third percentile, preparations, and one good message

Yesterday we went to the doctor for Lance's 15 month check-up. Lance only gained 2 ounces in the last three months and 3/4 of an inch in height. So little man is in the third percentile for height and weight and he is 3 ounces from weighing 20 pounds. He seems bigger than back in April, but I guess he isn't. Poor Lance had to get four vaccinations yesterday which may have accounted for his midnight screaming session. The doctor said that everything looked good and and none of my concerns were anything to be worried about. He also said that once he was weaned completely he would probably gain more weight, but weaning him could be mean a rough four or five days. I don't know if I am ready for that.
Today we are trying to get ready to go to the beach tomorrow for a week. I am so excited, but it is very difficult to try and get things done when Lance comes behind me and undoes everything I do. I really should be packing clothes right now instead of on the computer, but my priorties are out of whack and I enjoy the downtime, I will pay for it later.
I subscribe to Andy Stanley's podcasts on itunes and I LOVE the last message in the Breakaway series, it is real. It made me realize that we are aren't going to grow and change as long as we are lying to ourselves. I am such a truth junkie, I try and be truthful to others and I am bothered when people lie to me. In the message Andy Stanley mentioned that when we lie people don't believe us which confirmed something that I have always felt. I get upset when someone lies to me because I feel that they are insulting my intelligence, I think, "do they think I am so stupid that I don't know that they are lying and that they think I am going to believe what they are saying." Listening to this message and hearing that statement about how people don't believe other people when they lie makes me feel like I am not crazy, see I never understand why people just let other people lie and never say anything about it, I wonder, am I the only person not buying into what they have just said, but I realize that no one believes people when they lie, they just don't say anything. I take some of that back, the people telling the lie begin to believe it. I don't even know if my ramblings make any sense, but the point being, people lie, and I am not the only one who doesn't buy it, yeah, I am that self-centered that I thought I was the only one who could see through people. That still doesn't make sense. I never understand why no one tries to point out other people's lies, but now I know why, it wouldn't matter because the one lying believes what they are saying, but no one else does and there is no point to trying to point to the truth. For example, I was talking awhile back to a not so favorite person in my life. She was telling me that she was "so excited" that she was having a boy, I got the feeling she was lying and kind of pressed her on the issue and asked her a few questions that made her go on and on about how she was so excited about having a boy, yet the answers to her questions made it sound as though she really had wanted a girl. After the conversation my mom told me that I shouldn't be bothered that this person had lied to me and that she could tell that what this person was saying wasn't true, but there was no use getting out the truth because this person believed her lie at that moment. Once again, rambling. In a year or two when I look back at this, I wonder if I will be able to understand my point, do I even have one? The bottom line (I think I have said this before) in order to grow we have to be real with ourselves because as long as we are lying to ourselves we aren't going to move any closer to our Father who longs for us to just be real. Andy Stanley's messages are so good, I would move to Georgia just so I could go to his church and I don't like big churches, until then I will just watch and listen online.
Must go pack while Lance is napping. 1 one more day till the beach!

