cheating, especially the bad guy at the end, how did people do it? it seems impossible. So now that I have beaten #2, we are trying for #3, but the cheat codes aren't as helpful nor they aren't as much fun to play with. Lance is also getting a bit better at playing, he can get the character to jump in place and occasionally to jump and move forward, he gets all excited when we let him play, it is very cute.

it still hasn't sunk in yet

This morning I finally had my first OB appointment and ultrasound, about time. I am exactly 12 weeks pregnant today according to the ultrasound and everything looked good, as good as what little you could see, we did see the little heart beating away, a little leg, and of course the head and body.
It is amazing how much two weeks makes in size, lance at the first appointment was only 2.2 cm and looked liked a blob, this baby is 5.3cm and looks like, well, two blobs with a growth (its leg). It still hasn't really sunk in yet even as I sit here staring at the pictures hanging up.

So my due date is August 11th, the ultrasound calculated it to be August 9th, but they aren't changing it since it is close enough. Jeff came with me this morning, it was nice for him to take off, he seemed more excited then me about all this.

A belly shot at 12 weeks, not a good picture, but if I didn't do it now I never would.

Right now I am a little scared about having to go through with birth and late pregnancy again as well as a little sad because we aren't planning on anymore so this is my last pregnancy, sad for lance that he won't be the only child anymore, and anxious for spring to come so we can enjoy warm weather and hopefully some cute maternity clothes.

On a total random note:
This is lance crying, more like screaming and hiding:
Why is he hiding out on what use to be a plant stand? What is he so afraid of that makes him run and hide?
the vacuum!
When is he going to get over this? It has gotten worse. He won't walk by the vacuum anymore by himself and he screams when I turn it on, sometimes even when I am holding him, it is driving me crazy! I can't vacuum when he is asleep and it is an ordeal when he is awake and to make matter worse his new favorite pastime is throw food on the floor and step on it!

nintendo obssession

Lance is obsessed with the Nintendo. My sister had our old Nintendo at her apartment and for something to do on a cold day we borrowed it for a few days. We had no idea that Lance would be so enthralled with it. All he wants to do is play, he grabs a controller and thinks he is playing and he is also content just to watch one of us play, he prefers Mario Brothers to anything else and he even knows how to turn on and off the Nintendo, it is too funny. Jeff and I last night tried to beat Super Mario Brothers 3, but we couldn't get past level 3, it was harder than we remembered, but I was amazed at how much I remember from childhood, such as hidden spots and what enemies to expect. I don't know what Lance is going to do when we return it in a few days. Lance even got my mom addicted when she came over for dinner last night, he sat her down and made her play the original Super Mario Brothers, it was fun to watch because she got really into it. We have let Lance play a few times, but he just knows how to jump. Jeff and I had joked about getting some kind of game system for these cold winter evening with no good TV (thanks to the writers' strike), but I don't think the new game systems are as much fun as the older ones, or maybe I am just old school. I wish we had an old Atari to play with, I could go for some Pitfall or Pole Position.
On a totally different note I am so frustrated I have no clothes to wear, nothing fits, not even my maternity clothes! I went by Old Navy this morning, but their slim selection looked unappealing and everything that I like at Gap is over fifty dollars and since we don't plan on having anymore I don't know what to do. I am amazed at how few maternity clothes I managed with while pregnant with Lance- 5 pairs of pants, and one of them I could only wear the last couple of months, and of those 5 pairs, only 2 fit now and with a toddler they are filthy at the end of the day so I am definitely going to have to get some more. Even my tops don't fit, they aren't wide enough in the shoulders and so they feel weird and ride up, I didn't know that my shoulders had widen that much. After trying on a lot of my clothes I am left with 4 shirts, 2 sweaters (that I won't need much longer), 2 skirts, and 2 pairs of pant, not enough to survive unless I do laundry every 3 days which is a non-option. I am frustrated because I seem to never be pregnant during the right times. When I was pregnant before we didn't have an Old Navy, last year when not pregnant we got one with a large maternity section, this summer they reduced their section to half a section with very limited options and I am sure with my luck, next year when not pregnant they will expand again. I have a tough time finding clothes because I am small to begin with, but I get huge (lance was 8.5 pounds) and no one I know is close to my size and been preggo with clothes to borrow and a lot clothes available don't fit (Target's maternity stuff is too big). On a similar complaining note: my friend who had a baby last month said she was able to fit into her pre-pregnancy clothes 2 weeks after having her baby, 2 weeks! AHHHH! I am skinny and I appeared to lose my weight fast, but I couldn't wear my pre-preggo clothes until 7 months after Lance and there are some clothes that I got rid of because I never did get them to fit again. I just can't believe someone could wear clothes 2 weeks later, wow!

snow day

We actually got some snow! We put Lance in his snowsuit and headed outside to enjoy a little time outside in the snow. Despite the fact that he really couldn't move due to the huge snowsuit, he loved it. The snowsuit is a hand-me-down and it is the right size for him, but it is obvious that it is made for a much taller 18 month old. He looks like he has huge hips and is as wide as he is tall.