busy, busy, busy

Last week and this past weekend were way to busy. This week isn't much better especially since I have to pack for the beach. I can't wait to get away for a week especially to the beach, even though I am a bit freaked since there was a shark attack there last week in knee-high water! Not to mention next week is Shark Week on discovery, I might not even get my toes wet, yeah right. Last week I helped Erica get ready for a yard sale. It wasn't easy since lance or colin were constantly undoing everything we did. I made around thirty dollars myself which isn't bad, and I guess worth getting up at 5:30 to get ready for the sale which started at 6:30. Next time I help or have a yard sale we are starting until 8, 6:30 is crazy! Last Friday I helped get ready for the yard sale then I went out to dinner with my monday morning small group, it was a lot of fun to go out alone, no Jeff, no Lance. After dinner I headed back to finish up preparations for the yard sale. By the time I had come home Lance was already in bed which made me sad. I realized that I am not ready for him to be independent of me, but all sadness was over at 4:30 am when Lance was up and wanted to nurse. I got up saturday morning before lance did and so I wasn't there when we got up for the day, once again, a set towards independence. Jeff said that he looked around for me, but he did fine. Jeff then took him over to my mom's so she could watch him in the morning so I could help out at the yard sale. She finally brought him over to Erica's at about noon. Even though I was home for his early, early morning nursing session, this was the closest experience to being gone overnight that we had ever had since I wasn't there for dinner, bedtime, getting up, and the morning. Lance and I cleaned up the yard sale and then went home to take a nap. We then headed over to my mom's house for dinner. Sunday morning we went to breakfast and had a great time people watching before church. After church mom came over and babysat so Jeff and I could spend some alone time. You know you are a parent when you get some free time and you buy diapers, groceries, and grab a quick sandwich and all the while wondering what you little one is doing without you. It was nice to run errands and eat lunch together, but I wish we could have done something a little more exciting or note worthy, maybe next time. Shortly after we got back from our outing Erica came by to drop off her kids so her and Jason could have some alone time. It was craziness trying to handle three kids under the age of 2, but we managed. At five, two other couples came over for small group, and one couple was babysitting as well so we had 5 kids we were trying to manage, it was craziness, someone was always crying, usually lance (he hadn't really had a nap) and someone was always going in and out (usually lance trying to get away from colin who was making him cry). After all the kids went home and Lance went to bed we had some good conversations about everything from movies to dealing with in-laws. I really enjoyed hanging out with our new friends. Sunday night Lance did not sleep well, it was like he was a newborn again, he was up at 1, 4, 6, and 7:30 for good. We were both tired so we just hung around the house and got nothing done. This morning we babysat and now I should be getting something done, but I am not. On an exciting note, I am an approved seller of New Native Baby Carriers so I really should be working on setting up a website to sell them. I hope that I will be able to bring in a little extra income by doing what I have been doing all along. Four more days until the beach!

late nights

This weekend I did a few things that are a bit out of character for me, I did not keep a strict bed schedule for Lance and we are out in the evenings past his bedtime. I have been quite neurotic in the past about staying home in the evenings to make sure that Lance goes to bed at the same time in hopes that he would sleep all night, but now that he is sleeping, I have eased up. Friday night we headed to Target to get a wedding present for our friends who were getting married on Saturday. Saturday we went to our friend's wedding minus Lance, which was nice and stress-free. We then headed downtown to see an outdoor movie. Going to see the movie was a huge experiment because it could be fun or a nightmare if he ended up screaming and crying, but fortunately it was a success. Lance loved watching the people and the trains that passed by. Once the movie started he ate some goldfish, snuggled in with me, and eventually went to sleep. I had to hold Lance while he was sleeping, but it wasn't too bad because it was kind of chilly and he kept me warm. The movie playing was "The Birds." It was very entertaining despite the volume being a little too loud which made the bad sound effects even worse, the sound of the birds hurt my ears. We didn't get to stay for the whole movie because Jeff was tired and it was pretty late (11pm- well late for us). Then last night we went to dinner with friends which was stressful because Lance wanted to walk all around, he wanted nothing to do with his high chair, and he wanted to dip everything in the ranch. After dinner we went to go see a friend's house they are fixing up and we didn't get home until 9:30 which for the third night in a row was past Lance's bedtime. Jeff went with the guys to go see a movie and me despite being exhausted waited up for him. By the time I got into bed I was so tired I was nauseous, fortunately I fell right to sleep and I don't think I got up until 6:30 this morning. One thing that stinks is despite what time we go to bed (Lance included), Lance gets up at the same time which stinks if you stay up late. On a positive front- we bought some wood to fix the railing on the front porch and some paint swatches to look at colors for repainting the shudders/ doors and our bedroom. We started working on the porch by tearing one side down, but that is as far as we have gotten and hopefully we will have at least one side done this week.

the past week in pictures

I finally uploaded the pictures from my camera. Here is the last week and a day in pictures.

4th of July. We hiked to Apple Orchard Falls.

Jeff already looks tired and we haven't even started.



Lance enjoyed walking around on the observation deck.



Though the picture doesn't quite capture it, the trail was beautiful, there was a sea of green all around us. It looked like a forest I imagine in fairy tales, it was so peaceful.




Here is Lance trying on his toddler DVS's which are still too big for him. He had a hard time figuring out how to walk in them.



Notice the red ear, it is much better now, I don't know what caused the swelling and redness.



Here he is showing off the new screenprinted bamboo decks.



Here is Lance right before our walk to the playground. Today was warm, but the humidity was low so it felt wonderful outside. We took a walk to the church playground after dinner.



Lance loves the slide and especially tonight because we remembered to bring socks with us so that he would slide down the slide better. This is not the best picture because it is so blurry, but it does capture his joy.



I love this picture, it is so cute.



Here he is getting ready to go.


Lance has been pretty grumpy today, I don't know if he is overly tired or what, but he did eat a good dinner and was a lot of fun during our walk. We took the backpack since we were going very far and he enjoyed hitting daddy on the head, pointing to things, and trying to kick me. Someone pointed out to me today, the things in our lives that bring us the most joy is usually what brings us the most frustrations, I can definitely say that is true of today. I had such a good time this evening at the playground, but at 5 when Lance was screaming, crying, and clawing at me I was so frustrated I didn't know what to do. Tonight while we were eating dinner, I couldn't imagine what life was like before Lance, and I also thought about how life is nothing like I thought it would be, it is a lot harder, but a lot better too. Life with Lance is hard, but it is good.

photo day

This morning we had an appointment to get Lance's picture taken. I had several outfits that I had picked out, gotten him a haircut yesterday, a bath last night just so he would look cute and of course something had to happen. I noticed this morning that his year was red and swollen. He must have a bug bite because little man has one nice little pink ear and one large red year. It doesn't seem to bother him so I am not too worried, just a little disappointed that of all the days, why couldn't this have happened tomorrow or last week? We took him to get his picture taken and most of the pictures are of his left side so you notice his ear. Some pictures it was more obvious then others, but I think we got some cute shots. We took pictures with 2 outfits, one his smocked outfit he wore to the wedding and then his skateboard shirt and plaid shorts. He looked quite cute in his brown outfit especially in contrast to his light blue "dressy" outfit. After the session we went to lunch which was yummy, but Lance was getting crabby because he was tired and when I tried to prevent him from throwing his cup on the floor, he leaned over and bite me, and it hurt. We have got to break him of this habit asap. We stopped by to see Daddy on the way home and tried on a pair of DVS toddler shoes we had hoped he had grown into by now, unfortunately they are still too big. He had a hard time walking around in the shoes, but they looked very cute. We finally got him and I fed him some yogurt and tried to get him to drink more prune juice. He is once again constipated, poor buddy, hopefully this episode won't be as tramatic as the last time. If it isn't one thing it is another.

hot and muggy

It is definitely summer outside now, I miss the cool temperatures of last week. This morning Jeff had to go report for jury duty, thankfully he was not picked to be on the jury. If he had been then I would have to run the store today and I have lots I need to get done at home, which I need to get started on ASAP. Lance and I were heading to Walmart this morning to go grocery shopping when I remembered that I needed to call Lindsay and get an appointment for Lance to get his haircut. She had an available time slot 20 minutes later and we headed over to see her. Lance did pretty good sitting still for his haircut and he looks totally different now with his shorter style. While we were there Lindsay also waxed my eyebrows which is the only pampering I really do for myself and it is hard to call waxing pampering, but I don't have the time to pluck myself so waxing it is. I did learn an interesting fact while at the hair salon, according to Lindsay and my OB, it takes healthy couples 6 months to a year to get pregnant, that is a long time? So even if I could convince Jeff tomorrow, it could be a year before we have any luck, it sounds kind of depressing. After the salon we headed to Walmart, I took a different way and kind of got lost but I enjoyed the scenic route. Major grocery shopping is a lot harder now that Lance is into everything. He was constantly going through my purse and throwing the contents on floor, and pulling things out of the cart and throwing them on the floor, and it was very difficult to focus on staying within my budget, finding groceries, checking things off my list, and organizing coupons. I was very stressed, I went over budget, I forgot a few things, and I don't want to do that again. I pray that we one day get our heads above water financially and be able to grocery shop at Kroger instead of Walmart, but until then I brave Walmart. We then headed home and brought all of the groceries home and put away. Lance and I ate lunch and then he is currently napping. I was enjoying a book a friend let me borrow, but I do need to get cleaning especially if we go hang out with the Aubes after nap. It is so hot outside, I am so thankful I have central air and I am inside.