He didn't seem to mind all that fabric and got pretty good at waddling around in it. Jeff left a little while ago to go snowboarding with friends and I hope he will be able to make it home safely, the snow has turned to sleet and freezing rain which makes the roads dangerous.

I am feeling better, I am not as tired as I had been the last couple of days. So far Jeff and Lance seem to be feeling good which I am so thankful for, I didn't want to get them sick. Last night I felt pretty bad, I got really nauseous after taking the antibiotic, then I was hungry which made me even more nauseous, and I wasn't able to move without feeling ill, fortunately my mom stopped by and made me some toast, after eating it I felt a whole lot better almost immediately. I can't wait for my digestive system to even out and not always have to be one extreme or another, only a couple more weeks of the first trimester, thank goodness!

typhoid mary

I don't even know if I have the disease or name of the woman right, but that isn't the point. I hope I am not typhoid mary, but I am afraid I might unknowingly spread some germy love around. I don't even know when I started being contagious and it will only be the test of time to see how contagious I really am.
Where to begin?
Sunday- woke up and my left side of my throat hurt, looked in the mirror and noticed my tonsil was swollen. I felt pretty tired, but I haven't been sleeping well and I have been very congested lately so I didn't think too much of it. I took my temperature several times and I didn't have a fever. I was feeling kind of achy so Jeff went to the store for some Tylenol. Took some and felt worlds better. After doing nothing all morning and afternoon we went out shopping and dinner out. The Tylenol really made a difference.
Monday- morning- felt pretty good, tonsil was no longer swollen, went to nurse appointment, was tired in the afternoon, but with reason because I had woken up that morning at 5:30, last night, my throat started to really hurt, but went away and I was extremely fatigued and achy.
This morning- woke up and the right side of my throat hurt, I looked in the mirror and my heart dropped when I noticed that my right tonsil was bright red, swollen, and covered in white spots
I was so upset, I had the classic signs of Strep throat, which I might mention I have never had before! I was a little confused though because I didn't feel really bad, a little fatigued, but I am pregnant and not sleeping that well and congested. I called Jeff and dropped Lance off with him and headed to a urgent care center because I never get sick and don't have a regular doctor. They took my temperature- no fever, I had hopes that it was something else, but when the strep test results came back it was positive for strep. The doctor wrote me a prescription for an antibiotic and sent me on my way.
Fortunately I don't feel that bad, and I bet that once the antibiotic kicks in I will notice a big difference in my energy level, but what is strange is I do really fatigued at time, but it comes and goes.
I just hope that Lance and Jeff stay healthy and that I didn't spread the love to them. I am also curious if I have had it since Sunday or did I just get it today? Who knows. I just hope the antibiotic will not bother my already sensitive digestive system, I am going to be consuming a whole lot of yogurt the next two weeks!

my heart goes out

To the women who have to go through the financial meeting and the nurse visit and then not be pregnant, it seems quite traumatic. Today I had the nurse visit. I had to fill out a questionnaire and we went over my medical history and any symptoms I have been having so far. I received paperwork about save dental procedures and drugs, consent forms for testing, a pregnancy book, and information about the birth center then I had urine test and blood taken. Both nurses said congratulations, and I thanked them and thought, it is weird, we haven't even seen if there is a baby yet, nor listened for a heartbeat, nothing, how do they even know there is something there. My heart aches for the women that I know and those I don't know who go through all this just to get to the ultrasound day and have there be nothing, all of this information and congratulations and it all ends in heartache. I think I could deal with a miscarriage or loss easier if you knew right away instead of having to go through all this other stuff. Jeff made a good point the other day, you could go through all of this without actually being pregnant, you just have to say you are and they take your word for it. I don't know why someone would want to, but it is possible.
I would like to think that of the 5 tubes of blood that one of them would be testing hormone levels, but who knows what all they are testing. I guess I think it should work like this: have ultrasound, then do the testing and money aspect, but I guess they want to make sure they have the money worked out first because you know money is the most important, note sarcasm. So I now have to sit and wait for 11 days until I FINALLY get to go to the doctor and see the baby. For me, this whole thing doesn't seem real, despite feeling ill and getting a bit of a tummy, I don't feel pregnant, it doesn't seem real yet. On a positive note: despite being worried about the blood test it wasn't as bad as I feared, it didn't take that long and I didn't feel woozy till I was practically home and was able to drink something sweet. I hate needles so I am excited that I have one blood test down, two more to go, but I have to admit, getting it taken out of the arm is a lot better than the finger prick, well, my arm is still a little sore so that might be debatable.