money isn't everything

The other day I had some time on my hands and I read through the book of Ecclesiastes and a verse stuck out at me (10:19). "A feast is made for laughter, and wine makes life merry, but money is the answer for everything." I reread is several times because it sure seemed to contradict 1 Timothy 6:10- "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil" and other passages in the Bible. I also thought about why this verse seemed to jump off the page at me. According to the Bible blurb, this verse is saying that people think money is the answer to everything, but it is not. Where they concluded that is beyond me, since I read the whole book and though I understood that Solomon was explaining that life without God is meaningless, but there doesn't seem to be any explanation. So today I have been thinking about why this verse stuck out so much to me and what it means to me. I realize that I know at one level that money doesn't bring happiness, it doesn't make life easier, and it won't solve my problems, but on another level I believe that it will. I found myself saying, if we could just pay off our debt things wouldn't be so stressful, if the shop just brought in more income it would be easier, if I could just buy a few things that I want I would be happier, but the reality is, though I may not want to accept it, money isn't the answer. Though, the shop may bring in more money, it just might make Jeff busier and have less time for us, the bills might get paid easier, but we will find more things to spend money on, and most importantly, you can't take it with you, and stuff is just stuff in the end. I am very thankful that I live in the U.S. and I don't think I would want to live anywhere else, I just wish it wasn't so commercialized and competitive. It is hard to break free.

i wish

I never win anything, but that doesn't mean i don't try. adventures in babywearing is having a contest to win a funky carrier that would be way cool from all natural mommies.
I would love a new carrier, something a little different for a little variety, but I am learning to be content with what I have, maybe one day!

happy 4th

It is a happy 4th today. Jeff took the day off and the day has been awesome. We hung out at home this morning and then packed up and headed to the Blue Ridge Parkway to do some hiking. Despite it being July, the temperature is the low 80's which makes it wonderful to be outside. We ate our lunch by a lake and then hiked to Apple Orchard Falls. They were very pretty and it was so nice to be outside and in the woods. The hike to the falls was easy because it was all downhill, but the way back was tough. On the way down we came across a doe that was a little too close, I got a little freaked because she was not scared of us and we were only 10 feet away. Jeff also spotted some nice rock overhangs and cracks for climbing. Lance did great in the backpack, Lance hates to be confined so I expected him to not like it, but I think he likes being at eye level with me and close to Jeff. On the way back home we stopped at every overlook to enjoy the view and the cool weather. Today has been so nice because Jeff hasn't had to work and we haven't had a schedule and we have just done whatever we have wanted, basically a Saturday to everyone else but us. It makes me wonder, is the shop really worth all of the missed opportunities? Will all of his hard work ever pay off? At what point is is not worth it anymore? Working six days a week is hard and there are lots of things that I wish we could do, but can't, like going out of town on Saturday, hiking, biking, nothing, housework. Then again, if he had Saturdays off would we really do anything together?