this isn't getting any easier

This is definitely our last child because I am NOT doing this again! I have felt worse this pregnancy then I did with Lance, everyone tells me it is because it is a girl, I guess we will see in six months. Thursday afternoon I had terrible indigestion which then turned to extreme nauseous because I waited a little too long to eat dinner and then last night I was so bloated that I was miserable. I woke up at 2:30 and had Jeff pray for me because I was still so miserable, I couldn't sleep, and I was at my wits end. This morning I woke up with a horrible headache and my stomach still doesn't feel right and I am a bit stuffy which makes me gag. Tomorrow I will be 10 weeks and with Lance at this point I was starting to feel good and almost over the whole hump of nastiness. I know I shouldn't complain there are lots of people who would love to be pregnant and a child is a blessing, but I am a bad sick person, I hate feeling bad and I just can't seem to get this whole food/eating thing down. If I eat too much I am bloated or have indigestion, if I don't eat enough I am nauseous, I just feel like I can't win.
Since I am on a complaining rant I should mention that my first doctor appointment is in 2 weeks! I will be a few days shy of 13 weeks at that point! The office that I go to doesn't usually see people until 10 weeks and since my doctor is obviously very popular I don't have my first appointment until January 25. I hate this not knowing what is going on, it is weird, but other than switching doctors there really isn't anything I can do about it. I have already gone in for the financial where they tell you how much money you have to pay and when it is due. My nurse visit is on Monday, there they will take ridiculous amounts of blood and go over my worksheets that talk about any health problems the baby may inherit from Jeff and I.
I do have something to be thankful for: whoever has broken into my car does it at night and not during the day when I could interrupt them. My mom's best friend's husband came home from work one day this week to have lunch. He doesn't lock his car during the day especially when he is only home for 20-30 minutes. Anyways, he heads out towards his car to return to work, opens the car door and there was a man sitting in his car attempting to steal his CD player. He immediately heads back inside and calls the police, he didn't want to confront the guy because he didn't know if he had any kind of weapon. The guy was nice enough to apologize before Peyton went inside and he didn't take the CD player he just left right away. Can you imagine, opening your car door to someone inside trying to take something? Or being so clueless that you don't even notice someone is in your car until you open the door? So after hearing this story I realize that I am quite thankful that whoever goes into our car steal our stuff doesn't hang out for us to find them. Also I have cleaned up my car really well and will try to never leave anything of value in the car again, I hope I can do this, it is hard when you have to grab purse, ipod, charger, phone, child, child's belongs, anything else we may have brought or bought, but I can't let someone take something a third time.
Also, I got more information about the drunk guy in our driveway. Turns out it is the son of the woman who lives in the house across the street and 3 doors down (he doesn't live in there he was just visiting). After leaving our house he tried getting in his car, set off the car alarm, went in the house to get his coat, set off the car alarm, tried to get in the house and realized he locked himself out of the house, set off the car alarm again, called someone on his cell phone, set off the car alarm a few more times, a friend arrived and the guy and friend walked away. Our neighbor said that they were watching the drama and realized who he was and planned on calling the police if he was successful with getting in the car because he was way to drunk to drive. She was also a bit worried that the guy would come over to their house to ask for the spare key that she kept, but he must have been way to gone to think that clearly. The mother of the guy apologized to our neighbor and said she was quite embarrassed about the whole situation and that her son has been getting way to drunk lately. I told our neighbor to tell her that she is lucky we didn't call the police and next time we probably will. I just don't understand why people get themselves so drunk that they aren't capable of any kind of reason. My neighbor confirmed Jeff's guess that the guy set off the alarm eight times. Eight times! Eight times, why on earth did he not just give up and go to bed, oh, i forgot, he locked himself out of the house or at least he couldn't figure out how to get back in. So it looks like I get a good night's sleep every other night. If this keeps up I am going to be so sleep deprived when the baby finally gets here I will be as out of it as the drunk guy the other night. Speaking of sleep, I could really go for some about now, but I am currently watching the shop so Jeff could volunteer down at the skate park. Hopefully he will get here, I will pick up Lance at my mom's house and then we will head home and take a good long nap. My fingers are crossed!

the neighborhood is getting worse

I am so ready to move. First it was someone going into my car and stealing my Ipod accessories and now it a drunk guy in our driveway in the middle of the night, but there is more. I was outside talking to our next door neighbor this week and she said she wanted to warn me that she found a used condom out in the street by her driveway. She said she was use to seeing things like that on the street our driveway is on, but not our street (we live on the corner, side street leads to ghetto apartments, front street to dead end, nice neighborhood). While we were chatting I noticed a beer can in the middle of the yard, our yard tends to be the ghetto's trash can. Then for kicks and giggles I read the crime report for our city for the month of December and discovered there was a cocaine possession arrest on the side street and the block listed was the same one our house is on, lovely! Then the icing on the cake was last night's incident. Jeff was having some trouble sleeping so he came downstairs to lay down on the couch. A little before 3 he noticed the driveway motion sensor light came on so he got up and went into the kitchen to see what set it off. He saw a man standing in our driveway, he appeared to be drunk because he was wavering back and forth, but he was still in our driveway! (note: the sidewalk is on the opposite side of the street so this wasn't just someone wandering off of the sidewalk innocently, but then again, maybe he was really drunk and couldn't find the sidewalk) Finally the guy left and wandered down and across the street. He tried opening a door to an SUV and set off the alarm 3 houses down from us (this woke me up-it was really loud and lasted for about 10 minutes). Jeff says after setting off the alarm the guy wandered into the yard of the house we was in front of, talked on a cell phone, triggered the car alarm again multiple times and walked back up the street the way he must have come from. I asked Jeff why he didn't call the police, he claims he wasn't thinking straight, I wish he would have, it would have at least given him some more drama to watch. So after all of this I am ready to move to a different neighborhood, one that doesn't connect to anywhere else, maybe a dead end street or out in the county. I know that all neighborhoods have problems, but with the drugs coming through (and the pot dealer 10 houses down), the speeding cars that fly down the road, our nightly visitors and the trash from people who just throw it out their windows, not to mention the dog poop we step in regularly despite the fact we don't own a dog I want another house and I would like something a little safer for my kids.

dawn direct foam

Last month I was given a sample of Dawn Direct Foam to try. I have tried it and there are some aspects that I really liked, but some that I didn't. I was quite surprised at how far one pump lasted. It didn't make it through a whole sink full of dishes, but it went farther than regular dish soap. It didn't work as well on the scrubbing brush I used and it lasted longer on the large sponge they sent with the sample in comparison to my regular small one. The scent was very different and wasn't too bad, i think I would prefer the citrus or lime scent because a few mornings the smell grossed me out, but nowadays every smell has the potential to gross me out. I would not buy it again for myself because I prefer to use soap I can use in the in-sink dispenser because I have very little counter space, but I would consider it if we ever get a bigger kitchen.

the one time i don't lock my car

okay, so it really is the second time
but the point is, i am neurotic about locking my car and the one time (second time) i don't someone steals something out of my car
grrrrrrr!
fortunately this time they didn't get my ipod which was in car, but they did get my car charger and fm transmitter
I always lock my car, i do, but last night when coming home from the grocery store I didn't, I meant to as soon as I got in the house, but I got distracted because lance was pulling out the groceries and trying to open up the goldfish bag
I am so frustrated that someone out there feels entitled to taking whatever they feel like from my car and angry that there is NOTHING I CAN DO!!!
Whoever stole both our ipods, charger, and transmitter back in april got away with it and who knows maybe they came back for round two
the crazy thing is, our next door neighbor use to leave his keys, wallet, ipod, phone, everything in his car and he never got anything taken, but then his driveway isn't on the same street as ours which leads to the ghetto apartments, we live in a nice, desirable neighborhood, the only problem is that the road our driveway is on is a shortcut to a shady apartment complex and unfortunately some shady people pass through.
so since this is the second time something has been taken out of car i am ready to move
granted ever since lance could really get around I have wanted to move, but now I really want to move onto greener pastures or at least a house with a garage.
Okay, I must think positively, they weren't smart enough to find my ipod and jeff got so fed up that he fixed the security light to make sure that it would go off if someone was in our driveway so they can't come back for round 3!
so my question is: why can't a girl get a little grace? i messed up, i didn't lock the car one time in a hundred and something gets taken, no wonder i am a perfectionist

what happened to global warming?