beautiful

Beautiful, the one word description of yesterday and a word I will use a hundred times in describing it because I was not an English major in college so my vocabulary is lacking is good descriptive words. Yesterday was Amy's wedding and it was beautiful. The cake was gorgeous, the flowers were amazing, my hair looked awesome, our dresses were amazing, and Amy was absolutely beautiful. The only negative of the day was- it was hot, in the church and at the reception despite it not being not that hot of a day outside yesterday. Yesterday was long, but it was beautiful. I arranged for Amy, Rebecca (the bridesmaid), my mom, and I to all get our hair done for the wedding. Since I needed to drive separately I got to go first. Lindsay did my hair up, but funky in little knots in the back, it is similar to how I wear my hair normally, but a lot neater and smoother looking. I loved it! I then dashed off to the mall to try and find something for Jeff to wear to the wedding because Friday night we discovered that he really didn't have anything nice to wear, well, his dress clothes did not look nice on him. I ended up finding him a blazer, shirt, and pants at the Gap that I thought would look nice, it is hard dressing up a t-shirt and jeans guy for a nice wedding. Lance and I then headed to my mom's house to find something to eat. Next was home for a nap. I put Lance down and tried to see if I could sleep myself since I didn't sleep well the night before but trying to sleep with your forehead resting on the armrest of the couch isn't that comfortable. I gave up the idea of a nap and kept moving instead. Christy ate some lunch at my mom's and then headed over. She did her own hair and makeup and then did mine. My makeup looked so good, I need to have her teach me what she did so I can try and duplicate it again. Oh yeah, and after an hour Lance was up from his nap, this didn't look like a good sign to get him to be a happy baby for the long afternoon/evening ahead. We then headed over to the church and did Rebecca and Amy's makeup and got dressed for pictures. We got the pictures taken and then we were locked in the parlor until the wedding. Time seemed to tick by so slowly and it was really boring just sitting around with nothing to do or look at. To past the time I pretended I was the flower girl and walked around tossing petals and then I would have a contest with the flower girl to see who could pick up the petals the fastest. The bouquets of flowers were so gorgeous, but heavy and since I was the matron of honor I decided I should practice holding both bouquets of flowers and as I was walking to pick up mine, it hit me, I didn't have the groom's ring. I was given the ring when we were upstairs changing and I didn't bring it with me for pictures because I thought I was going to go back upstairs before the wedding. Panic hit me and I rushed to the door and called for Christy to run upstairs and get the ring. She went and got the ring and I was so thankful that I remembered it now 10 minutes before the wedding instead of during the ceremony when I was suppose to hand it over. Crisis adverted, thank goodness. The last ten minutes pasted quickly and before I knew it we were lining up to walk down the aisle. Up until we lined up I was nervous, but at that point my nervousness changed to excitement. I got up to the front without tripping and I didn't think I was going to cry until I saw my sister standing behind the doors ready to walk down the aisle. She was so beautiful and happy and I just started tearing up. The ceremony went by quickly and fortunately no one passed out (the bride and groom are known to pass out) the only problem was it was hot and the tile floor and my new shoes made it uncomfortable to stand, my knees and feet hurt and since I was in front I didn't want to move around too much. Lance did great during the ceremony, we were worried that he would see me up front and get upset or try and get to me, but he didn't. After the ceremony there were a million pictures and then we were finally able to make it to the reception. I liked being in the bridal party, you got to eat first and for the first time in two days I was hungry and the food was so good! There were ham biscuits, chicken and pineapple skewers, veggies, fruit, cheese, chicken salad, eclairs, tomato and basil, fruit spread on ginger snaps, and my favorite: strawberries with chocolate to dip them in. The reception was at a Civil War fort and was decorated with lots of flowers and the cake was exquisite. Amy and Chris toasted after eating cake, not with champagne, but with Chris' favorite, Coca-cola. The cake was really good too and wedding cake isn't always good, but this was delicious. Before we knew it, it was 8 and time to clean up. We were able to tear down the tables and pack everything up relatively quickly. We put Lance to bed and then I headed over to my mom's house to bring her some of the food we had taken home with us. My mother's house looked like a flower shop with all of the flowers all over the place. All my family was there and it was nice to hang out for a little while with them before I headed home at 10 for bed. The day was perfect and so beautiful. When I got home I confessed to Jeff that today was wonderful and I really felt absolutely beautiful today. Jeff always tells me I look pretty or nice, but yesterday I felt like I was. It was kind of sad to think about how Amy is now married and no longer lives at my mom's house, and that my mom is now all alone. It was also sad to see my great uncle at the reception because he looks a lot like my grandfather who I wished could have been there to walk Amy down the aisle, he had escorted me at my wedding. I missed Pop yesterday, but I realize today, I thought about Pop not being there, but not my father's absence, I guess that is what twenty years of absence will do. I slept like a log last night and feel great this morning, wait take that back, sleep wise I feel great, but my head was so congested that I couldn't lay back down because it felt like it was going to explode. Today is a busy day too, the whole family is getting together for brunch before everyone goes their separate ways, Christy, Erica and I want to get together, and there are fireworks this evening. I also worried a bit about my mom because once everyone leaves it will hit her that Amy is gone and I think it is going to be rough. Oh yeah, and after working in a frenzy this last week to clean house, make favors, find clothes, I am going to relax!