How do people up north survive the cold? I hate being cold and this three day freezing cold streak is getting to me. I realized this week that I could not handle living in places like Michigan or Minnesota or even Canada, I would die of hypothermia. Then again, maybe houses up north are better insulated so they aren't cold. The window film has made a big difference in keeping out drafts, but with limited insulation under the house, the front rooms are still chilly, well the floors are and with a toddler we spend most of our time on the floor. Fortunately the cold weather isn't suppose to last and Monday it is suppose to be close to 60, I cant' wait!
On a total random note I got to use my breastfeeding experience to help someone else. I had an extremely hard time with breastfeeding in the beginning, but with stubborn determination we overcame and ended up nursing for 17 months. A friend of mine had a baby a little over two weeks ago and she has been struggling with breastfeeding herself. She is having the same problems that I experienced so I was able to use what I learned to help her. We had a semi-successful feeding with her little girl this morning when I was over at her house and I hope that she will continue to stick with it. It doesn't make any sense why something as natural as breastfeeding is so hard. In the beginning, I was so frustrated and didn't understand why I had such a bad experience, but now I know it is so I can support others who are struggling and offer encouragement when things are so tough. This morning I couldn't get over how little Ella was, she is around seven pounds, probably give a few ounces and she seems so small. I was kind of nervous holding her since Lance was never that little, he seemed monstrous in comparison. I wonder if baby number 2 will be as big, I don't know if I can birth another eight and half pounder or larger.

it's cold out, but not in here

I love our house, but hate the windows, but now I don't mind them so much. Our house was built in 1946 and the windows are probably original and are extremely drafty. You can sit on the futon in the playroom and feel cold air blowing on the back of your neck. I wish we could afford replacement windows, but that isn't in our budget so we went the cheaper route and put up a plastic barrier. When Jeff told me about this I was very unsure, plastic on the windows, very ghetto, but after being constantly cold and temperatures in the 30s I gave in. I hate being cold and I am getting desperate to stay warm! Yesterday Lance and Jeff went to Lowes to find the plastic wrap and were delighted to see that it was only 6 dollars for 5 windows, so if we hated it there would not be a huge financial loss. They came home and Jeff began installing. I was extremely skeptical that this flimsy, thin, wrinkly plastic would be anything but an eyesore, but I was wrong. The plastic after use of a hair dryer becomes tight and virtually transparent and I am amazed at the temperature difference. I put out a thermometer in the living room to measure the difference: before plastic 66 degrees, after 70 degrees. We were only able to get 4 windows done and I can think of 3 more that need sealing. I hope our efforts will pay on in saving money on our heating bill because the price of gas to heat keeps going up and it is very expensive. Now if I can just get Jeff to under the house again to get those last two rows of insulation up we might stay toasty on this cold winter.
Reading back over this post I realize how sad my life is: I am excited about insulating our windows, but then again I might be rejoicing over our heating bill in a month!

a new year with mixed feelings

I hate to be so unoriginal, but how did the year go by so fast? I can't believe it is 2008 already. Last year was mixed, some good times, beach trips, lance's first birthday, lance sleeping through the night consistently, and great times with lance, but also some sad times, lance leaving babyhood and entering toddlerhood, the rough patches at the shop, Erica moving away, me being in a funk part of the year. 2008 has lots of promise, but possible losses as well. Jeff is currently trying to decide whether to keeping going with the store, we have been open for six years and though I would like more time with him and less stress, I don't know what it will be like without the Scene 3. My biggest fear is that he will resent me and blame me for the store closing because with me not working he has to provide for us financially and that is the reason we will close the store, but I gotta keep things positive. The arrival of baby in August will be exciting, but also sad because it won't be just the three of us and the ease of vacation and going out in general will be gone, but we will be over the baby phase and ready for bigger and newer things which is exciting. I have some new year's resolutions: get rid of debt, save more, start saving for retirement, drink more water and go for a walk at least 4 times a week (easy in the spring and summer, but i get lazy in the winter). I really want to be better about saving money and now that I am managing our money it is easier to transfer money into savings then nagging jeff to do it. I hope and pray that 2008 will be a better year for us financially, I hate treading water and I hope this year with better planning we can keep our head above water because last fall we were submerged and it has taken us 3 months to get out of the hole. So it is a new year, a fresh start and I look forward to the adventure ahead.